I got her a Deepest Sympathy card instead

My mother had many foreign visitors to stay, some with little English. One pair gave her a present to thank her for the hospitality as they left complete with an "In loving memory" card.

My kids learnt early on to make their own cards, rather than spend hard earned (well negotiated, anyway) pocket money on such trivia. I'm sorry to admit to the copyright lawyers amongst you, that this didn't stop them from pawing over all the cards in Hallmark and the like to find a good joke, which they would duly adapt as necessary. In our downstairs cloakroom (loo), we have a framed collection of about 20 of the best. Unfortunately, only the fronts are visible, and I can't remember the punch lines of all of them. But I stare at them for a few moments a few times a day . One I still love is the (original so © my son) Birthday card my son made for my wife, on the lines of the "Mots; D'Heure; Gousse; Rames" false french parodies. The first line is:

A pied, Bert* est toux yeux

with the footnote "* an alert but horseless folk hero"

Rod