The things you learn ...

Here is a link to a script of the speech given by Mr Samuel Clemens to the Stomach Club in Paris in 1879 on the subject of onanism.

http://www.ralphmag.org/onan.html

Who knew?

Leading me to contemplate the seemingly infinite euphemisms for onanism. In my experience (er, hmmmm, that doesn't sound right), nearly any phrase containing a verb and a noun can be interpreted as indicating a one-handed party. How many can we list?

spanking the monkey
beating the meat
____________ ?