Spit in my face, you femmes, and peerce my side, Buffet and scoff, scourge and crucifie mee...
Keeping in mind the observation of a later poet about fools rushing in, and without admitting that I have sinn'd and sinn'd, I venture to point out that y'all have been jumping on me for more than I really said.
I certainly didn't say, or believe, that a woman can't be good looking and smart at the same time, O beloved of Jove. Moreover, your comment seems to contain the hidden premise that all women with large breasts are good looking, which I deny. I have eaten in a Hooters more than once (not by my choice), and can tell you that some of the waitresses look more like cows than beauty queens, mainly because of their excessive mammary development (or, possibly, augmentation). Also, while there, I have seen no young women who seemed to be PhD candidates.
In general, the rest of the blasts seem to be saying pretty much the same thing: that just because a young woman takes a waitress job at Hooters, there should be no presumption that she's under genius-level IQ, and only an unregenerate MCP would imply such a notion.
Let's look at this more closely. [Counsel for the defence rises, pushes his wig back off his low brow.] If it please your Ladyships, may I ask you and the jury to consider these points and answer some questions in your own minds: 1. Whom does Hooters hire as waitresses? (We may dispense with the PC term "waitpersons" or other espressions of that ilk, since, to my knowledge, they hire only females for this job.) 2. Assuming they were alive, available, able-bodied and experienced at waiting tables, would Hooters hire Jackie Onassis, the president of Brown University (I forget her name), Helen Gurley Brown, or Katherine Graham? 3. For that matter, would they hire some of the veteran waitresses, who have been waiting tables for years at any of a number of other eating establishments, who resemble somebody's mother? 4. If a young woman had the background or the education of the women mentioned above, and even if she did have bodacious tatas, would she want to work at Hooters? 5. Given what Hooters pays waitresses (diddly-squat, like most restaurants, making tips the waitress's main source of income), would not a young woman as well-endowed intellectually as she would have to be physically be able to do better at some other job where she can use her intellectual qualifications? 6. I believe we may take it as stipulated that Hooters, while ostensibly an equal-opportunity employer, does not hire anyone as a waitress except good looking and well-endowed young women. I submit to your ladyships that if you have given dispassionate consideration to the questions submitted, you will conclude with me that young women with smarts, education, or what is generally considered good background or bringing up, will regard employment at Hooters as either distasteful, immoral perhaps, or insufficiently remunerative considering that they can almost certainly do better elsewhere. And this even if they did happen to possess the Hooters desiderata. So whom does that leave in the pool of possibilities for employment at Hooters?
M'ladies, the defence rests.
[Doffing wig and gown and putting on hardhat and asbestos suit]
And be it remembered that fixation on mammary glands is a form of metonymy for a structure almost one hundred percent therewith associated, but not as acceptably referred to.
Also, while there, I have seen no young women who seemed to be PhD candidates.
Perhaps true. However, how many of the same-aged guys are PhD candidates?
5. Given what Hooters pays waitresses (diddly-squat, like most restaurants, making tips the waitress's main source of income), would not a young woman as well-endowed intellectually as she would have to be physically be able to do better at some other job where she can use her intellectual qualifications?
I've gotta part with ya here, Byb. When I was in school, I knew plenty of intellectually-endowed women taking jobs that paid low but had great flexibility, evening shifts, and other amenities that made college life (for their PhDs perhaps) bearable. Walk around NYU, UCLA, Texas A&M, or other good school, and catch up with those whose parent's aren't paying their way. You'll meet many 3.5 gpa and above waitresses, exotic dancers, newspaper deliverers, and other (what some USns think as)sub-professionals.
Edit: A good example is me. I worked a non-intellectually-stimulating graveyard shift with drug addicts to pay my way through school (with highest honors).
A) So they get paid diddly-squat. What're the tips like?
2) Assuming the tips are good, if any male here had some physical characteristic that caused women to leave him large tips would he be considered intellectually challenged to take advantage of the fact?
Þ) Even assuming the woman in question was less than fully intellectually endowed, is that an excuse for leading her down the garden path?
I believe we may take it as stipulated that Hooters, while ostensibly an equal-opportunity employer, does not hire anyone as a waitress except good looking and well-endowed young women. I submit to your ladyships that if you have given dispassionate consideration to the questions submitted, you will conclude with me that young women with smarts, education, or what is generally considered good background or bringing up, will regard employment at Hooters as either distasteful, immoral perhaps, or insufficiently remunerative considering that they can almost certainly do better elsewhere.
can i live on your planet, bob? a place where woman are all smart and have good breeding and have money-- since it money that enable anyone to make choices.. have you seen the studies-- that show, today-- 35 years after the renewed battle for womans equality, that woman still earn only $0.90 for every $1 a man earns? and that is only if she doesn't take of time in her career for child rearing chores.. If she takes of a year or two-- she cuts her potential salary on average by an other nickle.. $45K per annum, not $50-- and then raises expressed as a % of base.. year after year.. so she will never catch up!
women who have smarts go where the money is.. because no matter what they do, they are still likely to be shortchanged! and on top of that-- management still thinks its great fun to promise a toyota-- and in the same breathe talk about cars, trucks, vans. and deliver a $3.95 toy? tell me who is the brainless person here? who thought they could get away with this? Hooter is not some little resteraunt in no where ville. it is a major corporation, with franchizes all over the US.
for half my working career, i worked the "hardware" side of technology. and got nothing but "you're going to fix the machine? i also considered sueing my employer-- since i got told to my face my management, that "you didn't need the promotion and raise-- you have a husband to support you. You shouldn't even be in this job-- you're keeping some man from a decent job" -- and this was a (at the time) a Fortune 500 company! [/rant]
Here's another Dean's List CoEd who worked her way through college with her share of waitressing and similar positions. And when I finally graduated law school and got a job at a firm, I heard "you are too young/pretty to be a lawyer" and had to work to not be cornered by the firm's important clients at the annual holiday party. I've never been to a Hooters, but I salute those who have come after me who can turn their looks to their own profit. The hassle comes regardless, so you might as well take advantage of it. You go girls!
From the Washington Post Style Invitational in which it was postulated that English has male and female nouns, readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reasons. The best submissions:
Detective Novel -- f., because you're not supposed to peek at its end the minute you pick it up.
Swiss Army Knife -- m., because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
Kidneys -- f., because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
Penlight -- m., because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.
Hammer -- m., because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around and is good for killing spiders.
Tire -- m., because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
Hot air balloon -- m., because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.
Web page -- f., because it is always getting hit on.
Web page -- m., because you have to wait for it to reload.
Shoe -- m., because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
Copier -- f., because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
Magic 8 Ball -- m., because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually indicate it did not pay attention to your question.
Ziploc bags -- m., because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
Sponges -- f., because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
Critic -- f. What, this needs to be explained?
Subway -- m., because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
Hourglass -- f., because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
[thanx (I think) to teD]
p.s. - speaking of hot-air balloons, my lovely bride and I went on a h-ab ride last evening. it was tres cool. the landing was particularly interesting.
"... a loaf of bread, a jug of thine, and WOW" Omar K (miscellaneous sidebar: in addition to "Wow" what other words both begin and end with "w"?) Back to topic, a young man named "Sam Manella" played on DePaul University's basketball team some time ago. One trusts that it is coincidental that Sam Manella is now a lawyer in Chicago.
I was going to let this controversy (not much of one, actually, since it turned out to be decidedly one-sided) drop, particularly since several members had the good sense to introduce a new, or revived, subject and I was going to make my final remarks in PMs; but I decided that since I'm admitting defeat and conceding that quite a few comments posted on the subject have not only demolished my arguments but have provided this old fogey with some valuable insight on modern women, it's only fair that I do so as publicly as I offended. I herewith acknowledge and commend Sparteye, of troy, caradea, Brandon, Flatlander and AnnaStrophic, whose responses are posted above.
I suppose that having once, a very long time ago now, been a college student in need of tmeporary work to help pay expenses, and living as I do in a city with thousands of students in a dozen or more colleges and universities, it should have occurred to me that a young woman might, with propriety and good sense, accept employment at Hooters or in a similar situation. She might also well believe that the offer of a new "Toyota" was genuine, especially if it was verbal and not written or she didn't think she needed to look at a written offer. The story quoted didn't say anything about this; certainly if "new Toyota" was included in a written announcement, then there was fraud, possibly of a criminal nature.
Anyway, ladies and others, I accept your corrections. I certainly hope that no one supposes that I have, in the last 25 years at least, shared the male chauvinist notions that Helen and Sparteye very properly rant about; my wife took care of that. If I have been somewhat naif regarding what modern young women of intellect and integrity may be willing to undertake (besides working heavy construction jobs, or in other jobs once the exclusive domain of men), then you have been a source of enlightenment and delight. And this really is my last word on the subject. [Cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die e'con] Unless some of you want to have another go in the chat room, if we ever get together there again.
That's a handsome statement, BYB, and one that reiterates the magic of this board, where we can all expect to have our presumptions challenged in an enlivening manner. Can't find a way of saying that without a creep of smugness - but what the hell, you are all good company.
Hmmm, I missed this one. We were talking to a waitress a couple of weeks ago who makes $600 per week, mostly in tips. I don't think she takes any of her clothes off, either. Not to be sneezed at!
Here in Oregon there's a town named Boring. Until recently, as one entered town, one was greeted by a sign proclaming, "Boring Gospel Hall." Ah, truth in advertising!
makes $600 per week, mostly in tips. I don't think she takes any of her clothes off, either. Not to be sneezed at!
So what does she take... oh, never mind!
truth in advertising
I think I have mentioned elsewhere the Kent village with a name pronounced by locals to rhyme with ooze but spelled to appear like a rhyme with moose: the sign on the village hall read strangely to visitors' eyes...
Of course, there is now in the news discussion of the couple who has offered to give a corporate name to their as-yet-unborn child in return for a mere $500,000 gratuity. I can see this ten years down the road: "Can anyone give me an example of irony? Yes, Trojan?"
I just remembered that the name of the family that started the Toyota Motor Company was Toyoda. A numerologist convinced them that the car would sell better if they changed the name to Toyota.
I just remembered that the name of the family that started the Toyota Motor Company was Toyoda. A numerologist convinced them that the car would sell better if they changed the name to Toyota.
Honest to God, here in Chicago we now or recently have these four politicians in high elective office(warning: lightly blue): Dick Phalen, President of Cook County Board Dick Hardigan, Illinois Attorney General Dick Devine, Cook County States Attorney, and Hizzoner Dick Daley, Mayor of Chicago
Here's one specially for Sparteye: NPR had a segment this evening on a book about a "woods cop", i.e., a conservation officer, who has a territory in the U.P. of Michigan. The author of the book was being interviewed and noted that the woods cop "is known to have a problem with authority -- he tends to be a lone shark". (I guess that's the spelling to use; he certainly didn't mean "loan shark". Maybe he dances with sharks.)
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and dean's list every semester.
