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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Heard a new one today ... Face like a fried egg.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688
addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688 |
"He was sooooooo ugly, we had ta tie a pork chop around his neck, just ta git the dog ta play with him!" As spoken by my former mother-in-law describing my first husband as a baby.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 96
journeyman
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journeyman
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 96 |
If brains were dynamite you couldnt blow off your cap
He has'nt got two braincells to rub together
the Duncster
the Duncster
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Crossing threads slightly, I have heard it said that, "s/he has a face like a bent bucket."
Would that make the person so described, a "pail-face?"
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
Old joke:
"Is your face hurting you?"
"No."
"Well, it's killin' me!" (hahahahaha!)
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328 |
Another old joke (at least at my house)
Me: I'm hungry.
My dad: Look in the mirror-- you'll get fed up real fast!
Me: <groan>
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 544
addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 544 |
Another bit about stupidity that I've always favored (and that I fear I've posted some time in the distant past): "Too stupid to pour piss out of a boot," or, slightly unwieldy but even more damning: "Too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel."
At the risk of entering the political realm, I'll repeat something I know I've posted before, said about our beloved Prez by a fellow Texan: "If ignorance ever hits $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on that man's head."
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
This just in, by e-mail. Not up to our usual standards, but worth quoting.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Receiver is off the hook.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
24 cents short of a quarter.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
A few fries short of a 'Happy Meal'! (credit 'satin' with this one)
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 96
journeyman
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journeyman
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 96 |
Three bob short upstairs
a sandwich short of a picnic
not playing with a full deck
thick as two short planks
the Duncster
the Duncster
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