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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack, Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."Dammit, Satin, my sides are hurting! WHERE did you find this one?  [tears-streaming-down-the-cheeks -e]
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Feb 2001
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He wants to borrow $30,000.00
not a shaggy dog, but a true story. Recently, Nick Roveta, a university student in UK, asked his bank for an overdraft of GBP £150. The letter confirming this stated "I am pleased to inform you that an overdraft limit of £30,651,575 has been arranged on your account. I hope you will find this helpful."
If only my bank were so helpful.
Rod
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
"I am pleased to inform you that an overdraft limit of £30,651,575 has been arranged on your account. I hope you will find this helpful."What a great bank. At today's exchange rate, he could have bought Zild for that, and then bludged off the IMF when repayment time came around. 
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
The following was so awful, I just had to share it. Come back TEd! Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally, one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hit the water and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that the same lightning force could change him back into a prawn. Lightning never strikes twice except in stories like this, but while he was thinking of being a prawn again, a flash of lightning struck the water next to Justin and, lo and behold, he turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.(The punchline does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse!). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark" came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate, the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted,"It's me,Justin, your old friend. Come out and see me again." Christian replied, "No way, man. You'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy. I will not be tricked ". Justin cried back "No I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed......... .... I'm a prawn again, Christian...!!!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Max, that was shrimply terrible!
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
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Yup. He deserves a shellacking for it.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
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Yup. He deserves a shellacking for it.
Oh, no--such a drastic solution is imprawnderable.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
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Yup. He deserves a shellacking for it.
Oh, no--such a drastic solution is imprawnderable
"Just don't krill him, or you'll be in a whale of a lot of trouble," said Rumpole of the Baleen.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
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Uh oh. There's something dead fishy about the tone of this thread now! [sniff-sniff -e]
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
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I searched AWAD and didn't find it already posted so here goes. A man was driving late one night and caught in his headlights was a rabbit. The man tried to swerve to avoid it but the rabbit jumped too, and the man felt the thump. He stopped and got out, and there just in front of the car was the rabbit, dead. Being a wimp, sorry, a compassionate human being, the man started crying. Just then another car drove up, and stopped. The woman driver saw that the man was crying over the dead rabbit and said "Don't worry - I can fix that!" and reached into her handbag (purse in US?), took out an aerosol can, and sprayed the rabbit. After a few seconds the rabbit started moving, shook itself and started hopping down the road, stopping every few feet to turn and wave at them until it disappeared in the distance. "That was amazing!" said the man, "What was in the can?" The woman showed him the label and the man read "Revives Dead Hair, Adds Permanent Wave".  Rod
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