#46546
11/03/2001 3:41 AM
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385
veteran
|
|
veteran
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385 |
A columnist in today's Times (of London, England) describes
his journalistic brethern (is there a journalistic "sistern"?) as "the commentariat", and he says "This is the season of conkers". Perhaps the British members of our own 'commentariat' can tell me what "conkers" means. Here is an extract from the column lifted off of The Times web site:
This is the season of conkers. Behind the war over Afghanistan a pettier conflict can be discerned: a word battle amongst the commentariat, conducted on laptops and from the back benches of the House of Commons.
|
|
|
#46547
11/03/2001 6:35 AM
|
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Conkers are a peculiarly English thing. Basically, you drill a hole through a horse chestnut, run a string through it so that you have a nut on a string, known as a conker. Then you take turns alternately taking swipes at other people's conkers with your own and having yours hit with the other person's. The person whose conker breaks first loses.
I went to the World Conker Championships at Ashton in Northamptonshire recently. Here's an extract from an email I sent to friends and rellies afterwards:
+++++++
Yesterday, however, we went to the World Conker Championships. No bullshit. They're held every autumn in a little town called Ashton just on the Northants side of the border with Cambridgeshire. Ashton is a completely thatched village, an effect which is totally spoiled when you read on a stone set into the church wall that the entire damned village was built in 1900 by Charles Rothschild. I still haven't found out why he bothered, but I have a dreadful feeling I'll know sooner or later.
Anyway, the conker championships. There are an awful lot of extremely pissed people with conkers on strings bashing the hell out of other conkers on strings held by the opposing person. Women were into it as well as men, and the girls were packing away the draught beer with the same gusto as the men. The commentator was pissed as well - he nearly fell out of the commentary box a couple of times just while I was watching - and the whole thing was totally hilarious. They decided on the world champion just before we left - it was a local conker club committee member. I suspect he was the only only able to stand up. The women's event was won by a member of the French contingent - there are French conker clubs as well. Ashton's twin town from Germany, Westerwald, had a stall there, too. From the glazed look about the German contingent they were either very, very bored or very, very pissed. Since Westerwald is in Bavaria, I lean towards the latter, personally. Teams came along dressed up. The locals all wore Rushen Diamond soccer jerseys. One bunch of men were there dressed as beefeaters, complete with pikestaffs. A group of very unsaintly women were there dressed up as nuns. It's hard to come to terms with a nun so drunk that she's walking with a kind of a list. And wearing nail polish.
The whole event is surrounded by a fair, and there were copious quantities of people milling about, kids, dogs and generally drunken adults. There was a bunch of very alternative Morris dancers doing their thing - these events do tend to bring out the wierdos. I'm not saying it's mainly a drinking club, but they all had engraved and heavily ornamented beer tankards which looked battered and stained from unrelenting use. They were quite good at what they do, if you think that grown men with black pancake makeup, streamers attached to their clothes, yellow knee stockings, bells attached to their trousers and sticks in their hands, prancing about in formation, clobbering everyone else's sticks with theirs in a kind of ritual combat, merit any kind of measurement of quality at all.
Coconut shies, stalls, tombola and all of the traditional fun of the fair made up the rest of it.
The conker champs made it onto the BBC2 news, which isn't really very difficult to achieve. They specialise in the cat-up-a-tree type of "news".
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
|
|
|
#46548
11/03/2001 7:34 AM
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
Love conkers. I'm not sure if horsechestnut tree outside the house has any few left. I'm not too keen on the resulting bruises though.
See, the US has baseball, we have ... conkers.
|
|
|
#46549
11/03/2001 8:39 AM
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 393
enthusiast
|
|
enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 393 |
Champion conkers are rated by the number of opponents they have vanquished, so there's a process of selection improving the champions.
It is generally considered unsporting to prepare them in certain devious ways, such as baking them for 800 years in the family ovens (to quote the Molesworth books ahem).
I regret that I have only actually seen one conker match in the last twenty years - in a pub. I don't know whether children routinely play it in schools still (and I have the same ignorance of marbles, hopscotch etc. in these days of hand-held electronics), or whether it's now relegated to the lumber room of our history along with morris dancing, trotted out only for the show.
I don't see children collecting them. I pick up horse chestnuts because they're exquisitely beautiful, and I wouldn't dare risk harm to my favourites.
|
|
|
#46550
11/03/2001 9:10 AM
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385
veteran
|
|
veteran
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,385 |
Anyway, the conker championships. There are an awful lot of extremely pissed people with conkers on strings bashing the hell out of other conkers on strings held by the opposing person.A fine story! You Brits really are a bit eccentric, what? We made conkers ourselves as kids in Ontario only we didn't have a name for them. And we didn't use them to "conk" anyone else's conker either. We used them like boleros. We swung the 'conkers' around our heads until they achieved a furious speed and then we let them loose in the direction of a human target some distance away. We weren't very good at it ... fortunately. Smashing a conker seems a bit of a waste of a good conk, which explains, perhaps, why serious conkers prefer to get conked on beer before they get down to conketition. Thanks for your story. 
|
|
|
#46551
11/03/2001 1:03 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
|
|
|
#46552
11/03/2001 3:04 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
I played conkers when I was a boy. But my grandchildren cannot. Disease has killed all the horsechestnut trees. I never did know why the were called "horse" chestnuts.
Incidentally a slang word for hitting someone on the head was "conk".
|
|
|
#46553
11/03/2001 3:13 PM
|
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
1597 Gerarde Herbal iii. lxxxv. 1254 Called+in English Horse Chestnut; for that the people of the East countries do with the fruit thereof cure their horses of the cough+and such like diseases.
but. it comes from L. castanea equina
|
|
|
#46554
11/03/2001 3:16 PM
|
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
When I was growing up, there was a toy that had two hard plastic balls attached to a string and the object was to get them going so thatHi tsumn! they would make an incessant noise. So many of us walked around those days with huge bruises all over our wrists and lower arms. I think they were called clackers. Anyone remember these?
|
|
|
#46555
11/03/2001 3:32 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
the fruit thereof cure their horses of the cough+and such like diseases. Thanks! I never knew that. I've never tried getting to the actual nut, myself--too scared to.
|
|
|
#46556
11/03/2001 3:53 PM
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
i didn't make conkers, but teen age boys still made conkers in NYC in the say early-mid 60's..
and both boys and girls would have fights with "itch balls" the seed ball from sycamores/ London Plain trees.
these trees had seed balls a little smaller thatn the size of golf ball, and when crushed, the individual seeds had small furry barbs.. they caught on your skins, and made it itchy.
|
|
|
#46557
11/03/2001 6:13 PM
|
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Plutarch opined You Brits really are a bit eccentric, what?If I were British, no doubt I would be. But I'm neither ... well, I'm not British, anyway ... 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
|
|
|
#46558
11/03/2001 7:20 PM
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
consuelo - I believe you're correct... we called 'em "clackers"... until someone had an eye put out and then we called them "illegal". ...well, I'm not British, anyway... It won't be long, now... how long 'til you can "vote" there? 
|
|
|
#46559
11/03/2001 8:05 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear consuelo: I never saw your toy. But an oldtimer showed us how to make bull-roarers.Any stick about two feet long, and 1/8" thick and 1" wide, with a hole about 1/8" diameter near one end to hitch a three foot strong string to. When whirled about the head it makes a loud roaring. I have read that in some primitive cultures they were used in rituals.
|
|
|
#46560
11/03/2001 9:30 PM
|
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
|
|
|
#46561
11/03/2001 9:30 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
|
|
|
#46563
11/03/2001 9:52 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear WW: I would have said a ruler, except most rulers are too thick and heavy. The sticks paint stores commonly give away to mix paint should work. Half of a cheap yardstick would do. I used to give the kids pieces cut with table saw, when cutting planks to size. Some sticks roar more readily than others, for minute differences in dimensions which I could not discern. The string length is not critical, but roaring does not commence until the contraption is being swung in a circle overhead ;quite rapidly, and the stick is revolving about its long axis.The hole for the string should be centered, and fairly close to the end.
|
|
|
#46564
11/03/2001 10:51 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
|
|
|
#46565
11/03/2001 11:01 PM
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Dub-dub, yet another sport-related thread? paulb, wasn't there a scene in Crocodile Dundee which our hero used the weird screeing sound of a bullroar to frighten the city folk plodding through the outback?
|
|
|
#46566
11/04/2001 3:09 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
OK ...
[sound of other shoe dropping]
... what is Morris dancing?
|
|
|
#46567
11/04/2001 7:21 AM
|
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Here you are, Michi-goose: http://home.clara.net/krt/infoform.htmMay you be more the wiser ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
|
|
|
#46568
11/04/2001 10:31 AM
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 460
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 460 |
Hi Keiva: I've not seen Crocodile Dundee and, on checking my list of 500 films I must see before I go to that great cinema in the sky, I'm unlikely to! But it's always good to see that our exports are appreciated. By the way, keep an eye out for a film called Innocence by Paul Cox -- by far the best Aussie film I've seen in recent years.
|
|
|
#46570
11/04/2001 2:41 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
|
|
|
#46571
11/04/2001 5:41 PM
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
It's well known that the absolute best at this sport was an English lady who stood over seven feet tall and weighed some 20 stones. Her style was to bend over and conk with an uppercut motion. They said of her, "She stoops to conker."
TEd
|
|
|
#46572
11/04/2001 7:10 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
>And, there must be a difference between mummers and Morris dancers, although on Bill's link above, that group performs both...
Mummers perform traditonal plays like "George and the Dragon". Morris dancing only covers the dancing part although as you say, the group mentioned do both.
|
|
|
#46573
11/04/2001 8:35 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear jmh: the word "mummers" suggests that they pantomime only, meaning they do not speak. Is that correct?
|
|
|
#46574
11/04/2001 9:54 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
Mummers: Mummers plays are in verse, so yes, they do speak and I think I have only ever seen male performers. Here are some examples: http://www.isenguard.demon.co.uk/mummers.htmhttp://www.shef.ac.uk/uni/projects/tdrg/Pantomine: I’m sure we’ve discussed pantomimes before but for those who missed it: Pantomime is not like mime. Pantomimes are traditional Christmas plays, eg Aladdin (although new ones get written from time to time). Imagine the Disney Aladdin, in the pantomime version - the princess would be played by a woman as would Aladdin (the principal boy), often with fishnet stockings and thigh-length boots (I think that is to encourage the fathers to bring their offspring). Aladdin’s mother (the dame) would be played by a man with lots of padding. There is usually a slapstick scene such as baking, with flour everywhere or washing with suds everywhere. There is always a "baddie", the Uncle in Aladdin and some kind of helper, the genie in Aladdin or the good fairy in Cinderella. When the baddie comes on you have to shout “behind you” and the goodies pretend that they haven’t seen them. If there is an animal, such as the pantomime horse (mentioned elsewhere), cow or camel, it will be played by two people, one for the front and the other (bent down) the back – the back end of the horse is probably one of the worst jobs in theatre. It is all larger than life and can be good or bad. They were ruined a few years ago with too many pop singers trying to sing their songs or television performers trying to fit in their catchphrases but there are many good traditional pantomimes around. In the theatres where I used to work, they were one of the best selling events of the year, twice daily for six weeks and helped fund the rest of the year’s productions.Here’s a few photos of a performer who plays pantomime dames http://www.bid-chas.dircon.co.uk/Pantomime.html
|
|
|
|
Forums16
Topics13,916
Posts230,423
Members9,211
| |
Most Online17,319
Apr 8th, 2026
|
|
|
|
