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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 16
stranger
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OP
stranger
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 16 |
I don't know whether this has been discussed before -
Now that the Ms. title has been accepted - is it time for a word that is a combination of Mr. and Ms. which could be used for either sexes. Often when there is a name from which the sex of the person cannot be determined those of the offices dump a Mr. in front of the name, even if it might be a woman. In such cases a neutral word of address would help.
Is there already such a word and if not - are their any suggestions?.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
A common form of address seems to be to leave it out altogether. People are frequently listed as David Smith, or just D Smith. I do some medical work using a computer system that requires that a title be used. The problem is that frequently the letters that arrive requesting medical appointments seem to skip the title and hospital notes seem not to show them. I think that the public services got tired of having to correct the titles all the time that they decided to skip them to save time. I'm inclined to change my system to match, although I'm sure that to the older generation in particular it sounds rather rude.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055 |
> Are their any suggestions?. Ladyboy 
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Grant everyone honourary PhDs - then everyone can have the gender-free title of Doctor! 
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
For what it's worth ... if there is no title - Dr. or Rev. etc. - or designations - Mr, Mrs, Ms - I use the whole name.
Example : Dear D. Smith - or - Dear David Smith.
So far no complaints.
The rules of address are so complicated - (and there are a few of us left who do remember them !) - that I have opted for the simplest way when the status and/or gender of the person is unknown to me - as above.
You also noted : I'm inclined to change my system to match, although I'm sure ...the older generation ... think .. it ..rather rude.
As one of the older generation I have sighed and accepted it as part of the changing times
.. but ..
what I do find rude is when someone I do not know addresses me by my first name without first asking my permission to do so!
Now, how's that for being a stuffy old phart?
Doesn't it annoy you when you are on the phone and you know the person calling must have your full name in front of him/her and they decide arbitrarily to call you by your first name? Is it so hard for them to ask a woman "Do you prefer Ms, Miss or Mrs?" If Mrs Jones is a Doctor, she will either say so or go with one of the ordinary forms of address.
When you get an answer specifyiing the choice then you say, "Certainly (Ms, Mrs. Miss, Doctor, Reverend, etc). Thank you." and proceed!
Whippersnappers,didn't their mother's teach them any manners or were they born in a barn? mumble mumble mumble .... Not you, dear Drow, those anomymous callers !....and by the way -- WELCOME!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
what I do find rude is when someone I do not know addresses me by my first name without first asking my permission to do so!
Now, how's that for being a stuffy old phart?
Now, this is going back over 35 years, when I was actually interested in etiquette, but, if the Emily Post part of my brain still has anything left there, I remember reading that once you're over 40, you can address people by their first names. I could have an error in what I remember having read, but that's how the "rule" has remained fixed in my head, one that I found impossible to follow once reaching 40. Mr. Wallack, my beloved strings teacher, I called Mr. Wallack though I was 50 even though he kept saying, "Call me Norman!!"
Bowing regards,
Wordwind
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Just out of curiousity (since I do not expect to be there to find out personally  ): at W'za, will folks be calling each other by their board-names or by their real-life names? [would heads swivel every time some one says "dave" -e]
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688
addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688 |
Good question, Keiva! I know of at least one other "Kim" and I have no idea for sure, but I would expect her to be there. Of course, you can all call me "Angel" if you are so inclined. I am used to responding to it in person, on the phone, or online. Should be fun to see how many share a common first name!
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 184
member
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member
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
I was taught to address my elders by Mr or Mrs but that is getting harder to do as I grow elder (sic.) myself. I mean, when I was 12, a fifty year old would be called Mr or Mrs but now, a fifty year old is only ten years older than me.  . At this stage, I've noticed I have a twenty-year span to the Mr or Mrs use. I do use Mr when being first introduced to someone of note (eg. the president of a company) then switch to first name basis as appropriate. As to myself... I don't usually bristle when somebody who I've been introduced to calls me by my first name. I do bristle if some sales person who I don't know calls me on the phone and does so. Mind you, I bristle at any call from a sales person. Oh well, never mind
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