#57804
02/20/2002 2:27 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
As i was trudging my way
To my home yesterday
each step i took
a new word it shook
till a limerick before, it lay
As keen as a blade
the words were out laid
i won't post them here,
more ranker i fear
Something are best left unsaid
But a challenge i post
To see, who the most
two pair
and spare
of Rhymes can boast
So lets put it to the test
and see, who's the best
quick as a wink
lay down some ink
limericks, please, by request!
As for our theme or subject,
to such a limit i would object
but wit and fun
for all and one
harsh words, though, i'd reject.
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#57805
02/20/2002 2:40 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
A New Yorker ayleur, O'Troy Said a challenge, to her, was deep joy. So she wrote out some verse, Challenged us to do worse On a subject that we most enjoy Now, as I'm in a fair rhyming mood Which subject would you-all think good? Washing pigs, I could pick - it Beats baseball or cricket! (But Helen would like one on Food!) 
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#57806
02/20/2002 3:12 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Not today, my warrior Red
Its colors that swirl in my head
chromatic hues
reds, yellows, and blues,
Rainbows before me are spread!
I posted a Word Master, dear
my ruberic words to him clear
I asked if he could
not help me with wode,
but a wiggling worm to make clear.
These posts are with out theme
So long as they follow a scheme
but with plans of crimson
i hope to win some,
it's of AWAD fame i do dream!
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#57807
02/20/2002 4:40 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
Fair Helen has called us to alms
(Of the kind that calms angst with new balms)
You think you’re a poet?
Want others to knowit?
Post limericks here in her arms!
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#57808
02/20/2002 4:42 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
"i hope to win some"
Dear Helen (her meaning is plain)
Went a-search for a gent, in the rain.
And said with a sigh,
"I wonder when Igh
Will be seeing a rain-beau again."
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#57809
02/20/2002 4:43 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
In a rapid riposte to her call
Young Hilary’s quick on the ball;
Like a chattering fax
Came the news: “Rhuby wacks”
But it’s pride that pre-cursors a fall!
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#57810
02/20/2002 4:53 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Alone each limerick can stand
but together i have forced them to band
A creative juice
is running loose
and limericks spring from my hand.
Maybe it's the return of the sun
but i can't seem to stop, once begun
couplets i parry
of my sanity, i'm wary
But of the crazies, you always knew, i was one!
Who else will take on the chore?
Of limericks, i have plenty in store!
I'd do a haiku
if i knew, how to,
Though Spam isn't a theme i adore.
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#57811
02/20/2002 5:17 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Limericks are just an aside
as in the dictionary i now abide
paving the way
for a word of day
five times, a theme, to decide!
Jazzopus posted a thread
the idea of it went to my head!
A theme of week
5 words I seek
But you know that, if my limericks, you've read
I must be going insane
the proof is really quite plain!
for every limerick i see,
i write three!
since i am posting in rhyme, in the main.
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#57812
02/20/2002 5:52 PM
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
A lass with impeccable diction,
rhymed words to her readers' affliction
but they flustered sententious
- her language licentious
caused sailors to blush in contrition.
k
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#57813
02/20/2002 6:08 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
There once was a lady of Troy
Whose ruby brought envy and joy,
But a maverick trick
By the Jester of Wick
Made her gem take a trip, she's annoyed!
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#57814
02/20/2002 6:18 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
A young oceanographer, Bean, Was sick of computing the mean Veloc'ty of fish, Her brain just went squish, To spend time aBoard, she was keen! (This chair is now hurting her spleen!)
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#57815
02/20/2002 6:45 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,070 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,070 Likes: 2 |
from Tom Lehrer's Irish Ballad:
...One day when she had nothing to do
Rikkety tikkety tin
One day when she had nothing to do
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew
And invited the neighbors in...
(as close as I could come to Limerick stew -- that's what this thread is about, right?)
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#57816
02/20/2002 6:48 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
What wrong with me, i haven't clue
maybe my brain is missing some glue
logic is undone
nonsense has sprung,
but for fun, this board, is long over due!
Come hear my clarion call,
come one, come two, come all
put your hat in the ring
a limerick's the thing,
We'll end weary ways and have a ball!
Stop me, somebody please!
Give my poor fingers some ease
post, fast as can be
try to out pace me!
til no more limericks out, can i squeeze!
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#57817
02/20/2002 7:10 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
Our helen is losing her mind,
She really needs time to unwind,
To forget all her stress,
She should put on a dress,
And spend time with someone who's kind. (?!?!?!)
(Well, it rhymed. There was no requirement about making sense.)
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#57818
02/20/2002 7:12 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
My cat, call her Fru-Fru, she's grey,
And furry and sleeps all the day,
At home she awaits me,
For ham she does bait me,
And in the warm sun she doth lay.
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#57819
02/20/2002 7:14 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Limericks are easy as A, B, C
Lines 1, 2, 5 rhyme A, 3 and 4 rhyme B
move the lines about..
a limerick will out.
For editing, I hope you will not mind me!
One day when she had nothing to do
She cut her baby brother in two
Rikkety tikkety tin
the neighbors came in.
And she served him up as an fine Irish stew.
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#57820
02/20/2002 7:15 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
Atop of my screen sits a bear,
Naked, without underwear,
We all call him Pooh,
To Piglet he's true,
And honey's the chief of his cares.
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#57821
02/20/2002 7:17 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
Soon to my home I will go, To sup with my darling, ho ho! And watch some TV, To keep my mind free For tomorrow more work I must show. Ciao all! Until tomorrow...
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#57822
02/20/2002 7:31 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
My dear Helen, please do not stop
These limericks, right off the top
Of your fast-rhyming head.
They're as good as new bread!
Long way to go 'fore you're de trop
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#57823
02/20/2002 7:46 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322 |
I'm still a bit of a stranger
But in this game there's no danger
I'll do my bit here
Though old friends may well fear,
"That Board is fun, but will it change her?"
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#57824
02/20/2002 8:25 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Don Marquis [hi, archie!] classified limericks as:
"$1 Limericks": Those that can be told in the company of ladies (in the 1920's).
"$2 Limericks": Those that can be told in the company of a parson.
"$10 Limericks": Real limericks.
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#57825
02/20/2002 8:32 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Limericks new , Limericks old
be they wimpy, or be they bold
Steal a line from E. Lear,
He's an expert, i hear
For limericks, the best, i 've been told!
An invitaion I've just read
Invites me to fill up this thread!
with a risque post
or a gentle boast
or a quips that shows I'm well read!
Come awad'er's lend me your ears
Soon, You'll rolling in laughter, with tears,
or a wink or a grin
let the fun now begin,
will it get ribald soon? i have fears!
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#57826
02/20/2002 8:37 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
A gracious welcome and good day
I hope boronia that you'll stay
changed you will be
For the better, you'll see
Vocabuary improved--by word play!
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#57827
02/20/2002 9:16 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
There was a pig farmer near Aukland
Who mixed fruit with his pork more than often,
"A kiwi a day
Keeps the doctor away!"
Was the capital claim he was hawkin'!
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#57828
02/20/2002 9:22 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
21 limericks today
fell out of my brain, in word play
day is done
end of fun
but everyone else is welcome to stay!
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#57829
02/20/2002 9:28 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322 |
Thank you kindly, Lady of Troy
For your welcome unalloy(ed)
Oops, I've just cheated
And rhyme I've defeated
Truly hope that it doesn't annoy!
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#57830
02/20/2002 10:16 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Truly hope that it doesn't annoy!
Have no fear of that, lady boronia!
Everyone here is adorin' the
Charm, wit and grace
That you bring to our space.
(Kindly help me concoct one rhyme more on ya?)
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#57831
02/20/2002 11:45 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
New york's water is quite pure
of this, i am reasonable sure
but some intoxicating potion
has given me a notion
so limerick after limerick you must endure
i like to date good looking men
one will ask me out now and then
but i generally find
it's the men who are blind
who ask me out, again and again.
you'd think exhastion would set in
and of limericks i'd be running thin
but each new one i post
encourages a host
of others i want to begin!
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#57832
02/21/2002 12:21 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
the men who are blindThere's a lining of silver, I'd say, If your love life is as you portray. Don't you commonly find Dating men who are blind You can easily lead them -- astray?  Don't focus on the negativity. Instead, note their high susceptivity. They have far fewer chances To repel advances For whatever may be your proclivity.
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#57833
02/21/2002 1:54 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
The fever continues unabated
I fear i will be generaly hated
a dozen plus, Twice
Limericks! Not nice
Is the end to which i am fated?
If Limericks are fated to stay
then there is only one thing i have to say
An agape like this
could be a word lovers bliss!
i am The Queen of fun and wordplay
Awader's get out your tomes
books of science, music and poems
dig out a word,
we've never seen or heard
and about words let us be bon homies!
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#57834
02/21/2002 3:54 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
Today there are clouds in the sky,
You probably want to know why,
It's always that way
On a typical day
In St. John's, so no reason to cry!
It's not quite as cold as before,
The cat tries to run out the door,
The snow starts to melt,
Some respite is felt
By those who use shovels galore!
But beware for a flurry may rise,
And the wind will whip snow in your eyes,
And roof it will creak,
And the windows may leak,
And the snowbanks will increase in size.
But under the snow there await
Some tulip bulbs, dafffodils - great!
Eventually Spring
Her warmth she will bring,
And the sun will stay out until late!
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#57835
02/21/2002 4:26 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Here's to Maverick and to Rhu
My hats off to all of you,
with The Fiend and Whit,
you've done your bit,
and shown your colours true!
But when it come to putting on the ritz,
Its Bean, who has given us the blitz
with fishes and squishes
She's answered my wishes
her brain too, must be on the fritz!
Must i name every one in limerick to see
if they will try to keep up posts, with me?
well keep open an eye
for naming, I'll try!
these limericks can go on endlessly!
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#57836
02/21/2002 4:43 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
X rated
There was a young dentist named Sloane
Who catered to ladies alone.
In a fit of depravity
He filled the wrong cavity,
And my! how his business has grown.
Helen made me do it! (running from gutter police)
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#57837
02/21/2002 5:01 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
And where could the doctors all be?
They are certainly not helping me!
i am really quite ill
Come quick--Dr bill
Tell me, is there cure for limerickosy?
i'll leave poor doc comfort to sleep
He's up south, and over the deep
so far far away
he's in next day
so his comfort, it will have to keep.
come shaman and healer or quacks
with potions, feathers or wax
with mystic fire
quell my desire
is it a simple cure, that i ax!
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#57838
02/21/2002 5:09 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
The puck will be dropped on this night, To win we must put up a fight, For Canada I'll cheer, "Go, girls, have no fear!" And I hope a gold medal's in sight! Good luck to both CANADA and USA!!!!! May the best women win!
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#57839
02/21/2002 5:09 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
X-rated, in response to wow above. (This is not original, and is posted only because it links to our llama and ovine threads.)
An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
Said "There is one thing that I do know"
"A woman is fine"
"And a sheep is divine"
"But a llama is numero uno!"
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#57840
02/21/2002 5:23 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Come Stranger, Newbie, Old Hand
And Addict--You, too, i demand
All together, i know
to me you're no Foe
Even united, against me, you can't stand
Send me your words, the hardest you know
blovate, anacampserote, or Golden Ratio
gobsmacked, i might be
but soon, you'll see
That limerick and rhyme, time after time, i know how to make them tow!
When it comes to limericks, i reign over all
For so few have answered my call
by PM and post
before i did boast
I begged, and pleaded, my words went unheaded, so now you are in my enthall!
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#57841
02/21/2002 5:46 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
This thread is moving full swing
and soon, some posters are libel to bring,
a wink or blush,
Please there's no rush.
But X rated posts are just the thing!
The ladies of Awad you'll find
to ambivient posts are inclined
pure as the snow
blithly we go
its others, you see, never me, who have a dirty mind
Do you remember the musical Hair?
Oh, the words i first heard there!
I blushed -I recall,
but found them all!
On Dictionary's bound, these words should be found, Readers, beware!
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#57842
02/21/2002 6:09 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose right foot got caught in a bucket
on his way to the dance.
To remove he did prance,
yet still stuck, with crowbar his wife plucked it.
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#57843
02/21/2002 6:19 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
I have a sweet friend from New York
Who enjoys pulling more than the cork ~
When she's out on the razzle
Her smile's fit to dazzle
And her favourite taste is long pork!
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