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In my Internet wanderings I discovered the following page, which has a lot of information about Australian culture and language: http://www.australianbeers.com/ I ran it by stales, since he actually lives there, and he says it's "a gem of a site" so I gather that it has his seal of approval! So if any of you Northern Hemisphere types have been wondering more about life in Australia, or better yet, assuming that it's just like North America, but with the seasons reversed, have a look. It's a good way to spend an afternoon! 
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When asked what he thought of Western Civilzation, M. K. Gandhi replied, "It would be a good idea."
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And here was I thinking Bean was starting a new thread on oxymorons.But she was, Max. Note her link: www.australian beers.com 
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What's oxymoronic about Aussie beer? The bludgin' bastards've gotta be good at somethin'. Even if all their bloody breweries are owned by the flamin' Kiwis. 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Details, details, you bloody Pig Islanders are full of them!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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What's oxymoronic about Aussie beer? How said there was anything oxymoronic about Aussie beer? Now "beer culture" ... that's something entirely different.
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Gentleman! (and I use the term loosely)Behave yourselves!
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oxymoronic ... "beer culture"
Hey, you think they use just any old yeast that comes along, like a bunch of Flems?
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I started another thread elsewhere on the topic, but here seems like a good fit... do you *really* have musk-flavored Life Savers in Australia? Not musk as in muskmelon, but musk as in muskrat.
I read it on the internet, so I don't know why I'm doubting the veracity of this claim. But the gag reflex is strong enough to make me ask.
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Fiberbabe - there's two potential paths here - and one of them I DEFINITELY don't want to go down on.
Yes we have musk flavoured Life Savers - the candy with the hole!
Musk is a very popular flavouring for sweets here and I am extremely surprised to think you'd be grossed out by it! Life without musk Life Savers or musksticks jest wouldn't be the same!!
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Taking the path less travelled...
And we have muskly Life Savers too.
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Musksticks... = incense? Well, it looks like nobody else is going to ask, so I will: you people have candy that tastes like sex??? Could I get a free sample?
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...you people have candy that tastes like sex??? How does one call the Gutter Police on the Gutter Police??
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How does one call the Gutter Police on the Gutter Police?? Hee, hee--I changed hats again!
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Gutter PoliceWe gone git Internal Affairs after you, Jackie  ! See do you think *that's funny.
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you people have candy that tastes like sex??? Could I get a free sampleHey...I'd be willin to pay for the stuff!  Did I hear the gutter police?
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you people have candy that tastes like sex???
I'll just remind you that I characterized it as "musk as in muskrat", not "musk as in Muskrat Love". [one eyebrow up-e]
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Does anyone know if they actually have muskrats in Australia? I get the idea that they were a North American phenomenon, and introduced in Europe and Asia... [confused]
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No they don't. They have dirty rats and these are likely to be musky ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I've got a feeling this is going to get worse before it gets better - but here goes....
Musksticks are pink, about six inches long - but about as thick as a biro. They have a star shaped cross section. On hot, humid days (or if a bit stale) they tend to be limp and melt in the mouth. On cold days (or when fresh) they are more stiff and crunchy.
I'm sitting here hearing peals of laughter from all over the world.
I simply cannot believe you guys don't have these things - I reckon they are eaten more often than chewing gum by Aussie kids.
Disbelievers please email me and I'll send a pic - just downloaded one. Pack of ~25 A$1.39 at the local supermarket!
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I simply cannot believe you guys don't have these things
Hence our bewilderment at the conjunction of the words Australian and culture.
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Musksticks are pink, about six inches long a little short, but we can manage... - but about as thick as a biro. and just how thick is that? somehow i suspect a biro has a diameter closer to a drinking straw rather than a cucumber... Drat!They have a star shaped cross section. could be interesting....  On hot, humid days (or if a bit stale) they tend to be limp and melt in the mouth. On cold days (or when fresh) they are more stiff and crunchy. Oh, i want a fresh one please! .... Pack of ~25 A$1.39 25 at once! Oh i feel like a kid again!
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Well, this thread has certainly gone South!!
~~~~~
post-edit: Ewwwww, I'm a Pooh-bah. Yuck.
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So what's wrong with being a Pooh Bear? He's cute and cuddly.
Congratulations and felicitations on attaining the peak.
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Helen says, i could go for a taste of aussie sex!
I had never considered that the aussie version might be unique. Precisely how does sex differ in the far antipodes, where people walk upside down? Are all positions reversed?
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Life without musk Life Savers or musksticks jest wouldn't be the same!!
Lemme get this straight here: you're saying that such flavor is marketed in both concave and convex forms?
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Okay-- just to clarify a biro--is it about the same diameter as the hole in a life saver?
~~~~~~~~~
Mental Note:
Plan trip to Aussie land soon..
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If they'd introduced musky Life Savers in the US, this probably wouldn't have had to happen: Kraft to Close Mich. Candy Plant
HOLLAND, Mich. (AP) - Kraft Foods Inc. says it will close its 35-year-old Life Savers plant here by fall 2003 in a move that will cost more than 600 jobs.... http:// http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/20020108/bs/life_savers_plant_1.html
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Oh, Stales..........
[pink]If you are coming to Wordapalooza, could you bring us some nice fresh musksticks, pretty please?[/pink]
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Disbelievers please email me and I'll send a pic - just downloaded one. Pack of ~25 A$1.39 at the local supermarket! Or try http://store4.yimg.com/I/evryaustralian_1666_66498120(that's an underline before and after the "1666" ) (Google is indeed a wondrous thing) And apparently there is also a separate commmodity called a musk stick, which is incense of the appropriate aroma. Not to be taken internally.
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I don't think I'm coming to Wordapolooza after all. It might compromise my personal safety ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I reckon they are eaten more often than chewing gum by Aussie kids.
But, what do they taste like??? Are they sweet? Are they sour? And kids eat these things? The picture I saw looks like licorice...pink, aussie, licorice. Am I seeing it right?
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They appeared to be sugar-coated to me. If so, and they're sour then they might be similar to Sour Patch Straws here in the US. Those are delicious.
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you people have candy that tastes like sex??? Could I get a free sample?Ohhhh, Jackie! You've gone and done it now! Help Wanted: Gutter Cop to patrol the AWADboards ever-so-quietly and keep risqué flamboyance from getting (ahem!) too out of hand! 'Cause as Adlai E. Stevenson once said: Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
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Not to be a killjoy by posing a serious question, but today's "Daily Almanac" in our local paper states that on this date in 1788, the first English settlers arrived in Australia's Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. Is that the correct date?...I always thought it was earlier than that, around the seventeen-aughts.
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Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a newspaper can always print a retraction. Reminds me of an old comic, showing a gal writing a letter and saying to her roomate, "I'm writing to mom. What's the past tense of 'virgin'?" [blush?]
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stales - I'm intrigued. At the equivalent of US$.71 a pack, what would the postage be like to send me some to try, and do you take PayPal? Particularly with ot's innuendo-riddled advocacy of a long stiff one on a hot day... sounds like it's worth a try. *Plus* it would make for a great book report for http://www.bad-candy.com.
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WO'N asks Is that the correct date?
Well, the year is right. I always thought the date was Jan 26, but I could be wrong. Oh for some patriotism in education.
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I'll just remind you that I characterized it as "musk as in muskrat"...Actually, upon further investigation, I have discovered that musk comes from the musk deer. musk, noun: a substance having a penetrating odor, obtained from a sac (musk bag) on the abdomen of the male musk deer 
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Dear All
stales and all his family continue to be amazed at your reaction to musksticks (it's really 2 words, but we say it as one - "musstix")
For those that want the first hand experience, there's a strong chance that belligerentyouth will be attending the Wordapalooza. As he's here in Perth it should be a cinch to give him some packets to take along. And some musk Life Savers! Will keep you informed.
There's another variety of musk sweet I haven't mentioned - and they're great because you buy them by the kilogram/pound at the local shops. They're sometimes marketed as "Life Saver holes" because they are little cylindrical bullets about the diameter of the hole in a Life Saver. I should send a bag of these as well.
As for those of you who won't be attending, I'd be happy to send you a packet each. Please email me to discuss how/when.
Fiberbabe, I thought you needed a new currency calculator - thought your post read A$1.39 = US$1.73. The A$ is currently trading at around 52 cents US, thus a packet costing A$1.39 is worth around US73cents. You had me all excited for a minute - thinking that there was a dollar out there somewhere that was worth less than ours!
As for the taste - well.......it tastes of musk.
The pic URL given by wof... shows that they indeed look like licorice sticks. The pink colour persists all the way through and they are not sugar coated. Their texture when they've gone a bit soggy is drier (and a lot less chewy) than licorice - pretty similar to the thick white sugary icing on our traditional (fruit cake based) wedding cakes. (I believe US wedding cakes are often a white sponge???)
Yours in Incredulity
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You had me all excited for a minute - thinking that there was a dollar out there somewhere that was worth less than ours!
Ahem. Capital Kiwi
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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You have real currency? Dollars? I thought youse were still trading paua shells. The things you learn at AWAD.
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Well, stales old chappie, here's something else: Cricket. Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! I'm surprised at the vehemence of Lions supporters' dislike of the Wallabies. I was wearing an All Blacks rugby jersey when I was out getting totally bladdered last Thursday, and a number of people - instead of hitting me - commented that they hoped the All Blacks would cream the Wallabies this season. Well, we do live in hopes.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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WO'N - here's your answer...
"Australia Day (26 January) commemorates the arrival of Captain Arthur Phillip and the First Fleet at Port Jackson, later renamed Sydney Cove, on 26th January,1788 after leaving England on 13th May 1787. On the day of his arrival, Captain Arthur Phillip proclaimed the area to be a British possesion, naming it New South Wales. This landing started the first permanent European settlement in Australia. The fleet consisted of two warships, the Sirius and the Supply, and nine merchantment. There are said to have been 564 male and 192 female convicts, 450 crew with civil and military personnel appointed to official duties,28 wives and 30 children, of whom 15 belonged to the convicts.
Australia Day is a holiday throughout Australia. Traditionally the celebrations include flag-raising and commemorative events, a 21 gun salute, regattas and parades. More recently the event has been marked by naturalization and citizenship ceremonies and the presentation of Australia Day Citizen and Young Citizen Awards. There are also concerts, theatrical productions, fireworks and a variety of other events including a carnival in Canberra."
Captain James Cook "discovered" and mapped the east coast of Australia in 1770 in the bark "Endeavour".
Growing up on the east coast in a strongly British dominated system this was about the depth of it - "the Brits did it all, the Brits are good", colonial sort of stuff. No mention of the Portuguese (and probably the Dutch) who knew the place was here well over a hundred years before Cook but chose to do nothing with their knowledge.
I used quotes on discovered because it also is a Colonial thing. The aboriginal people had been here for 60,000 years and weren't lost at all. Matter of fact, I think they did a damn fine job keeping this place to themselves for all that time. Sharing it with Europeans only stuffed things up for them.
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stales ~ Didn't mean to cause confusion on the currency conversion - I found an online converter, so I felt pretty sure about its accuracy, I just neglected to put in the zero for clarity. Heretofore, please read " At the equivalent of US$.71 a pack..." as " At the equivalent of US$0.71 a pack..." The decimal was in there to begin with, I promise. I'm glad that your family has garnered some amusement from this! I consider it on par with having grown up in a Norwegian household and not being able to fathom that there are people in the world who don't know about lutefisk and lefse.
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Stales,
Do musk sticks ever come in a white creamy colour. I vaguely remember something of the sort being sold here when I was young but they were called "de la tire musquée" I think musked taffy is the best translation.
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If anyone thinks musk candy sounds gross, let them try lutefisk.
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Thanks, stales, for that capsule review of Australian settlement history!...very enlightening. Now, as a history buff, I'm eager to delve into more of the details. (Although, I think I'll pass on the early Aussie settlers' candy-eating habits! )
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gross, let them try lutefisk.
Ok, Bob--I'll bite. What is lutefisk? That word sounds fishy to me...
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more of the detailsSend me your address mate, and I'll send you a spare copy of a wonderful book I was enthusing about around a year back, called The Fatal Shore - I couldn't resist getting another copy to give to someone when I saw it for about $1 in a remnants sale recently! BTW, thanks to Jo I recently experienced the delights of the standard USA Lifesavers. er, well, guys, I have three comments on these marvels: 1. Their flavo(u)r reminded me of a cross between old socks and lavatory disinfectant B. Compared to this 'gourmetic' delight I would *always rather taste musk which is a wonderful and naturally aromatic sensation III. In fact, compared to repeating this experience, I think I can honestly say I would rather suck a Fisherman's Friend
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Re-- I'll send you a spare copy of a wonderful book I was enthusing about around a year back, called
The Fatal Shore -
Was that the history of australia that was published about the time of Australia's centenial?
(ie circa 1988?) there was an exhibit at AMNH, and i remember reading a book about the early years of australia, but i foolishly didn't by it. Still bits and peices stuck in my head--
Mostly i remember being startled that the country was so young.. I am so used to US and NY being called young.. after all even a young city in europe, (Dublin) is over 1000 years old.. and NY hasn't even celebrated 400..
It seemed there was a lot of australian stuff about then.. lots of movies, some books and several TV productions that found there way onto US public telelvision.. I particularly remember A Town Like Alice-- and while i haven't gotten to australia yet-- when i do get there, Alice will be on my itinerary!
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[blueand NY hasn't even celebrated 400..
Virginia's quarter in the "50 State Quarters" program says "quadricentennial", I believe.
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I don't know when Henry Hudson, sailed into the harbor, and started up the river that bears his name, but NYC charter traces the city to 1625-- (ycliu)--the year of the New Amsterdam Trading company charter, establishing a trading post colony on the tip of Manhattan.
the state might be older.. but NYC is still short of being 400 years old.
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Sir Walter Raleigh's colonists, successful or not, landed at Roanoke in 1587. I know this because I was reading a plaque in Plymouth at Christmas that said so, and plaques on harbour walls never lie, do they? That being the case, Virginia's quadricentennial is more or less right on the money, isn't it? NYC is definitely a johnny-come-lately. JKC Centre or no ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Was that the history of australia that was published about the time of Australia's centenial?
I would guess so, Helen. And if anyone else wants a a dip into some of these waters without wading through a complete (populist) history tome, may I reccomend a novel called The English Passengers - it's a superb and accurately based story about Van Diemen's Land settlement, and is a rich study too for anyone even remotely interested in language... it is multiply-voiced and includes a lot of Manx dialect. A great read.
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Ok, CK, I finally buckled down and did my homework. It bothers the heck out of me to read that Raleigh landed on Roanoke, Virginia. Roanoke Island is part of North Carolina. But I have to concede that when he was there, it was VA.
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Jackie, if you ever visit the Governor's Palace in Williamsburg, you will see a map of the U.S. drawn before the American Revolution. It shows that everything south of Maryland and west of the Atlantic ocean, and north of Maryland and west of Pennsylvania, with the exceptions of Georgia, Florida and Louisiana, were claimed as part of Viginia -- all the way to the Mississippi river. In other words, Virginia claimed everyything which was not already another colony.
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Carpal Tunnel
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The first permanent English settlement in what is now the United States was Jamestown, Virginia, in 1607, and capital of Virginia from 1607-1699. It was founded May 13, 1607, by the Virginia Company of London, on what was then a marshy peninsula (now Jamestown Island) of the James River, about 32 miles from its mouth. Roanoke, Virginia, is very much inland in the southwestern part of the state. Roanoke Island, the site of the 1587 settlement, is indeed located on the barrier island chain (the Outer banks) of North Carolina just behind Nags Head and about 50 miles south of Virginia. Prior to 1663, this territory was all considered Virginia. The Roanoke Colony name applied to a famous land grant of the Crown. In 1587 Sir Walter Raleigh, having obtained a large grant of land from Queen Elizabeth, sent out, April 9, seven vessels and 108 settlers under the command of Sir Richard Grenville. After skirting the West Indies and Hispaniola (dressing all the natives there in skirts ), they landed at Roanoke, in North Carolina, June 20. Ralph Lane was left in charge of the settlement and Grenville returned to England. During the following winter Lane made numerous exploring expeditions and suffered greatly from Indian attacks. In the spring he received some aid in men and supplies from Sir Francis Drake, but finally persuaded Drake to take them home. Soon after Grenville arrived with new settlers. These had been destroyed by the Indians when, in 1587, a new colony of Raleigh's, under an officer named John White, came out. White himself returned to England. When he came back in 1591 he found the colony vanished (the fabled Lost Roanoke Colony)--but the strange word "Croatan" was carved on a doorpost. The Lost Colony of Roanoke remains one of the foremost archaeological mysteries in North America (along with the disappearance of the Anasazi). In 1663 Charles II granted a charter to 8 English gentlemen who had helped him to regain the crown. The territory was called Carolina in honor of Charles the First ("Carolus" is the Latin form of "Charles"). There you go, Dr. Bill, Carolina has Latin roots! Dates on the Roanoke settlement vary by a year or two in some accounts, as early as 1585, and some trimming the final disappearance back to 1590.
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In 1863 Charles II granted a charter to 8 English gentlemen .... Did they dig 'im up to do it, special, loike? The Charlie II I know of might have been in the charter-granting business in, oh, say, 1663, though. Oh well, WO'N, at least it was an even numbered century ... I can't remember if the plaque mentioned Virginia explicitly. But, as has been said above, Virginia was most of that area at the time anyway, so Virginia it was. And, yus, I do know that Roanoke, Virginia, is well inland. We stayed there in late July last year after braving the Shenandoah Valley.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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1663Okay, CK...I fixed it! I guess Charles II wouldn't've been giving out land grants in the middle of the American Civil War, huh? Oh, well...it was getting late...and what's 200 years, more or less?
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at least it was an even numbered century
As our bold expat Kiwi waits, with baited breath, for the resident pedantic nitpicker to say, "Odd!"
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Ewww... you mean to say CapK has a worm on his tongue?
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Or either a piece of cheese, one.
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A double-whammy - the bad-cop, bad-cop routine. Unoriginal, but ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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the bad-cop, bad-cop routine
Hey, one bad cop deserves another.
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Yeah, and two bad cops don't have no mother ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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old hand
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I have to share this with you all.....
A mate of mine is PASSIONATE about being an Australian. Drives a 1964 Holden (same as me!), would die for the Melbourne football team, drinks VB etc.
He was recently working in Malaysia and took the opportunity to get a tattoo (his first and only). It's about 3" wide and sits prominently high on his back, on his spine about 4" below his collar....
And the "picture"??????
A bar code with "Australia" printed above it and the codified version of his date and place of birth, plus those of his two children!!
I'm tempted - but, as you'll note in my bio, faced with an identity crisis!!
stales
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Oh stales - help me understand this acronym. The only thing I know VB to stand for is Visual Basic, and I don't think it comes in liquid form. 
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"Victoria Bitter" beer. Has the same characteristics as Microsoft's products, actually. Nicely packaged. Full of bugs. Purchase leaves a nasty aftertaste and can easily make you sick; and they're always on at you to buy more.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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the same characteristics as Microsoft's products
More's the pity. A good bitter is a wond'rous thang.
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As bespoke by Thunder Stealer, Captain of Words, from the Land of The Cricket Match Throwers, 'tis a lager.
[gently chiding -e] Now Fiberbabe - if you'd carefully followed the "Aussie Beers" pages at the site mentioned by Bean at the start of this thread you would have known this! There's a pic there n' all.
Rather than trying to remember all our beers, we have a simple system for the poor heat-struck folk in our northern and outback climes....
Rather than asking for a Victoria Bitter or VB, just ask the barkeep for "a green can". For a spot of variation you could go for a "yellow can" (XXXX), a "white can" (Carlton Draft) or a "blue can" (Foster's). Doesn't matter if you can't remember which is which, they're all good. And, after one of each in the first hour, you won't care!! ("Super" grade Aussie beers such as these have considerably more alcohol than those in the US as I recall - around 6%).
This should be of benefit to anybody travelling through this land - and you'll impress the locals straight away!
stales
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And as our dear friends Stales & Max Q are demonstrating ... one of the most ingrained traditions of our two cultures is to needle the other . NZ - 1 Aus - 1 Now here's a fun read about our fine land: http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml Hev"friend you haven't met yet..."
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make sure they put Costa Rica back.
Aw, hev, and I'd just finished cleaning the grapes off my monitor from the Bobbit thread video escapade! ROTFLMAO and still wiping the tears off my face.
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Hev......mate.....you are a dead set bloody legend. That site had my spluttering on my vegemite coated musk sticks!!!! (mmm musk sticks) I feel that Aussie interests are in good hands and, seeing you are in a time zone 3 hours ahead of me, reckon that I can now get 3 hours more sleep in the full knowledge that the eastern shores are so well defended.
In passing, I hope you don't mind if I point out that I think you're being a tad too polite with the resident K1W1's. You could afford to turn up the burners a bit. I know you're a bit new, but they ARE from New Zealand and we ARE from Australia - they expect it. Don't let them think we're going soft just coz we lose the odd cricket match every few decades.
stales
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Is this some kind of inside code?
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K1W1 = KIWI
Don't read too much into it Jackie - as I've said before, we are but simple folk - on both sides of the Tasman.
stales
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In reply to:
[gently chiding -e] Now Fiberbabe - if you'd carefully followed the "Aussie Beers" pages at the site mentioned by Bean at the start of this thread you would have known this! There's a pic there n' all.
Ay de mi! Lo siento... I went ass over teakettle about the musksticks and totally forgot what I was doing. Besides, theorizing about liquid Visual Basic got me wondering about what specific gravity other vaporware might have to attain in order to take solid form...
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thank-you hev. You know I have now ear-marked that page.
Oh and you can remove the friend you haven't met yet signature since you are pretty much part of the family now.
Salut
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Oz thrashed Zild 28-0 in the 7s - Yowch!Ah, yah win some, ya lose some Max ... (and that was with a couple of new dudes playing for Oz wasn't it?) Yippee! Go Oz Go!! Better Stalesy?
Hev
"friend you haven't met yet..."
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Thanks bel Glad to be part of da family . I've only left the signature there because I don't really like being called a stranger ... according to official title . And if you like that site, you should check out http://www.theonion.com. I know it's been mentioned before here, but it was a while ago. See Stales? I'm finding my way around the site...
Hev
"friend you haven't met yet..."
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but in just a few more post (4 i think) you won't be. and if you care, you can look up in the information and announcement thread the various titles.. they are fun, but in some ways meaningless.
some members have changed names.. so their current standing at addict, or old hand doesn't really give a complete picture to how long they have been posting.. others like the AsP --have to kick and scream, and get faldage off line so they can get on..
some of us have highspeed always on connections, some have convienent access as work (and waste way to much time doing awad instead of work..) some of us write long posts..
some post a word or two.. but everywhere.
the titles are there.. some us, no matter what the title are always stranger than other..
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A quote from the second of Max's links: "While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them."
Brilliant ... how does one get a job with these people?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Trust CK to drag Bush and Israel into it!
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News Item: "Pictures of women in swimsuits have been banned from tourist promotional material for next month's Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Australia because they might offend Muslim delegates."
Ah, those delegates are so tolerant of other ways of life. "When they are in Rome, the Romans must do as they do."
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In reply to:
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis ...
Are you sure it wasn't because no one axed them?
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I received this in an email today. I'm not sure I agree with all of them, but...
You know it's Summer in Oz when...
* The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* Hot water now comes out of both taps.
* You can make sun tea instantly.
* You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
* The temperature drops below 35 degrees (Celcius) and you feel a little chilly.
* You discover that in February it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
* You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
* Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
* The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
* The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt, and pepper.
* Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
* The cows are giving evaporated milk.
* The trees are whistling for the dogs.
* Your best friends in summer just happen to have air conditioning or a pool
* You remind yourself for the nth year in a row to buy a new car that has airconditioning
* You sleep more often in your back yard than you do in your house
* You think living in Antarctica can't be that bad
Hev
"no longer a stranger..."
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Well, it's been hot, but it's headed towards 100 posts. It will surely implode in the face of all those gratuitous insults ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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100th post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By fair means or foul
stales
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It's just a pity that the 100th is actually the 101st, as the original post is not counted, and that each page only displays 99 posts, including the original.
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Got that one too
(Oh, I can be SO childish!)
stales
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Did I mention that Chandrasekhar calculated that 19 million Australians were roughly equivalent to the mass of one white dwarf star, provided that they were all drinking out of Fosters tinnies? I would say that this would mean the collapse of Australian civilisation, but I fear that ... 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Carpal Tunnel
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TOO LA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-T-E!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I'm cross threading with the Olympic theme, here but if you want to read some classic Australian-isms, have a look at the Roy & HG site. These two are classic "ocker blokes" who tell it how they see it. (The TV series is on here really late at night so don't get to see too much of it, so here's the website if you want a look.) I was ROTFLMAO at the commentary of the race, and subsequent interview with Steven Bradbury. http://theicedream.i7.com.au/Enjoy! Hev
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