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#53028
01/18/2002 7:42 AM
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Joined:  Mar 2001 Posts: 4,189 Carpal Tunnel |  
|   Carpal Tunnel Joined:  Mar 2001 Posts: 4,189 | 
Lets see what Ogden Nash has to say:AND THREE-HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX IN LEAP YEAR
 
 Some people shave before bathing,
 And about people who bathe before shaving they are scathing,
 While those who bathe before shaving,
 Well, they imply that those who shave before bathing are
 misbehaving.
 Suppose you shave before bathing, well the advantage is that
 you don't have to make a special job of washing the
 lather off afterwards, it just floats off with the rest of
 your accumulations in the tub,
 But the disadvantage is that before bathing your skin is hard
 and dry and your beard confronts the razor like a grizzly
 bear defends its cub.
 Well then, suppose you bathe before shaving, well the
 advantage is that after bathing your skin is soft and moist,
 and your beard positively begs for the blade,
 But the disadvantage is that to get the lather off you have to
 wash your face all over again at the basin almost immediately
 after washing it in the tub, which is a duplication of effort that
 leaves me spotless but dismayed.
 The referee reports, gentlemen, that Fate has loaded the dice,
 Since your only choice is between walking around all day
 with a sore chin or washing your face twice.
 
 Ogden Nash
 
 
 IF FUN IS FUN, ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?
 
 Child, the temptation please resist
 To deify the humorist.
 Simply because we're stuck with solons
 Whose minds resemble lazy colons,
 Do not assume our current jesters
 Are therefore Solomons and Nestors.
 Because the editorial column
 Is ponderously trite and solemn
 Don't think the wisdom of the ages
 Awaits you in the comic pages.
 There is no proof that Plato's brain
 Weighed less than that of Swift or Twain.
 If funny men are sometimes right
 It's second guessing, not second sight;
 They apply their caustic common sense
 After, and not before, events.
 Since human nature's a fait accompli
 They puncture it regularly and promptly.
 Some are sophisticates, some earthy,
 And none are totally trustworthy;
 They'll sell their birthright every time
 To make a point or turn a rhyme.
 This motto, child, is my bequest:
 There's many a false word spoken in jest.
 
 Ogden Nash
 
 LOVE UNDER THE REPUBLICANS (OR DEMOCRATS)
 
 Come live with me and be my love
 And we will all the pleasure prove
 Of a marriage conducted with economy
 In the Twentieth Century Anno Donomy.
 We'll live in a dear little walk-up flat
 With practically room to swing a cat
 And a potted cactus to give it hauteur
 And a bathtub equipped with dark brown water.
 We'll eat, without undue discouragement,
 Foods low in cost but high in nourishment
 And quaff with pleasure, while chatting wittily,
 The peculiar wine of Little Italy.
 We'll remind each other it's smart to be thrifty
 And buy our clothes for something-fifty.
 We'll stand in line on holidays
 For seats at unpopular matinees,
 And every Sunday we'l have a lark
 And take a walk in Central Park.
 And one of these days not too remote
 I'll probably up and cut your throat.
 
 Ogden Nash
 All poems © 1952 by Ogden Nash
 Cheers!   |  |  |  
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| Entire Thread |  
 
|    Bushwhacked | consuelo | 01/15/2002 11:20 PM |  
|    Re:Spinning wheel must go 'round... | WhitmanO'Neill | 01/16/2002 1:00 AM |  
|    Re: We can go round and round on this. | Keiva | 01/16/2002 1:37 AM |  
|    Re: We can go round and round on this. | WhitmanO'Neill | 01/16/2002 2:11 AM |  
|    Re: We can go round and round on this. | Capital Kiwi | 01/16/2002 6:43 AM |  
|    Re: We can go round and round on this. | consuelo | 01/16/2002 11:04 AM |  
|    Choked on a pretzel, huh? | wsieber | 01/16/2002 12:54 PM |  
|    Re: Choked on a pretzel, huh? | Capital Kiwi | 01/16/2002 4:01 PM |  
|    Re:Spinning wheel must go 'round... | stales | 01/16/2002 4:10 PM |  
|    Re: cheap shots | Keiva | 01/16/2002 4:47 PM |  
|    Re: cheap shots | Capital Kiwi | 01/16/2002 7:18 PM |  
|    Re: cheap shots | Keiva | 01/17/2002 10:23 PM |  
|    . | Max Quordlepleen | 01/17/2002 10:57 PM |  
|    Re: cheap shots vs. sharp satire | Keiva | 01/18/2002 3:49 AM |  
|    . | Max Quordlepleen | 01/18/2002 5:03 AM |  
|    Re: It was only a joke, after all | WhitmanO'Neill | 01/18/2002 7:42 AM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | Keiva | 01/18/2002 6:22 PM |  
|    Guide to Safe Pretzel Eating | AnnaStrophic | 01/18/2002 6:55 PM |  
|    Re: Sanctimony | WhitmanO'Neill | 01/18/2002 7:26 PM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | Faldage | 01/18/2002 7:57 PM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | Chemeng1992 | 01/18/2002 9:36 PM |  
|    . | Max Quordlepleen | 01/18/2002 9:39 PM |  
|    . | Max Quordlepleen | 01/18/2002 9:47 PM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | Keiva | 01/18/2002 10:03 PM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | Capital Kiwi | 01/18/2002 10:24 PM |  
|    Re: papel humor | Keiva | 01/18/2002 10:45 PM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | wofahulicodoc | 01/19/2002 1:01 AM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | Capital Kiwi | 01/19/2002 4:56 AM |  
|    Re: Coming in late to the thread | wow | 01/19/2002 1:35 PM |  
|    Re: "It was only a joke, after all"? | of troy | 01/20/2002 5:31 PM |  
|    Re: Exhibit "A" | WhitmanO'Neill | 01/20/2002 7:10 PM |  
|    bushwhacked | consuelo | 01/18/2002 10:05 PM |  
|    Re: bushwhacked | AnnaStrophic | 01/18/2002 10:23 PM |  
|    Re: bushwhacked | Jazzoctopus | 01/20/2002 2:42 AM |  
|    Re: bushwhacked | Capital Kiwi | 01/20/2002 7:29 AM |  
|    Re: cheap shots vs. sharp satire | Faldage | 01/18/2002 12:42 PM |  |  | 
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