I don't know if anyone else has posted these, but I got them a few minutes ago and laughed uproariously.
GRAVE REMARKS
(from "The Globe & Mail" Newspaper - Canadian)
Spin Doctor: I’m dead. I’m biologically impaired.
Pharmacist: Taken at bedtime.
Detective: Finally, an airtight case.
Canadian Alliance Politician: With his beloved grassroots at last.
Jockey: Sailed over the bounding mane.
Séance: Medium: Let’s talk.
Podiatrist: Pied-á-terre
Plumber: The minimum charge to read this is $50 plus travel time.
Australian Travel Specialist: G’day from down under.
Crossword Puzzle Creator: I’m filling in my last crypt, I see.
Hairdresser: First I parted, then I dyed.
Pro Golfer: The final hole - one under.
Mining Engineer: Out of site, out of mine.
Computer Salesman: rip.com
Gravedigger: At least I didn’t dig my own.
Appellate Judge: Life lost its appeal.
Astronaut: Departed from this world, again.
Telemarketer: Dead ringer.
.French Ichthyologist: Fin.
Librarian: No longer in circulation.
Magistrate: He was a fine fellow.
Entomologist: He caught the ultimate bug.
Office Worker: Just another day in the cubicle.
Newscaster: This just in . . . I’m dead.
Radiologist: He saw right through everybody.
Electrician: His death was a shock to everyone, including him.
Baker: She’ll rise no more.
Southern Sheriff: Not dead, just a’restin’.
Spelunker: This looks interesting.
Pharmacist: He was a pillar of society.
Food Critic: The pork tartar was seasoned delicately.
Mobile-Phone User: cu L8r
Mime: He didn’t even say good-bye.
Children's Author: You hopped on Pop till he dropped.
Now he’s in a hole like a mole or vole.
French Teacher: Correct usage of grave. Trés bien
Temp: Finally someone filled in for me.
Auctioneer: Going, going, gone at 87, to the gentleman with the scythe.
