WARNING: Politically Incorrect I just now received an e-mail that fits well under this subject -- and is an equal-opportunity slammer.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a babe or a chick - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a screamer or moaner - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not easy - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not dumb - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not been around - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an airhead - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get drunk or tipsy - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She is not horny - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
9. She does not have breast implants - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
10. She does not nag you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
11. She is not a slut - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
12. She does not have major league hooters - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
13. She is not a two-bit whore - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1. He does not have a beer gut - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a bad dancer - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not get lost all the time - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not balding - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a cradle robber - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
6. He does not get falling-down drunk - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a total ass - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a male chauvinist pig - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
