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Another popular real estate euphemism: "a fixer-upper"
There are endless euphemisms for genitalia and for the sexual act, too (I notice most posting here have been too delicate to bring these up - of course I feel no such scruples, but y'all knew that already and I might as well go ahead, being in hot water already as I am, an' all, an' all). My fave listing of the male genitalia's euphemisms (and yet, only some of them - there are LOTS) is Monty Python's The Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song):
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick!
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back. (thank you very much)
(Personally, if I had one of my own, that's what I'd do with it - wrap it up in ribbons and slip it in my sock. Man, I'd just stay home and play with it all day. How do men ever get anything done?!)
Female-genitalia-wise, I just have a li'l story: I was in the "comfort station" (this is, after all, a thread about euphemisms!) of a campground in Broome, Western Australia, when I met a fellow Canuck who was on tour with the same company I was travelling with, but going in the opposite direction. We got chatting about the people on our buses and how congenial they were, and she told me they had a young Korean girl on their bus who got drunk very quickly and easily and always got loud and amusing when inebriated. "The other day," she said, "she was asking us to tell her all the English slang for vagina....We came up with quite a list." I said, "I hope you remembered the good ol' Canadian one," and she said, "Yes, the c-word came up." I said, "No, I meant BEAVER!" and she was extremely aghast to realise that she had missed that one. Huh. And she called herself a Canadian.
As far as euphemisms for sex go, my personal favourite is good ol' Shakes's contribution: making the beast with two backs.
Step saver ranch
Er, um, pardon my ... whatever ... but, what is this a euphemism for? We don't got no ranches in Oz...
Hev
I'm guessing "step-saver" means "small" - but I'm not guessing about "ranch" - I know for sure you would know it as a "station."
(I am going to change my handle to globalmodestgoddess)
Step saver ranch
Er, um, pardon my ... whatever ... but, what is this a euphemism for? We don't got no ranches in Oz...
A ranch is simply a one-floor house...no upstairs. The step saver part is the euphemism for small!
parm me - posted same time as Angel....!
and just realised, as I clicked "continue," that "ranch" also refers to what she said.
slightlylessthanworldlymodestgoddess
I am going to change my handle to globalmodestgoddess)
Oh no, modestgoddess, I think that may be a little too much responsibility for one goddess. Besides, we got our own goddesses in Oz!Ahem...
Hev
Hey I've been paying special attention at work today (err, well, special attention to words, not to work per se). I've noticed there's a hell of a lot of euphemisms here:
Job title: Relationship Capture (translation: sales)
Re-deployment (translation: move an unwanted person to another department rather than have to go through the process of three-warnings-sacking)
Any other business ones? (I know there's lots...)
Hev
I would think that step saver ranch would be drawing attention to the fact that you wouldn't have to run up and down stairs to "water the grass". [legs weary from two flights of stairs at work and one at home-e]
OP Dear connie: Anybody who minds stairs is not hearing a health alert - they need more exercise. If you don't have time for sports, make yourself use the stairs.
the male genitalia's euphemisms
modgod, that is (again) a game that two can play -- sauce for the gander is sauce for the saucy goose.
Since you've been listing we masculinisms, how about a list of [*rimshot*] you-feminisms?
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