You-all, I do want this back-and-forthing on behavior to stop. As I re-read that, I thought, "How censorious that sounds". But I have to say that it is my opinion that doing it in public, at this time, is a real risk to the health of the board.

As for private communications--I offer a suggestion. "I-messages" are a pretty effective way of communicating. You start by making a factual, non-judgmental statement, such as "I believe you are wrong". That is followed by an explanation or effect, again non-judgmental, such as, "The way I learned it was...". Another example: "I like your posts because they are so informative". An example of a non-effective type of I-message would be, "I think you're wrong, because you are a jerk". Equally ineffective would be, "I think all your posts are wonderful because you are a wonderful person". No logic!

I must be away for most of today--a relative is having surgery. My first thought was to post this and then close the thread with a note saying I'd see what had happened when I was able to get back. And in fact, I DID close the other thread--and then re-opened it, after thinking, "Wait a minute. These are adults. Caring and responsible adults. I can trust them to use their own judgment."

I am now appealing directly to that caring and good judgment. Please stop, for now, the did too/did nots about one another's behavior. I am getting the feeling that it is pushing the board towards the brink of potential disaster. An administrator can close all the threads she wants, or do this or do that; but that is only an artificial stop-gap. I do not think it would be fair to call for "forgive and forget". But I AM asking for everyone--everyone--to let it drop out of public view for now. I realize that not everyone has said everything they would like to say. But if this kind of posting continues until that has been accomplished, I fear it will be the death of this place--which is why I am not addressing any issues concerning individuals here. Just as in the rest of our lives, not everything here is going to have a satisfactory resolution.

I ask you all to contribute towards a natural regaining of health of our beloved board--even if only by refraining from picking at the wounds.

Well, you all got a look at my thought processes. Guess what? I don't have instant, perfect solutions!