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Joined: Jan 2001
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771
Just got this by email, and I thought you might enjoy some of these ~ Sparteye, you'll love #22!

Best Verified Newspaper Headlines of the Year...

1.) Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
2.) Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3.) Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4.) Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5.) Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6.) Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
7.) Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
8.) Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9.) British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
10.) Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
11.) Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
12.) Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
13.) Miners Refuse to Work After Death
14.) Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
15.) Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16.) Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
17.) War Dims Hope for Peace
18.) If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19.) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
20.) Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
21.) New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
22.) Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
23.) Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
24.) Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
25.) Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead



Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 96
D
journeyman
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journeyman
D
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Posts: 96
My personal favourite is a soccer headline, Celtic the most powerful and rich soccer team in Scotland were knocked out of the cup by a bunch of amateurs called: Inverness Caledonian Thistle, known as "cally" the headline?

SUPER CALLY GO BALLISTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS !

the Duncster


the Duncster
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,613
Oh, F-babe, I have tears streaming! Oh, man! These are great!

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Reckon they'd better become jayrunners, then.
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Good heavens, I took this literally for a minute!
Miners Refuse to Work After Death Should have had DND on their headstones instead of RIP.
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Apparently detention didn't work.
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge Gee, will he use his bare hands?
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group I volunteer.
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Only the vegetarian ones.
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Yow--talk about incentive for staying in school!
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Well...duh!


Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
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addict
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R
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
I saw two great headlines when I live in London in the late '80s. One was about a library strike in a small town calle Onger. It read:

BOOK LACK IN ONGER

The other (a bit more dubious) was about an unsuccessful assassination attempt on Paul McCartney. It read:

TOP POP MOP-TOP POT-SHOT PLOT FLOPS!


Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
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wow Offline
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W
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Posts: 3,439
Read these posts yesterday and today and cannot stop laughing ... since I am an Aquarian #6 had me rolling on the floor! Hilarious!!
Ah well, as Grandmother used to say : "A good laugh is as good as a good cry any day!"
I'm feeling *much better now!


Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
K
Carpal Tunnel
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K
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Supermarket-tabloid headline: "BIN LADEN'S WILD NIGHT WITH A GOAT."
Outraged protest has been registered by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.




Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
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M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
I used to work at a newspaper, and one of the reporters told me about a rather unfortunate typo in the headline to a story of hers about how upset parents and others were at the notion of the school board putting condom machines in the washrooms of the town's schools:

CONDOM DEBATE RAISES PUBIC OUTCRY


Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 4,189
Our local weekly had this heading on a story a couple of weeks back:

LOCAL POLICE, RESCUE RECEIVE JOINT TRAINING

Let's see...first, you screen out the tops and seeds...then you take the rolling paper...


Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 3,146
Once when I was in the printing side of the newspaper industry, I set a late caption for a picture of an RNZAF aircraft (when the air force still had aircraft) assisting a yacht in trouble in the Taranaki Bight (nice bit of cross-threading there, CK!). Right in the middle of Page 1. The caption I set read:

"An RNZAF Orion drops farts to the crew of the foundering yacht."

Guess which word I transposed the letters in?

This occasioned a rather fraught trip to the MDs office to explain myself ...



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Posts: 2,204
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Pooh-Bah
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Now, had the yacht been becalmed - - -


(reminds me of the verse which starts:
"The Second Mate's name was Carter, ..."



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