This link is not for those of a delicate disposition, but does, I think, fall into category proposed by musick.
http://www.delphion.com/details?pn=US05501650__


By the way, and this is a very big hint as to what the link contains, the term "wanker" is often coupled (no, I'll rephrase that), is often combined with "useless" to form the phrase "useless wanker", implying that the target in question is both useless and ..er .. useless, rather than useless at .. well, you know what I mean. As in the phrase "Pompey (football team) are nowt but a load of useless wankers". After we found the link above a couple of years back, we used the phrase "he's a one-six-fifty" for a while to imply someone required assistance at the task and hence was a "useless wanker".

Apologies for the blushes
Rod