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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
OK, y'all riddlers asked for it: -How many sociologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Twelve, enough to form a committee to write a working paper on "Coping with the Dark"-How many sopranos does it take? One to hold it and the rest of us to revolve around her.-How many WASPs? (I can ask this because I pretty much am one, when I'm not being an ASp  ) Two: one to call the electrician and the other to mix the martinis.As a member of the de facto gutter police I'd like to keep this thread away from the original joke *as *well *as non-offensive in general (yeah, right, road to hell paved with good intentions, etc usw but once one of you miscreants begins the descent I'll gleefully join in) Have at!
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the bulb has really got to want to change ...
How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
100 - one to hold the bulb and 99 to turn da house!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
OK, CapK. You're the big California expert now, having been through there and taken the subway and everthang, but.
A) It's not How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
2) It's How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
And the answer is
Þ) Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055 |
How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two ! One, two ! One, two !
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 163
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 163 |
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- We don't. That's a hardware problem.
- How many programmers does it take to wall-paper a room?
- Twelve, but you have to slice them thinly.
- How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
- Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094 |
It's How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
No no no, it only takes one to screw it in, but it's not like he can use it. There's no power left to turn it on!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
I have never seen a time and motion study on Californians screwing in lightbulbs. But millions of them screwed up the whole power system by thinking that 8 cents a kwh was a fair price. I never paid less than 12 cents per kwh in the East, and can't figure out how the Californians thought that they were entitled to pay only 8 cents.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094 |
Ok, here's a website that has more lightbulb jokes that you can imagine. I think they cover all the bases, here are a couple pertinent examples:
Q: How many lexicographers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to protest that he should have changed it to "light bulb".
Q: How many merkins does it take to replace a light-bulb?
A: One, if you screw 'em in tight enough.
Q: How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1 to complain that the lightbulb isn't working, 5 to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it, 20 to form an expedition to the fabled Lightbulb Mines of Mythrill, 30 to throw a going-away party, 1 to ask Gandalf for directions, 1 to sell into slavery when the directions aren't stuck to, and they end up in entirely the wrong part of the country, and ready cash runs low, 5 get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers, monsters, etc,) 1 to be thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb hoarde, 1 to be thrown to the dragon to cover the retreat, 2 to carry the box of lightbulbs, 5 to find a large, sword-wielding barbarian to escort them home with the lightbulbs, another 30 to throw a safe-return party, 5 to get rid of the barbarian, who in typical style, got drunk at the party, 5 to find an Elf in the neighbourhood tall enough to change the lightbulb, one elf, and 5 to compose ballads of derring-do, heroism, sacrifice and lightbulbs. A grand total of 118.
http://www.laughnet.net/archive/jokes/lightbul.htm
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
" How many merkins does it take to replace a light-bulb?"
I have heard of blond pubic wigs, but never one sufficiently fluorescent to light up a room.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 508
addict
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addict
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 508 |
Ok, here's a website that has more lightbulb jokes that you can imagineI'm speechless at the amount of time, energy and brain  power invested in lightbulb jokes! Don't know whether it's evidence of colossal creativity or having waaaay too much time on your hands. (That's generalized "you," Jazz, not you personally  .)
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