#40150
09/13/2001 2:20 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
My calendar has many tassels.
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#40151
09/14/2001 1:33 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Too many lemons flatten the checkbook.
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#40152
09/14/2001 1:41 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 60
journeyman
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journeyman
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 60 |
Men flatten earth, women flatten worth.
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#40153
09/14/2001 2:43 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
hey, that's good, Teresa... worryingly good... and whatever you're on, Consuelo, I think we all need some 
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#40154
09/17/2001 8:22 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Too many lemons flatten the checkbook.If that's the question, then I think the answer is "Tequila". 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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#40155
09/18/2001 1:12 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Well, may it remain a mystery. That's the way I like it, uh-huh uh-huh. And with this post I believe I became a member. Pass the lemons and flatten my checkbook  .
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#40156
09/18/2001 2:01 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Congratulations, consuelo!
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#40157
09/18/2001 3:05 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
Be not the butter monger, spreading affection abroad in varicose embrace
But as bear to pole star forget
to alleterate
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#40158
09/18/2001 7:49 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#40159
09/18/2001 8:04 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
<allterate
Is thought to be a misspelling of a similar looking word that means, I think, repeating the [first] letter of words.
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#40160
09/18/2001 8:11 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#40161
09/18/2001 9:28 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Which one: alleterate or allterate?
(Or are they alternates?)
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#40162
09/19/2001 1:13 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Or are they alternates?
Or are they all ternates?
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#40163
09/19/2001 1:32 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
all ternates
not all, only every third one
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#40164
09/19/2001 1:35 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
only every third one
All right! Wadja do with the other two?
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#40165
09/19/2001 1:38 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
the other two
Derminated [arnold accent]
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#40166
09/19/2001 4:48 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
TEd
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#40167
09/20/2001 12:09 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
"But I was Vivaldi last time,"she whinged.
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#40168
09/21/2001 3:36 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
* An unexamined maxim is not worth living * This maxim came to mind as I was examining the maxims that have guided me the last forty years. Sadly, albeit perhaps to the pleasure of Pooh-Bah Maverick, these maxims turned out to be "almost maxims". These falsemaxims are ...
* If twineing don't fibble, if fibbling don't twine. *
* The bird of time has but a short way to flutter,
And Lo! The bird is on the wing.
And while that bird is recklessly flying
the bird in the bush is safe and abiding. *
*Honesty is a policy. *
Today I am confused. I have no love life and I have no friends. I am a stranger in a strange land. See there, I speak in cliche`s. In fact my whole life is a cliche but I am so confused I don't know which cliche it is. I need a change of maxims because I am a desperate man and desperate men do desperate things. But before I do let me tell you a story...
Many, but not that many, years ago a young boy that was me, listened every saturday morning to a radio show entitled -THE SATURDAY MORNING RADIO SHOW STARRING "HAPPY HAL" BURNS, THE HAPPIEST MAN IN BIRMINGHAM. Happy Hal was a breed apart. He always wore a flashy cowboy outfit and a big white cowboy hat and was always, always, smiling. His happiness soon proved to be contagious, he quickly became the most listened to radioman in Birmingham, not to mention Jefferson County. But alas, with popularity came riches, so with the Golden Eagle Corn Syrup and the Hi-C Orange Aide money he bought a golden orange Cadillac convertible with cowhide upholstery and a pair of bullhorns for a hood ornament and drove around town, smiling, waving and blowing his horn. But still he couldn't stem the tide of the Orange-Aide and syrup money so he bought a home in Vestavia, a newly pretentious bedroom suburb of Birmingham. There, on the front lawn, Happy Hal erected a ten foot tall plywood cutout of himself, smiling and waving in full cowboy regalia. Unfortunately his neighbors considered this plywood image of Happy Hal to be in poor taste and sued for its removal. Two years later a Judge ruled that yes, Happy Hal's image was indeed in poor taste and ordered it dismantled. But for those two years people from all over Alabama would load up the kids and drive to Vestavia, admire Happy Hal's house and smile and wave at Happy Hal's sign. This was the closest that Birmingham ever got to Hollywood's "Tours of the homes of the Stars."
Time passed, I became thirteen, me and my buddies became self-considered sophisticates. To us and others Happy Hal had become a sad cliche and a not-so-funny joke. We laughed when The Birmingham News reported that Happy Hal, the happiest man in Birmingham, was undergoing a scandalous and hotly contested divorce. This notwithstanding, each day, as always, Happy Hal would end his broadcast with this , his signature saying...
* You can't sprinkle the perfume of happiness on others
without spilling a few drops on yourself. *
Me and my buddies thought this saying corny, and, well yes, it is.
That was then. This morning the memories of Happy Hal came to my mind, so acting on a silly whim I looked into the telephone book and to my surprise I found him.
A woman answered. Yes Happy Hal was still alive, he was ninety years old and had gone to the store and would be back in thirty minutes. No, I'm not his wife , I'm his companion. Yes, he's the same old Happy Hal. Please do call back, Happy will be sorry he missed you. He so much likes to be remembered.
And that is why I've changed my maxim. And it will be my maxim until I'm ninety. Or whatever comes first.
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#40169
09/21/2001 11:13 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
And that is why I've changed my maxim.
To what, Dearest milum? This? "You can't sprinkle the perfume of happiness on others without spilling a few drops on yourself." Sorry if I'm being dense. Reply by private message if you like.
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#40170
09/21/2001 5:18 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
And what was your prior maxim...the honesty one, the bird or the fibble one?
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#40171
09/21/2001 5:58 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
I am afraid to answer, belMarduk, afraid that you'll have a too clever reply.
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#40172
09/21/2001 6:14 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
a too clever reply
Oooh! Not answering ain' no protection against that.
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#40173
09/21/2001 6:27 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
Moi??? But, but, I am the picture of sweetness. Ohhhhh, I see, are we still talking about fig-leaf comparisons? Botany linguistics is all. Geez, you bring up one fairly small-sized leaf and men go all defensive-like.
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#40174
09/22/2001 2:23 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
you bring up one fairly small-sized leaf and men go all defensive-like. Oh, bel, don't they, though?? Hmm--now why am I suddenly inspired to ask where the expression "don't give a fig" came from?  Signed, GQ  P.S., Dear--will you take it a bit easy with my sweet milum, at least until he gets his feet wet in our stream of banter? And milum, when you do--look out! Anything is considered fair game!
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#40175
09/22/2001 2:26 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
It is less to be a beast of prey, blessed a beast of burden.
**
Three cumquats do not a webbed foot make.
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Tell not the blind man selling jellies in the market the sound of passing boys is mischief.
**
Tell me, O, Socrates, what is virtue?
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#40176
09/22/2001 2:32 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Notice that our dear lady has now switched the subject from fig- leaves to figs. Well, dear, now that the leaf has been removed, would you say that the fig iself is symbolically masculine, or feminine? Do you wish to review the literature together (but not in the library )?
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#40177
09/22/2001 2:42 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
<<would you say the fig leaf is symbolically masculine, or feminine?
I would say it was symbolically symbolic, perhaps the most honest icon of hiddenness: it covers the likeness of the body and becomes a physical symbol of non-corporeal hiddenness or hiding. As an attachment of the Roman church to Greek statuary, it is the concrete gesture of a change in being towards the world--of the transition from its immediacy to its mediation through religion and understanding. That is, it is the iconic gesture of the apprehension of the world through shame.
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#40178
09/22/2001 3:30 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
[hiding-behind-inselpeter emoticon] 
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#40179
09/22/2001 4:11 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Warning-really old, naughty joke
Misquote of Mark Twain : Naughty jokes are OK as long as the humor exceeds the vulgarity.
The Fig Leaf
A man was invited to a masquerade -- and he decided to go as Adam.
He called the costume house and asked that a medium fig leaf be mailed to him. The leaf was received but the man called again and said he was returning the leaf as it was too small and could they send him a "large" -- they did. Another call followed, the man was mailing the large fig leaf back and could they send him the largest fig leaf they had. The costumer sent an XXXLarge. Yet another phone call and the man said the leaf was still too small. To which the exasperated costumer said, "Sir, that's the largest we have. May I suggest you paint yourself red, throw it over your shoulder and go as a gas (petrol) pump."
Blushing slightly the old woman gathers up her skirts and leaves while resisting incredible temptation to crack wise ....
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#40180
09/22/2001 4:55 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
Milum chou, don't take my ribbing too seriously. Just kidding around with you gents. I though you were kidding in your post (about the clever remarks).
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#40181
09/22/2001 6:31 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
wow's really old, naughty joke
ROTFL !
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#40182
09/22/2001 7:00 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Shall we start with D.H. Lawrence's Wives and Lovers?
and if we're not going to do it in the library, shall we cheat, and just watch the movie..
the figs are all hanging ripe on the trees, here abouts. dark, swollen fruits, about to burst open, inside, warm, sweet moist flesh, dripping... but i am no dhl..
and i think its pretty safe to say figs are femine.
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#40183
09/22/2001 7:33 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,605 |
Thank you, Helen. Have we now fully satisfied the fig issue, or do others wish to contribute?
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#40184
09/24/2001 6:43 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
you bring up one fairly small-sized leaf and men go all defensive-like.
Oh, bel, don't they, though??
Do I think that dress makes you look fat?
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#40185
09/24/2001 9:02 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
jackie: the expression "don't give a fig" [inconsequential]
of troy: its pretty safe to say figs are feminine.
I do not comment; I merely report.
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#40186
09/25/2001 1:33 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Try dangling two together. They grow that way sometimes [looking off into the distance and whistling-e] 'Course, they do grow them bigger in Texas.
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#40187
09/25/2001 1:40 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
At last we've returned to the original subject of maximizing values.
As we lawyers say, De minimus no curat lex.
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#40188
09/25/2001 1:40 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Faldage, thanks for proving my point.
I do not comment; I merely report.
Keiva, I spotted you at the law library last night...
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#40189
09/25/2001 1:46 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
If you can't maximize them, why bother? Oh, wait. That belongs in 'loaded questions'. What am I doin' here?
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