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Truisms
1) A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.
2) What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway!)
3) A backward poet writes inverse.
4) In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
5) A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
6) If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
7) With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8) Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
9) When a clock is hungry it goes back for seconds.
10) The man fell into an upholstery machine...he's fully recovered.
11) A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
12) You feel stuck to your debt if you cant budge it.
13) Every calendar's days are numbered.
14) A lot of money is tainted. T'aint yours and t'aint mine.
15) A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
16) He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
17) A plateau is a high form of flattery.
18) The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19) Those who are too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
20) Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
21) Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
22) Bakers trade bread secrets on a knead to know basis.
23) Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
24) Acupuncture is a jab well done.
25) Marathon runners with bad footwear will suffer the agony of defeat.
No, bakers trade bread secrets on a knead to dough basis.
[Being the great-grandson of a baker; I am deeply in-bred.]
Lance and Wain laughed and told the king they intended to travel without any entourage, but the King informed them they had to take at least one squire, since never would any of his knights demean Camelot by traveling without at least one servant.
Off went the two knights and the squire, and several days later they were in the midst of a dark and forbidding forest (no one ever told me what the forest was forbidding, but I'm working on that aspect.) The three of them were quite hungry, and matters were made worse when a sudden thunderstorm blew in. We don't think about this very often today, but a suit of armor is not one of those places you choose to be when the lightning starts.
They finally found an old castle, and hurried themselves yon to seek shelter. The door was opened by a very old and ugly crone who told them they could have shelter, food, and warmth provided that one of them would spend the night making love to her.
Lancelot and Gawain went into a huddle, where they discussed how much this was against their code of chivalry, not to mention the fact that it wasn't a very palatable idea anyway. Finally, Lancelot said to Gawain, "We must get into the castle. Promise her anything but give her our page."
TEd
TEd
stales
Parm my beg to difermints. If you stand in front of the moving car you first get tired, but then, after you are no longer in front of the car, you get exhausted, too. The worst of both possible worlds.
One is love; two is adventure; three is promiscuity; four or more is research.
Hey, ModGod, can I help you research harems?
Did I miss something here, or are you waiting for an invitation to tell the joke? If it is the former, PM me...the latter, consider this the invite!
ABSOLUTELY! Take a number....[wicked grin-e]
What do you call an ugly old crone on-the-make? A troll-op.
Moderated by Jackie
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