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Joined: Nov 2000
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veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
My favorite response is, "Well, you can ask, but I don't promise to answer."
A friend has this sign over his desk:
RATE SCHEDULE FOR ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS
- Wild Guesses: $1
- Educated Guesses: $2
- Half-assed answers: $3
- Correct answers: $10 and up
- Dumb looks are still free.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
"Tell that dog to lay down."There's nothing wrong with this sentence! You've just misinterpreted it. The dog has feathers, and he's going to apply said feathers to the floor, wall, or some other spot, as a bricklayer would lay bricks. There, Dub Dub, don't you feel better now? 
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
The "lie"/"lay" argument only holds good in the US. No one in my part of the world (either of them) would ever say "I'm going to lay down". Just ain't natcharule. Anyway, back to Helen's original question. The problem is that "Can I ask you a question?" is a closed question in itself. There are only three possible answers (staying away from facetious responses): "Yes", "No" and ... silence. The one I like, because it plays straight into my hands (rub, rub, evil leer), is "Are you free?". What kind of a question is that? Still, it's asked all the time. I have a set of responses which I trot out depending on circumstances: "No." That one is a real show-stopper and when used leads to consternation on the part of the questioner, because s/he generally doesn't know what to say next. "Of course. Slavery was abolished long before I was born." This one generally results in nervous titters. If I think it's appropriate  , I then add "But I sold out and became a wage slave anyway." At this point the interlocutor quite often gives up. This is generally my intention. "No, of course not. D'you think I don't get paid for this crap?" Accompanied by holding your hand out, of course. I've actually had one woman reach into her purse at that point ... "No, it cost me too much to get my body into this shape not to want some payback." Those of you who have met me will understand the confusion this engenders. And lots of variations. Try it, especially in a work situation. My boss once asked me if I was free, and I asked him if that meant there was no paycheck at the end of the month. You gotta find your fun where you can, don't you?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Sep 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
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Geoff writes: Tell that dog to lay down.
...and, finally!, I understand what they've been saying around here all these years! Thank you, thank you, Geoff! I have seen the light--fluffy feathers.
Best regards,
DubDub, who is goin to lie down on this one, heart at ease.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
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"Tell that dog to lay down."Geoff says, "The dog has feathers, and he's going to apply said feathers ... as a bricklayer would lay bricks."I see, Geoff. Query: when a woman tells you, "Down, boy!", do you understand that to be an invitational reference to the materials in her pillow or featherbed?
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
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The one I like, because it plays straight into my hands (rub, rub, evil leer), is "Are you free?"
A response potentially in a different direction is, "No, but I'm worth every penny."
Nothing is as expensive as a woman who's free for the evening.
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
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Boy howdy! I just shudder to think what y'all'd say if someone was so rude as to ask you, "How do you do?"
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
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I just shudder to think what y'all'd say if someone was so rude as to ask you, "How do you do?"
Faldage, I'm unsure to whom were you referring, but it appears you were wondering how CK would respond to said rude inquiry. If so, you may perhaps find a clue in CK's recent announcement that his personal credo is, "Do unto others as they would do unto you. But do it first ..."
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
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it appears you were wondering how CK would respond to said rude inquiry
It was directed in general at all who would take offense at what is merely a bit of social lubrication.
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Joined: Nov 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
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It was directed in general at all who would take offense at what is merely a bit of social lubrication.Oh, I don't take offence (if this was directed in any way at all at me) when people ask me if I'm free. I just, as I said at the end of my post, enjoy the opportunities that arise in my life ... And the credo bit - well, you can take it two ways, you know?  I do.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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