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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
As I have travelled around the US, I've seen a lot of reasonably clever bumper stickers. I wondered if y'all would like to share your favourites here. To start the ball rolling, one that nearly had me driving off the road with laughter ...
Jesus is Coming ... LOOK BUSY!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
Jesus is Coming ... LOOK BUSY!
Thus is revealed the Calvinist influence in the US.
A favorite of mine is a spoof of the one saying, "Visualize World Peace." The funnny one says "Visualize Whirled Peas." I personally would prefer "Visualize Invisibility," or "Visualize Squirrel Fleas," or even "Visualize Traffic Signals - since that's the only way you'll ever see them, it seems."
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055 |
The best bumper-sticker I've seen lately was on a Smart Car (the smallest mass-produced automobile ever released). It read:
"When I grow up I want to be a Mercedes A-Class"
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
The craze for bumper stickers seems to have passed in UK, but it was "all the rage" a few years ago, with all the usual ones: "My other car is a Porsche" (which was really funny when I saw this on a Porsche!); "If you can read this you're too ******* close!"; a pair of stickers either side of the bumper labelled "Overtaking Side" and "Suicide"; "Don't laugh at this sticker - it may be your wife inside!" and similar. All of the really good ones were topical, and would not be funny now, I guess, even if my grey cells were up to such a memory feat.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328 |
I like the one that says Eschew Obfuscation.
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Posts: 428
addict
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addict
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 428 |
On the theme of stickers that poke fun at some common religious bumper stickers, I have seen:
JESUS LOVES YOU... everyone else thinks you're an *sshole
and
JESUS SAVES! Gretzky scores on the rebound!
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addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 544 |
A recent favorite of mine asks:
What if the hokey-pokey is what it's all about?
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Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609 |
Like MumbleSquad I haven't seen any good ones lately on cars, but this being a seaside town, I have the opportunity to scan them on the racks next to the kiss-me-quick hats. When I find a good one, I add it to my list of one-liners. Luckily, we seem to have grown out of the "windsurfers do it standing up" genre, they tend to be wife/girl/boy/in-law or motoring related these days. I think I saw these as bumper stickers but I can't be sure. Many of them are recycled quips and quotes anyway.
Jesus saves, Moses invests, but the Mongol Hordes
My ex-wife's other car is a broom.
Polygamy - too many wives; monogamy - the same.
Teenagers - your punishment for enjoying sex.
They also surf who only stand on waves.
Rod
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"My other car is a Porsche" (which was really funny when I saw this on a Porsche!)
years ago (before any of our tax deductions were born and we had to start driving suburbans) we bought a Porsche C2, and thought we'd be clever by adding the license plate frame that's commonly found on rolling wrecks, which reads "Don't Laugh; It's Paid For"
as for bumper stcikers, around here the fad is to boast a sticker that reads "My Kid is an Honors Student at [insert name here] Elementary School". i almost crashed laughing when i first saw the retort on an old chevy: "My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student"
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Anonymous
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only peripherally related, but these somehow reminded me of an email that circulated a couple of years ago, which included (among others) the following Things Not To Say To a Policeman When You've Been Pulled Over:
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.
4. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
5. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
6. Do *you* know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 7. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.
8. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
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