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Having been travelling across the US (in both directions), Sandra and I have noticed one very interesting linguistic trait. It's s-o-o-o-o important, I thought I'd better get your take(s) on it.
When you say "thank you" in restaurants or shops in the west, the instant response from service industry people is "You're welcome". As we move further east, this is gradually being replaced by "Mmmm - mmmm". Yesterday in Arkansas, it was about 50/50.
Any thoughts? Is everyone in the east totally syllabically challenged?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I have heard "Mmm-Hmm" as an alternative to "you're welcome," but the traditional "you're welcome" is usually the rule here in Vermont, anyway. A friend visiting from NYC last weekend was taken aback when the drive-thru attendant at a fast-food place said "you're welcome" as we pulled away. He nearly fainted when I told him that the people who work at the Department of Motor Vehicles are courteous and helpful.
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Actually, NY's DMV had gotten to be very nice-- fast, effecient service.. (no thank you's yet-- but in and out in under 30 minutes-- and i don't need a thank you.. )It used to take days to get new plates or a driver licence. Really, more than once, i had to make 2 trips to get something done--combine that with travel time, and a 1 to 2 hour wait on line.. it was days.
But the Parking Violations is still g** awful! and should you ever get your car towed-- well, when you die, you will go straight on to heaven-- since you will have already serverd time in HELL!
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Actually, NY's DMV had gotten to be very nice-- fast, effecient service.. (no thank you's yet-- but in and out in under 30 minutes-- and i don't need a thank you.. )It used to take days to get new plates or a driver licence. Really, more than once, i had to make 2 trips to get something done--combine that with travel time, and a 1 to 2 hour wait on line.. it was days.
But the Parking Violations is still g** awful! and should you ever get your car towed-- well, when you die, you will go straight on to heaven-- since you will have already served time in HELL!
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In N.H. you hear "you're welcome" or sometimes just "welcome."
In Maine I have heard the ubiquitous "Ay-yuh" as a recognition of your thanks.
Alert Those not born to the use and the many inflections for the varied meanings of Ay-yuh should not attempt to use it!
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Around here, if someone was thanking you perfunctorily, you'd always say 'you're welcome', but if the person was expressing sincere gratitude (eg: Thanks for picking me up; i really appreciate it) the more common response would be "No worries" (or "No problem").
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"Any thoughts? Is everyone in the east totally syllabically challenged?"
Dear CK Having spent most of my life in small town New England, my impression is that the behaviour to which you refer is a fairly typical tendency to laconicism.
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typical tendency to laconicism
Ay-yu'.
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wwh >>typical tendency to laconicism
faldage >> Ay-yu'
Just hadda' try, dincha ...
if the person was expressing sincere gratitude (eg: Thanks for picking me up; i really appreciate it) the more common response would be "No worries" or "No problem".
Re sincere gratitude : In response : "No problem" ... or "Not a bit of it" ... or "Don't be silly" ... or "My pleasure" ... or "Think nothing of it."
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typical tendency to laconicism
Ay-yu'
Just hadda' try, dincha ...
Ay-eh'
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"Ah-yuh"
Read Eugene O'Neill's play, "Desire Under The Elms," for an interesting study in early New England dialect.
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Ay-yuh
Northern English dialect has a similar use of Aye to signify assent - but it also has a range of inflections that carry a host of sub-texts inside them.
I have inherited the Home-Counties-cum-West-Country affirmative form of, "Oh-arr" (the further West you go, the more "rrrrr"s there are - and the longer the "Oh" lasts!) which also has a range of tonal values corresponding to different meanings.
Come to thnink of it, you can say, "yes" in a whole range of ways,can't you?
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I regret to say that more and more around here, you hear "No problem" as a perfunctory response to "Thank you" instead of the traditional "You're welcome". This is mostly from young people working as checkout clerks, or at fast food outlets, snowball stands, etc. I hate it.
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RE:Come to thnink of it, you can say, "yes" in a whole range of ways,can't you?
yeah, sure, (she said cynically) I find I use yeah or other words of affirmation more than Yes. Okay?
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Not that different from (than?) "Think nothing of it," or "It was nothing."
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CapK, when you reach the Southeast you'll see both "You're welcome" and "Mmm-hmmm" still in use but increasingly supplanted by "Y'all come back now, y'heah?"*
Also notice a lot more use of "sir" and "ma'am."
---
*I'm not kidding!
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Bobyb regrets to say that more and more around here, you hear "No problem" as a perfunctory response to "Thank you" instead of the traditional "You're welcome". This is mostly from young people working as checkout clerks, or at fast food outlets, snowball stands, etc. I hate it.
I hate "no problem" as much as I do "Enjoy!" And when a waitron comes to take your plate but first asks, "Are you still working on that?" I want to stand up and scream, "this is not work!!"
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My first encounter with "No problem" was in an article in Reader's Digest many years ago. The author heard a young man asked to do something that was going to require his making a considerable effort. His reponse was "No problem" a suffiently gracious response that it prompted the article. Unfortunately like so many once gracious reponses it has been overworked.
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Another common expression in lieu of "you're welcome" in the tri-state area of my formative experience (NJ, NY, PA) is "aw, don't even think about it!"
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In reply to:
Come to thnink of it, you can say, "yes" in a whole range of ways,can't you?
This brings to mind the (possibly apocryphal) story of an eminent professor of linguistics who at some learned gathering or other read a complex paper describing how although many languages were known where two negative words in a sentence made a positive statement, no example had ever been found of a language where two positives made a sentence negative. When he finished, and before the moderator could ask for questions, a voice was heard from the assembled lesser lights standing at the back of room: "yeah, yeah."
Bingley
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Likewise "How do you do?"
"How do I do what?!?!" I want to scream.
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Likewise "How do you do?"
"How do I do what?!?!" I want to scream.
So scream, and they'll hope you do very poorly.
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"How do you do?"
"Better than being home sick abed on two chairs."
"Been better, been worse."
"So's to be up and about."
___________________________________
And if you visit "Down Maine," you may be asked : "Do you think they'll have it?"
My favorite answer : "Looks like it ...saw them with the rope."
Care to jump in ?
The question is (ambiguosness encouraged)
"Do you think they'll have it?"
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Likewise "Can I ask you a question?" to which I always want to scream "You just did, idiot!" or "No! No! No! You cannot ask me a question, ever! Ha!"
By the way, this particular waste of linguistic breath seems to usually be a New York City thang.hi, of troy
Edit: Why did the font size change in the middle of this post?
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My husband works in a bookstore (well, until next Sunday), and his favourite is... Him: "Can I help you?" Customer: "I'm looking for...a book..." DUH! Why else would you be in a bookstore!?!?!?! This is now a running joke among the employees. 
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I used to spend a lot of time in bookstores, seldom with any clearcut idea of what I wanted. So there was no way a salesperson, no matter how well motivated could help me, no way I tell him anything except: "I'm just browsing, thanks."
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WhitmanO'Niell thinks "Can I ask you a question?" is a particular waste of linguistic breath.
I agree that on paper, this phrase does look absurd. In fact, in real life, it is strange to hear that and really think about it. That it is a waste of breath? Hmmm.
I'm a big fan of H. P. Grice and his maxims for successfuly negoiating discourse. English speakers typically avoid confrontation and over-directness by saying things like "It's cold in here" to prompt us to close the door. Following Grice's maxim of relevance, we link the two together and understand the implicit request.
"Can I ask you a question" gives the listener an opportunity to signal that he is not currently interested in talking. I consider it a polite introduction rather than a waste of breath. Now let me ask you a question...Oh, you are leaving. I guess you must be busy...
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" Can I ask you a question"
What ever became of "May I ask you a question" ? or with potentially hostile persons, "Please, may I ask you a question??
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May I ask you a question
The only times I remember this word being used "properly" was when the prescriptive grammarians were exhorting us to use it properly (but *not when they were using it in normal discourse) and in the children's game Mother, May I.
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" Can I ask you a question?" Of course you can since your vocal apparatus is working. But that does not mean I need take the trouble to answer you. Perhaps a bit of courtesy might motivate me to answer.
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AMEN, AMEN!!! And do the same servers (what ever happened to waiter/waitress) come up to your table asking "what can I get you guys?"
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Perhaps a bit of courtesy
And is it courteous to willfully misunderstand someone simply because that person's use of the language does not match yours?
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Courtesy begets courtesy. Those who scorn courtesy need not expect to be shown courtesy. Unless one chooses to condescend to the ignorant. Sometimes I do, but sometimes I do not.
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Bean's hunsband: "Can I help you?"
Customer: "I'm looking for...a book..." Yep, it's become a running joke at the bookstore where I work, too... (maybe we know each other?  )
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Courtesy begets courtesy. Those who scorn courtesy need not expect to be shown courtesy. Unless one chooses to condescend to the ignorant. Sometimes I do, but sometimes I do not.Hope I fit in your second category, Dr Bill  in ignorant bliss
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Dear AnnaStrophic: I am not sure how you numbered the categories. Outside of our different views of what is appropriate for Miscellany, and my occasional lapses into ribaldry, I hope I have not given you offense.
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Ha! Until I got to post 20-odd in this thread I started so casually, I thought that the thread might stay on topic. Thanks for ensuring that my expectations of it wobbling off course were met so promptly!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Dr Bill,
I can see I wasn't clear.
Category a) sometimes you condescend to the ignorant.
Category 2) sometimes you don't.
I'm happy to remain in the second category.
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Ha! Until I got to post 20-odd in this thread I started so casually, I thought that the thread might stay on topic. Thanks for ensuring that my expectations of it wobbling off course were met so promptly! Mmm-hmmm! Y'all come back now!
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We're all ignorant about something, Dr. Bill. We all learned our language initially (and at a level that we may even call instinctive) from listening to others using it, in the earliest stages, mostly our parents. If they had used may instead of can in the context of asking permission they wouldn't have had to berate us about our so-called misuse of the terms later. I think that treating a simple request to interrupt one's privacy for the purpose of getting what may well be critical information as a discourtesy is indicative of a greater discourtesy. Think of people's intent and don't hold them to standards that have slipped years ago. I could accept regarding "Hey pops! Tell me something." as being discourteous, but not "Can I ask you a question?"
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I'm with you, Faldage. We have to use a bit of common humanity in our use of language and not go to war over every little difference, because ultimately none of us speak the same language. The features we share differ from context to context, the features that vary we can discuss with interest, but above all we have to have enough respect for our fellow sufferers to try and understand their substantive points, as well as taking pleasure or amusement from their choice of language. An allied point in a discussion about questions ranged over recent weeks at Mike & Melanie's site: http://www.takeourword.com/TOW127/page4.html#would(see the previous week for the original Curmudgeon's Corner piece) A (courteous) war on curmudgeons! and architectificationists
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I was referring to a total stranger making a request. In that situation, the polite forms seem desirable. With family and friends they are less important, but still worth teaching children to prevent their suffering needless rejection by those to whom manners are still important.
And I am happy to note that maverick by an alias if now famous, having contributed to M&M.
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AnnaS writes In reply to:
Mmmm-hmmm! Y'all come back now!
This is a short form of the famous deep-Southern version of au revoir, which I have actually heard used, which goes, Y'all come back real soon now, y'heah?!
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We have to use a bit of common humanity in our use of language and not go to war over every little difference
Aunt mav, you are so wise! This holds not only for our use of language, but for everything we do, really. We
cannot control what other people say or do, but we can control what WE do. My grandfather had a neat saying:
"If it suits you, it suits me". I may privately rant over someone doing/saying something that offends my sensibilities, but I sure as heck don't have the right to tell him how he ought to change! One of the best maxims I have ever heard came from a former pastor (I've posted this before, I think): There is nothing that can happen to a man that is as important as how he reacts to it.
If someone says, "ain't", I cringe inwardly, but would never think of correcting them.
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It's lovely to have you back properly, Jackie. I mean, I understand about CK an all, but it just ain't fair....
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Can I ask you a question?
I think the point we're missing here about my initial post is that I was referring to the obnoxious habit of lacing one's conversation with that phrase for about every other sentence in an arrogant, intrusive manner in indicating that "I'm gonna ask you this question whether you like it or not, sucker!" and then leaping instantly to the question...an affectation of speech that many New Yorkers and New York area folks have adopted as a way, they think, of being forceful and intimidating! There is no politeness intended here in any way, shape, or form...perhaps CapitalK will, unfortunately, encounter one of these interrogationally challenged individuals when they enter said areas. My initial post still stands...if you heard it used this way, you'd be right with me!
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I mean, I understand about CK an all, but it just ain't fair.... Thank you, sweet maverick! Get in touch upon your return, won't you? Let's have a tryst and some intercourse*.  *Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary--intercourse 2: exchange especially of thoughts or feelings
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Good story, Bingley! Whit., I hear that question here, too, sometimes. It does grate on me, for two reasons: A., it's bad grammar; and B., it's such a waste! (Most of the time, that is: when I say, "May I ask you a question?", I am literally asking for permission.) I'll happily take your word for it re: the intent of New Yorkers.[terror emoticon] interrogationally challenged--I love it!
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