One of the columnists in the local newspaper wrote today about an interview with the chairman of the Dept. of English at a local community college. The prof. is complalining about the English skills of H.S. graduates starting at his college. He compiled a list of horrid examples which he has seen just in the last semester or so. Herewith a selection:
"Some people use bad language and is not even aware of the fact."
"Romeo and Juliet exchanged their vowels."
"The French benefits of this job are good."
"I was absent on Monday because I was stopped on the Beltway for erotic driving."
"Just imagine not being able to feel a lover's worm kiss."
"Willie Loman put Biff on a petal stool."
"Michaelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteeenth Chapel."
"Pople who murder a lot of people are called masked murderers."
"The children of lesbian couples receive just as much neutering as those of other couples."
"In this field of study [mortuary science] there's a great need for morgulititions now a days because of all the people dying."
"If parents beat their children, it hurts the child's sense of steam."
"She lived next store."
"Jogging on a woman's ovaries can be dangerous to her health."
"Society has moved toward cereal killers."
"In 'Grapes of Wrath', Jim Casey's death is like a crucafixation."
"It's really uncomfortable to be all squished up in the back seat of a limo with a full length Kremlin under your skirt."
Asked to use the past tense of "fly" in a sentence, one scholar wrote, "I flought to Chicago."
Then there's their knowledge of history:
"Benjamin Franklin discovered America while fling a kite."
"Christopher Columbus sailed all over the world until he found Ohio."
