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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027 |
A wise man in France told me in the year 1967, and it stuck in my memory: "la politique est la sauce à laquelle on nous met pour nous manger"
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
Growing up in a "blended" family (Cinderella's wicked "blended"mother?), in which only one parent had a passion for Indian foods, such delights were rare. Hence I am constantly tormented by the delicious aromas that pervade the homes of my subcontintental friends and acquaintances. I am also a big fan of the late Freddie Mercury.In homage to both of these interests, I proffer the folowing, which I received some time ago, from a source now forgotten. As you read it, please sing it to yourself, to the tune of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody
Subject: INDIAN CURRY RHAPSODY
Naan, just killed a man
poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun
But now I'm gonna crap it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
Seen nothing yet just see the loo tomorrow
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Rectum aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh
This doopiaza is so mild
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.
<<guitar solo>>
I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicy
Meat!
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan
(A vindaloo loo loo loo)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back
'Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes
There it goes
Technicolor yawn
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder, it's coming back again (There he goes)
Coming back again (up again)
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, Oh, there he goes
This vindaloo
Is about to wreck my guts
Poor me.. poor me...poor meee!
<<guitar solo
So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe, But now you'll puke like a baby
Just had to come out
It just had to come right out in here.
<<guitar solo>>
[slow bit}
Korma, sag or bhuna
bhaji, balti or naan
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference
To meee....
Anyway, the wind blows....shshshsh
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
MAX, that is utterly disGUSTing, she said, after picking herself up off the floor from laughing so hard!
Beats "On Top of Spaghetti" all to 'pieces'!
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
> Ahhh... brings back the memories of nayya dosa and podi. (Do they have that in > Bangalore, Avy?) Sorry shanks, I am always late in on everything. No, we don't get Nayya Dosas in the restaurants here. We get Appams. Appams and hot mutton stew is what many Bangaloreans go out to eat as their Sunday breakfast (Heavy - yes, but delicious!). In Kerala you get toddy Appams, the taste of which is of the heavens. Max :  I laughed a lot, but was that Farookh who just stirred?
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
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OP
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
I loved your Bohemian Masala, Max. I've circulated to some fo my friends (I'll let you know if they are still speaking to me). It fits the tune so well!
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
Oy, you gents were not privy to the ballots drawn up by Québec`s ruling party for our referendums (an election type vote system where the population is polled for their opinion)
For some twenty years, the Parti Québécois (do NOT call them the Québec Party as they will all stone you to death - and your children too - for translating a French name into English) has been trying to convince the Québec population that it would be in their best interests to separate from Canada.
In order to confuse the people in general, and the older generation in particular (most being nationalists), the referendum votes - known as "The Questions" are generally phrased something like this...
"do you not agree with a possibility that can perhaps be considered that we hold a discussion as to the situation of Québec"
Yes or no.
It can take months just to get them to word the question in a bit of a clearer fashion.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Flour-- Read Joy of Cooking (cookbook) chapter on Know your ingredients About flour.
All purpose flour is just that, generally good for most things.
Soft (or Cake flour) is flour that has been milled from a "soft" variety of wheat
Bread Flour is milled from "hard" wheat.
Gluten, a protein of wheat is what defines hard and soft. For Bread, you want gluten, it forms the elastic structure that the yeast works against, and allows the bread to rise. It also give the bread is nice chewy texture.
For cake, you don't want nice chewy texture, you want tender crumbs, for the cake to just hold together. Two factors at work, low gluten and low agitation (you don't "knead" a cake or even mix it for 10 or 15 minutes, as you do with bread)
Winter wheat (wheat sown in the fall, that winters over, and is harvest early in the spring) tend to be a hard wheat. Wondra flour, which is sold in a canister, and marketed as being perfect for thickening gravy and sause, is the the hardest wheat. if you just take some samples, and feel the flour, (cake, all purpose, bread and Wondra) you can actually feel that some flour is softer. Face powder used to be made from (and still often is) wheat flour. if you put some cake flour in you hands, and feel it, and then some wondra, you would quickly realize, you'd want cake flour for your face! you can feel the softness.
And as for buttermilk, you can in most american stores buy small cans of dried powdered buttermilk. It need to be refrigerated after opening, (just like powdered whole milk), but it stays usable for 6 month to a year.
and since this is a word site, and not a cooking class, here is an interesting tidbit, the word Knead is related to the word Lady-- but i don't remember all the detail of the relationship. (this little fact was also in Joy of Cooking!) perhaps some one with a reference library at hand can assist.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
> the word Knead is related to the word Lady
submitted without further comment:
ME lady, lavedi, lafji from OE hlæfdige, from hlaf (bread) + dige (from root of a prehistoric word meaning to knead); akin to OE dæge - maid, kneader of bread
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
thank you tsuwm! I was always the lady of my house, and baked all the bread.
Of course its easy to be a lady in this country, since in america even a char woman can be a cleaning lady!
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
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OP
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
Thnaks for the information.
As I want to bring some flour home with me I just thought I'd check out your advice. First, I buy flour and put it in small plastic bags, so it doesn't explode everywhere. Then I rub some cake flour over my face (to check I have the right one) and then I go through customs. I'm sure it will be fine.
I am a little worried by US Customs. I travelled back though the Canadian border once. There was a big sign telling people not to make any jokes. Then they started askign me lots of questions about fruit - very strange. I had to eat the apple I was carrying before I was allowed in. Are Canadian apples all that bad? Oh well I suppose it only takes one bad apple.
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