David Ginola - Long-haired foppish French guy adored by English girls and 'the face' of Head and Shoulders. I think he also plays football (soccer)
Teddy Sheringham - ah, this guy does play football because he's a pug-faced cockney (and therefore useless for modelling) who has about as much chance of getting a snog as a baboon's arse. He can finish, though....
Oh, he also plays for England but I wouldn't hold that against him.
Ossie Ardiles - One of the greatest footballer's of our time. He won the world cup in 1978 with Argentina and then went on to a very successful playing career in England with Tottenham Hotspur. For some reason he mistakenly thought that he could transfer this success to managing the club. He is now on the 'where are they now?' list.
Diego Maradona -
The greatest living footballer (not counting Pele and Garrincha of Brazil) who won the world cup with Argentina in 1986 and scored a beaut of a goal against England (well, two actually). The other with his, ahem, head.
He is now competing with Elvis for the title of most drugged-out, overweight has-been of the century.
Tony Blair PM - The President of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Like the last paragraph of
Animal Farm you could look at him and then at Margaret Thatcher and damn me if you could tell the difference.
Virginia Bottomley - Ah, yes. She used to be the Tory (Conservative) minister for health in John Major's cabinet. She single-handedly managed to turn the NHS into what it isn't today. She's very popular with the elderly, ill, unions, nurses, doctors, pensioners - just about everyone, really. But then again, maybe I've been misinformed.
Michael Heseltine - Some mad bugger who managed to get into Margaret Thatcher's government and, within a few weeks, declared war on Argentina. Funnily enough, he wasn't sacked for this and John Major even thought he was worth keeping for his cabinet. Mad, mad, MAD!
David Mellor - Another Tory MP with the same looks as Teddy Sheringham but not half the playing skill. Infamously caught in a three-in-a-bed tryst in the early '90s he resigned his post and moved to the back-benches. When he lost his seat he became a football commentator (Hells Bells!).
The Metropolitan Police Force - The British police operatic society.
Benson and Hedges - a not very funny comedy partnership who'll have you gagging.
Selina Scott - a former TV newsreader and interviewer who's been boughed quite a bit (geddit?)
Mel Gibson - A right tulip
Gloria Estefan - Miami vice
Chris Rea - a Geordie musician who's actually quite good live. Pity you can't understand much of what he says.
Martina Navratilova - Ugh!
Gabriela Sabatini - Another Argentinian (how do they all get in here?). A great tennis player
and a looker. Like a cross between Navratilova and Kournikova.
President Clinton, of the USA - The last President of the USA, apparently. He has a penchant for saxophones and cigars but doesn't necessarily use them for what they were meant.
Edited to include a def for RC as requested below.....
