From a nice little site you may enjoy - Parker and many others.http://www.chesco.com/~artman/main.html

Dorothy Parker :
"If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the people He gave it to."
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"If all the girls at Brandeis were laid end-to-end, I wouldn't be surprised."
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The ladies men admire, I've heard,
Would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light;
They'd rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake till three,
Nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure,
Nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints ...
So far, I've had no complaints.
-Dorothy Parker
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Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
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How could I not love the woman who wrote this:
Fighting Words

Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad -
Still behold me at your side.

Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue -
Still you have my heart to wear.

But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!
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Here in my heart, I am Helen;
I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least.
I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Stael;
I'm Salome, moon of the East.

Here in my soul I am Sappho;
Lady Hamilton am I, as well.
In me R'ecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea,
With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell.

I'm all of the glamorous ladies
At whose beckoning history shook.
But you are a man, and see only my pan,
So I stay at home with a book.
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I met her once, at the ANPA Convention that Dad took me to. She was very kind to me.