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or, perhaps, Crocodag Dungdee?
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>>Sheep don't really have the same effect. So, here's looking at 'ewe' [darn, I've done it again!]<< paulb, are you sure sheep don't have the same effect on you? Your Australian heritage is showing through...  
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Carpal Tunnel
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>>Sheep don't really have the same effect.
So, here's looking at 'ewe' [darn, I've done it again!]<<
Reminds me of the story of the guy who ran a flower shop in Sydney. Neat place, the only flower shop I've ever seen with a revolving door. I went in one day and George had installed a new entry area, with niches set into all the walls and a statue of a sheep in each niche. Beautiful flowers all around.
I asked him whether he had ever featured just one statue, and he replied that he had but it had almost destroyed his business. "I don't understand it," he said, "but the customers all said that one statue of a Merino ewe gave the entryway an aura of perversity. They came in the revolving door and went right back out."
I consoled him. "It proves yet again," I said, "that lonely ewes can pervert florist foyers."
(a certified Ted original)
TEd
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Ted-- I have a feeling non-U.S. residents may have a bit of difficulty with that one. And,... I thought you were going to say that George's customers each made a "Ewe-turn". 
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A group of egotistical chess players gathered in the lobby of a fashionable hotel. Each was trying to tell the others, at the same time, how great he was. The manager finally threw them all out, explaining he was sick and tired of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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>>sick and tired of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer<<
I take it that incident occurred at "L'hotel du Grinch"
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In reply to:
I have a feeling non-U.S. residents may have a bit of
difficulty with that one.
This non-U.S. resident certainly is. Explanation please.
Bingley
Bingley
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Thanks, Ted and tsuwm, for two great laughs -- and Bridget, yes, I'm beginning to wonder about the sheep. But its now't to do with an Australian heritage -- I'm actually a pom from Lancashire! Cotton weaving country!
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To Bingley, et al:
For many years on television in the U. S., there was a public service announcement with a picture of Smoky the Bear ( wearing a forest ranger hat). He was "saying",
Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires. It ran long enough to
have made quite an impression on those of us old enough
to have seen it, obviously.
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Just goes to show you that many of us Americans are smug in our feeling that everyone in the world should know all about American culture, even though such Americanisms as Smokey Bear (he actually doesn't have a middle name, though my dictionary says his middle name is "the") are known worldwide.
OK. Let's try a story with an Australian flavor.
An English chap touring Australia became separated from his tour group and wandered through the Outback for the proverbial forty days and forty nights. During this whole ordeal, he was obsessed with having a nice cup of tea. Finally, he found a road and trudged down the road to the outskirts of a tiny town. There on the side of the road he spied a sign: Welcome to Mersey, compliments of the Mersey Tea Room.
Relieved beyond belief, he hied himself to the Tea Room and ordered a cup of the best tea in the house. The waiter returned a few moments later with an evil-looking concoction. Bits of hair and bone drifted through the brown liquid.
"My God, man," spluttered the Englishman, "what is this foul brew?"
The waiter replied with hauteur, "Sir, it is the specialty of the house -- a special tea made from koala bears. I suggest you try it." (The waiter was NOT Australian, I'm certain.)
Our hero took the first sip with trepidation, but soon found himself sipping steadily, since the tea was the best he had ever tasted. Smiling, he looked up at the waiter, "This was excellent. May I have another cup? But this time could you run it through a sieve or a coffee filter to get the solids out?"
"Sir," sniffed the waiter, "the koala tea of Mersey is not strained."
TEd
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