- have a car that's ten years older than anyone else's and just keep driving slowly forward when everyone's manoeuvring to get a particular park.

On the whole, I agree with you her, CapK, as the driver of a very ancient, slightly battered Volvo, such as one doesn't mess with. But there is a favourite story of mine, which I sincerely hope isn't apocryphal, about the Rolls-Royce that was about to glide majestically into a parking spot, only to have a Mini nip into it. The young Jack-the-lad who had been driving the mini grinned at the lady driving the RR and said,"You need a little car to do that!"
The lady ignored him, and continued to drive on, pushing the Mini out of the parking spot, into a lamp-post. The lady alighted (one doesn't "get out of" a Roller) and said to the young man in a distant voice, "- and you need a large car to do that."