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#4544 07/29/2000 1:33 AM
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Several subscribers out there are writers, I know, at least
in desire if not publication. I thought perhaps people would enjoy sharing some favorite similes that have been composed, or just read somewhere. I hate to start a thread with no example, but for the life of me nothing comes to mind.


#4545 07/30/2000 12:20 PM
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Jacqui dearest, I am concerned about your desire to start a thread without fulfilling your full responsibilities as The Initiator. Perhaps this is a case of "The Web That Has No Weaver"?

Rgds, sakezuki lusy


#4546 07/30/2000 4:53 PM
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Ok, you've shamed me into an attempt.
Pet names are to my heart as soft rain to wilting flowers.


#4547 07/31/2000 8:02 AM
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Jackie - THAT is sheer Poetry! May all the similes hide their faces in shame.


#4548 07/31/2000 11:08 AM
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I am honored, Avy. Thank you.


#4549 07/31/2000 12:00 PM
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<Pet names>

which reminds me …

The new bloke in town was in his local pub when he met a shearer on leave. "I've got some sheep ready to be shorn", he said, "Can I get you to do them?"

"Sure", said the shearer, "How many have you got?"

"Four", said the new bloke and, after a very long silence, the shearer said quietly: "And what are their names?"

I'm going away for a few days soon to get all this 'sheep' nonsense out of my system.



#4550 07/31/2000 10:14 PM
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here's one:

profanity flows forth from his mouth like cool, freshly melted snow from a spring.


#4551 08/13/2000 10:31 AM
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tactful as an elephant in hobnail boots.

Also, not original, but I have always loved both
'as much use as a chocolate teapot' and
'as much chance as a snowflake in hell'.

BTW, what is the derivation of the much more common 'hasn't got a cat in hell's chance'? Just why should cats fare so very badly in hell?


#4552 08/13/2000 11:42 AM
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>>tactful as an elephant in hobnail boots.

Gee, that's me at times! But I've never heard the
cat-in-hell one! Sounds catty-wampus to me.


#4553 08/13/2000 1:31 PM
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While not a simile, I have always been very fond of the phrase "It was raining hammer handles."



TEd
#4554 08/14/2000 5:21 AM
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Ted, I always heard it as "pitchforks and hammer handles".
Regional diff., probably.


#4555 08/14/2000 8:54 PM
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gee, and I always though it was just cats and dogs. . .


#4556 08/14/2000 9:05 PM
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It's raining cats and dogs
and pitchforks and assorted frogs...

oops, wrong thread.


#4557 08/15/2000 6:08 AM
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Originally, I must have read it on wall, somewhere, and it stuck in my mind, contrary to most other things:
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle"


#4558 08/15/2000 1:26 PM
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and speaking of writing on walls...

Hell hath no Fury like a Plymouth


#4559 08/15/2000 4:43 PM
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>Hell hath no Fury like a Plymouth

Why this reminded me, I have no idea, but I did hear about the time Sherlock Holmes caught the man-eating Japanese car, which asked Holmes how he had figured out who it was. Sherlock responded, of course, "Elementary, my were-Datsun."



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#4560 08/15/2000 5:42 PM
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"Elementary, my were-Datsun."

under the circumstances, shouldn't that read "alimentary"?


#4561 08/16/2000 9:13 AM
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This beautiful simile is from Yeats :

"Like a long-legged fly upon the stream
His mind moves upon silence."

I guess examples like these could go to disprove the idea -
the simile is the creatively challenged cousin of the Metaphor.


#4562 08/16/2000 9:47 AM
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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle"

Isn't this usually the other way round? 'A woman without a man...' I can't for the life of me remember who said it - maybe Gloria Steinem?




#4563 08/16/2000 9:49 AM
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>and speaking of writing on walls...<

I always liked:

les noms des fous
sont ecrits partout

(the names of fools are written everywhere)




#4564 08/17/2000 7:46 AM
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There was a series of badges (buttons) in the eighties including:

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"
and
"A woman needs a man like a moose needs a hatrack"
(I assume the latter was American as we don't really have moose, only deer.)


#4565 08/17/2000 1:53 PM
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this was my favourite way to begin an essay at school:

"businesses, like pizzas, come in three sizes; big, medium and small."

this invariably got me a good mark, possibly because the teacher could easily understand it.
by the way (BTW) you can substitute just about anything for "businesses".


#4566 09/06/2000 9:32 AM
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One simile I only ever heard used by my grandmother and my mother both of whom alas no longer with us..

in describing a thin person... straight up and down like a yard of pumpwater


#4567 09/06/2000 3:06 PM
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Not original, and not exactly a simile, but catchy:

"Benetton's ads using deathrow inmates are very well-executed."

"He now stands squarely in the president's inner circle."

"This deadlock has life in it yet."

I readily add that I am not prepared to offer any similes.


#4568 09/06/2000 7:04 PM
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not exactly a simile, but catchy:

That phrase reminded me of one of the most descriptive sentences in the Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy, one that has always been a favourite of mine: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."



#4569 09/07/2000 6:41 AM
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moving at the speed of a pregnant snail


#4570 09/08/2000 6:20 AM
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Or the scholar's favourite: a virgin field pregnant with possibilities.

Bingley


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#4571 09/12/2000 10:52 AM
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<"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle">

Bridget, there's an article in today's Melbourne Age [from the Telegraph, London] about Gloria Steinem which attributes the maxim to her in the form "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". It seems pretty tame stuff to some of the vitriol being squirted among feuding feminists (according to the article): "an imploding beanbag of poisonous self-pity" and "infirmary feminism … a catch-all vegetable drawer where bunches of clingy sob-sisters can store their mouldy neuroses".


#4572 09/13/2000 9:37 AM
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an article in today's Melbourne Age [from the Telegraph, London] about Gloria Steinem which attributes the maxim to her in the form "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". It seems pretty tame stuff to some of the vitriol being squirted among feuding feminists (according to the article): "an imploding beanbag of poisonous self-pity" and "infirmary feminism … a catch-all vegetable drawer where bunches of clingy sob-sisters can store their mouldy neuroses". <

Ah. Not sure whether I should be grateful to you or not for pointing out my apparent common ground with the Torygraph! However, the quotes sound much as I would expect from this particular newspaper!
(Whoops - politics! No offence intended to anyone!)


#4573 09/14/2000 7:08 AM
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>apparent common ground with the Torygraph

Sound's like you might prefer the Grauniad! I've posted a list of British newspapers in "Politics and the Press" in case anyone is wondering what we are talking about.

I found this explanation for "Grauniad" (or is it just another urban legend?): A while ago, the Guardian (which had not long ceased being the Manchester Guardian) was printing in London as well, but was having operational difficulties that meant that, as I understand it, all the text of the paper had to be re-keyed a second time, in a hurry. As a consequence, it became a by-word for typos. One day, they printed their own name as "Grauniad" in a classified ad. Private Eye took this up with amusement and has been referring to the organ as "Grauniad" ever since. -Ian Phillipps, Brass Band mailing list


#4574 09/14/2000 9:27 PM
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"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".

This week's Time magazine has a blurb mentioning Gloria Steinem. She's getting married. I guess she doesn't conform to her own sayings.


#4575 09/17/2000 6:12 AM
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"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".

This week's Time magazine has a blurb mentioning Gloria Steinem. She's getting married. I guess she doesn't conform to her own sayings.


Or, like so many of us, she spends a lot of time wanting (and chasing after) things she doesn't need...


#4576 09/18/2000 5:19 AM
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>she spends a lot of time wanting (and chasing after) things she doesn't need...<

Hi Bridget,

Great! I think this is the original deep meaning of the phrase about the fish and the bicycle. Things that are needed cannot be the subject of fancy dreams.




#4577 09/18/2000 3:16 PM
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Oh boy, this thread sure has turned a couple of corners! I
love this place!

Now--wsieber, Dearest, I have to say that there are some people, including right here in the U.S.--indeed, even
my own state--for whom the necessities are dreams.

And, Bridget, I think that first, those of us who have the
luxury of chasing after things we don't need should count
our blessings.

But also--I am very thankful that we live in a time and place where hunting and chasing are more usually done in fun, such as a guy sneaking up and grabbing his girlfriend
up off the floor, then carries her off for a screaming walk
around the room. Most of our hunting and chasing now have
far less serious consequences than civilization did hundreds and thousands of years ago.


#4578 09/18/2000 9:24 PM
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What's this talk her quote being an analogy for chasing after your dream? Since when do fish yearn for and chase after bicycles?


#4579 09/18/2000 9:40 PM
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Since when do fish yearn for and chase after bicycles?

Can you prove that they don't?




#4580 09/19/2000 3:51 AM
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What's this talk her quote being an analogy for chasing after your dream?

After some creative interpretation, I think I understand
your question. He didn't say it was an analogy. It seemed
to me that he was taking the well-precedented license of
nudging the thread around a bend.


#4581 09/19/2000 6:46 AM
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>taking the well-precedented license of nudging the thread around a bend<
You almost made it..I actually bent the thread around a .. nudge.



#4582 09/20/2000 8:06 AM
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> Can you prove that they don't?

The last fish I spoke to had no revolutionary tendencies.


#4583 09/20/2000 8:27 AM
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>Since when do fish yearn for and chase after bicycles?<
Amsterdam is known for its channels ("grachten") criss-crossing the city. Every year people throw hundreds of bikes into the channels. Why should the serious-minded Dutch do such a thing if not to cater for the need of their fish ?





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