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I'm with you, Faldage. We have to use a bit of common humanity in our use of language and not go to war over every little difference, because ultimately none of us speak the same language. The features we share differ from context to context, the features that vary we can discuss with interest, but above all we have to have enough respect for our fellow sufferers to try and understand their substantive points, as well as taking pleasure or amusement from their choice of language. An allied point in a discussion about questions ranged over recent weeks at Mike & Melanie's site: http://www.takeourword.com/TOW127/page4.html#would(see the previous week for the original Curmudgeon's Corner piece) A (courteous) war on curmudgeons! and architectificationists
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I was referring to a total stranger making a request. In that situation, the polite forms seem desirable. With family and friends they are less important, but still worth teaching children to prevent their suffering needless rejection by those to whom manners are still important. And I am happy to note that maverick by an alias if now famous, having contributed to M&M.
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AnnaS writes In reply to:
Mmmm-hmmm! Y'all come back now!
This is a short form of the famous deep-Southern version of au revoir, which I have actually heard used, which goes, Y'all come back real soon now, y'heah?!
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We have to use a bit of common humanity in our use of language and not go to war over every little difference
Aunt mav, you are so wise! This holds not only for our use of language, but for everything we do, really. We cannot control what other people say or do, but we can control what WE do. My grandfather had a neat saying: "If it suits you, it suits me". I may privately rant over someone doing/saying something that offends my sensibilities, but I sure as heck don't have the right to tell him how he ought to change! One of the best maxims I have ever heard came from a former pastor (I've posted this before, I think): There is nothing that can happen to a man that is as important as how he reacts to it. If someone says, "ain't", I cringe inwardly, but would never think of correcting them.
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It's lovely to have you back properly, Jackie. I mean, I understand about CK an all, but it just ain't fair....
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Can I ask you a question?
I think the point we're missing here about my initial post is that I was referring to the obnoxious habit of lacing one's conversation with that phrase for about every other sentence in an arrogant, intrusive manner in indicating that "I'm gonna ask you this question whether you like it or not, sucker!" and then leaping instantly to the question...an affectation of speech that many New Yorkers and New York area folks have adopted as a way, they think, of being forceful and intimidating! There is no politeness intended here in any way, shape, or form...perhaps CapitalK will, unfortunately, encounter one of these interrogationally challenged individuals when they enter said areas. My initial post still stands...if you heard it used this way, you'd be right with me!
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I mean, I understand about CK an all, but it just ain't fair.... Thank you, sweet maverick! Get in touch upon your return, won't you? Let's have a tryst and some intercourse*. *Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary--intercourse 2: exchange especially of thoughts or feelings
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Good story, Bingley! Whit., I hear that question here, too, sometimes. It does grate on me, for two reasons: A., it's bad grammar; and B., it's such a waste! (Most of the time, that is: when I say, "May I ask you a question?", I am literally asking for permission.) I'll happily take your word for it re: the intent of New Yorkers.[terror emoticon] interrogationally challenged--I love it!
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