#34541
07/04/2001 2:38 AM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
One of the columnists in the local newspaper wrote today about an interview with the chairman of the Dept. of English at a local community college. The prof. is complalining about the English skills of H.S. graduates starting at his college. He compiled a list of horrid examples which he has seen just in the last semester or so. Herewith a selection:
"Some people use bad language and is not even aware of the fact."
"Romeo and Juliet exchanged their vowels."
"The French benefits of this job are good."
"I was absent on Monday because I was stopped on the Beltway for erotic driving."
"Just imagine not being able to feel a lover's worm kiss."
"Willie Loman put Biff on a petal stool."
"Michaelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteeenth Chapel."
"Pople who murder a lot of people are called masked murderers."
"The children of lesbian couples receive just as much neutering as those of other couples."
"In this field of study [mortuary science] there's a great need for morgulititions now a days because of all the people dying."
"If parents beat their children, it hurts the child's sense of steam."
"She lived next store."
"Jogging on a woman's ovaries can be dangerous to her health."
"Society has moved toward cereal killers."
"In 'Grapes of Wrath', Jim Casey's death is like a crucafixation."
"It's really uncomfortable to be all squished up in the back seat of a limo with a full length Kremlin under your skirt."
Asked to use the past tense of "fly" in a sentence, one scholar wrote, "I flought to Chicago."
Then there's their knowledge of history:
"Benjamin Franklin discovered America while fling a kite."
"Christopher Columbus sailed all over the world until he found Ohio."
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#34542
07/04/2001 2:47 AM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
I want me some of them French benefits!*
*Preferably the kind with ribs.
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#34543
07/04/2001 7:50 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609 |
Romeo and Juliet exchanged their vowelsas good a description of deep kissing as I ever heard  ! Rod
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#34544
07/04/2001 5:19 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 275
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 275 |
"She lived next store."
Except for a couple of missing words, this is actually an epitaph for a woman who shopped 'til she dropped.
"She lived for the next store"
chronist
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#34545
07/05/2001 11:16 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027 |
Almost too funny to be authentic! If the authors of these pearls are still looking for a job, they could make a career in Science Studies ..
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#34546
07/05/2001 1:29 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771 |
...or President of the United States...
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#34547
07/05/2001 7:15 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
I'd say erotic driving sounds like a French benefit.
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#34548
07/06/2001 11:31 AM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Society has moved toward cereal killers.
Hello, what are Kelloggs up to now?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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#34549
07/06/2001 12:00 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 275
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 275 |
"If parents beat their children, it hurts the child's sense of steam."
On a hot summer day and with the air conditioner not working, this might not be a bad thing.
chronist
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#34550
07/10/2001 3:20 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
I hear you, Bob! Here's a couple of figures from a study just released a few days ago: A nationwide (USA) phone survey of 1,020 youngsters ages 12 to 17 was conducted may 31 to June 5 and has a margin of error of plus or minus 3 percentage points. One in 10 did not know that George Washington was the first president. 17 percent did not know there were 13 original colonies. 15 percent did not know the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776!!! Nearly one in 4 did not know who fought in the Civil War!!! And 13 percent thought it was the United States and Britain!  One in 5 did not know the answer to the question, "From what country did America declare its independence?"
22 percent did not know the answer is England. 14 percent thought it was France!  The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation commissioned the survey, and its president, Colin Campbell observed, "When you look at these numbers, it means that more than 5 million U.S. teenagers don't understand the true meaning of Independence Day." Okay, all you Brits on the board, go ahead and have a field day with this one...I guess we deserve it! 
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#34551
07/10/2001 3:35 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#34552
07/10/2001 1:17 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Are there no teachers among us to tell of the horrible problems they have to contend with? Far too many kids in each class, tyrannized by a goofy bunch of eggheads trying to juggle their political problems, and the great majority of parents who do little to help. I was a school physician for a year in the late forties. I had one mother complain to me that the teacher was not teaching her child good manners. And another who was furious that she was prevented from going to Boston shopping when I sent her kid home because of high temp from scarlet fever. Teachers have to take an awful lot of crap.I knew of instances of janitors getting paid better than the teachers.
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#34553
07/10/2001 2:38 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
Well said, Bill. I think in education, perhaps above all, we don't get what we don't pay for. I'll give you a case in point from an article in the UK Times Education Supplement which is a weekly authoritavie guide for professionals. A senior highly trained and highly experienced teacher kept an accurate log of time expended over marking examination scripts against what he was paid for the task (a per unit rate) - it amounted to around $5 per hour which his teenage son was surpassing working in a bar.
Now, I don't know the detail of what it's currently like in the States, but I do know that teaching as a profession has suffered an almost endless spiral of disapprobation by society at large over the last 80 years. In the UK we pay a newly qualified teacher, to whom we largely entrust the major civilising influence on our future generations, far less than the lowest rank in the army, the police force, the social workers and prison officers into whose subsequent care those who fail in school will probably fall..... Now, if we truly valued the role of education in our societies, rather than just paying lip service when looking for someone to blame, perhaps this could not remain true for long.
[/rant]
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#34554
07/10/2001 4:14 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094 |
Whitman, those are bad, but my dad taught science for a while and he said that some of his students simply could not understand that the earth was not flat. And these were high schoolers.
And in my school district, becuase of their complaining, the bus drivers are paid better than the secretaries.
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#34555
07/10/2001 6:09 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
The word "Continental" in Max's note refers to the specie issued by the Continental Congress during the War of Independence, which was virtually worthless, since there was nothing to back it. Part of the greatness of George Washington as a military man was that he managed to retain as many of his soldiers as he did when they were being paid in worthless currency, besides needing to go home to get their crops in or help harvest them.
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#34556
07/10/2001 6:39 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
The word "Continental" in Max's note refers to the specie issued by the Continental Congress during the War of
Independence, which was virtually worthless, since there was nothing to back it.
specie
n.
abl. of L species: used in E from occurrence in the phrase (paid) in specie coin, as distinguished from paper money; also, coin made of precious, as distinguished from base, metal in specie.
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#34557
07/11/2001 7:17 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609 |
the specie issued by the Continental Congress during the War of Independence, which was virtually worthless
and the Confederacy had a problem with raising money during the Civil War. They raised loans repayable in Sterling or French francs, partly to reduce the interest they would have to pay, and partly to get some non-participants in Europe who would have a vested interest in the Confederacy winning, and hopefully provide aid.
Rod
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