the one constant thorn in my side, and will probably end up as the epitaph on my (misspelled, no doubt) headstone.

Well, Sweet Max, you could: change your name to something unmistakable; or--pre-order your headstone so you can "edit"
it!
There's a popular--make that frequent--ad on TV here, whose
"signature" line is, "What do you want on your Tombstone?"