Some expert testified before Congress today that you can iron your mail. And here I thought mail WAS iron. anyway, he said that dry heat kills germs that moist heat does not.

This reminds me of an old story, possibly by Zane Grey, about a woman (madam perhaps?) on the west coast who would offer to give miners returning to the east a check in exchange for their gold so they could carry just a piece of paper rather than all that heavy gold. But what she didn't tell them was she heated the check in an oven so it became very brittle, almost never surviving a trip back east. Interesting form of theft!

And here everyone thought when I said this reminds me that there would be a pun involved!

Nay. I am forsaking pundom, just as Oscar Wilde is rumored to have forsaken one of his personal habits that eventually landed him in jail. He told all of his friends that he was going straight. Some weeks later a friend came to visit him in his hotel, where he found Oscar chasing a bellhop around the room. "Oscar," the fellow remonstrated, "I thought you were going to turn over a new leaf." "I am," panted Wilde, "just as soon as I get to the bottom of the page."

Gosh, that resolution didn't last a whole paragraph, did it?

One last thing, if you decide to put your mail in the oven, don't set it over 450 Fahrenheit.



TEd