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#61278
03/15/2002 11:18 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
I have just received this, and have to share it with you!
Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as “Squawks”, recently submitted by QANTAS aircraft pilots to maintenance engineers.
After attending to the Squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to resolve them...
(P = Problem logged by the pilot.
S = Solution and action taken by the engineers.)
P - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S - No. 2 propeller seepage normal - Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P - Something loose in cockpit.
S - Something tightened in cockpit.
P - Dead bugs on windshield.
S - Live bugs on backorder.
P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S - Evidence removed.
P - DME volume unbelievably loud.
S - Volume set to more believable level.
P - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S - That’s what they are there for!
P - IFF inoperative.
S - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P - Suspected crack in windscreen.
S - Suspicion correct.
P - Number 3 engine missing.
S - Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P - Aircraft handles funny.
S - Aircraft warned to “ Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious. “
P - Target radar hums.
S - Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P - Mouse in cockpit.
S - Cat installed.
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#61279
03/15/2002 12:26 PM
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688
addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688 |
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#61280
03/15/2002 1:41 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322 |
it may have been a repeat, but it sure was funny! as was the original thread - nice start to my Friday
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#61281
03/15/2002 2:38 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
I'm glad I wasn't on the flight when pilot used "autoland" on a plane not equipped with it.
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#61282
03/15/2002 2:58 PM
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
...and as CK pointed out last time, this falls into the category of airborne myth. http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/
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#61283
03/15/2002 3:51 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Thanks, Rhuby!! It's so funny it bears repeating, even though it apparently [treading lightly] has been debunked. I know you were away for a while and couldn't catch up on all the posts, and I'm glad you thought to share it with us, knowing how we (if I may speak for most of us) enjoy such thangs. Notherwise we wouldn't still be spending time here  .
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#61284
03/15/2002 10:04 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Good on yer, Anna! Far as I'm concerned, my sweet Rhuby can do whatever he wants to.
Speaking of things Oz-ian: special to stales
Marty finally responded to my telling him he's missed. His place of work went through a pretty hairy time, and now he has almost more than he can do. But he misses us, too. He didn't comment whether he might be back.
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#61285
03/17/2002 12:56 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 866
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 866 |
Thanks for the Marty update Jackie. Please say hi to him for me and let him know I'll be in Melbourne for a week or two in July - perhaps we could get together for a lager?
stales
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