In reply to:

"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left cleveland at 6:30 pm travelling at 55mph, the other from topeka at 4:19pm at 35mph."

Now a lot of those analogies are stupid, but that one about the trains is witty. It's a joke that any high school math student would appreciate.