My favorite seagull story is about a rich idiot who had a bunch of his employees bring him their legal bushel of herring, which he wanted to use to enrich his sandy seaside lawn. I waked by a tremendous screaming of seagulls at about 5 AM Sunday morning, and drove toward the source of the noise. When I got there there were hundreds of seagulls fighting over the partially buried chunks of fish which the roto-tiller had been unable to cover. They were dropping pieces on the neighbors roofs and putting white polka dots on all the roof shingles. I'm sure the HomeOwners Association said some unkind things to the perpertrator.