One of my father's jokes (I'm one of my mother's):
The paterfamilias of a backwoods mountain family had decided that it was time to relocate the outhouse, since the pit was filled up. So he and his sons dug a new hole and dragged the outhouse over it and got it in place. This took them until supper time, so they knocked off and went in to eat without doing anything about covering up the old cesspit. After supper they proceeded to get drunk on white lightning and went to bed.
In the middle of the night, grandpa, who was very hard of hearing and never heard anything anyone was saying, got up to go to the outhouse. Not knowing it had been moved, in the dark he fell into the old cesspit. He hollered in his loudest voice, "Fire! Fire!" The family came running and pulled him out. One of his grandsons asked, "Grampaw, why did you yell Fire?" The old man replied, "Why you damnfool, would you have paid any attention if I hollered Shit!?"
