#26686
04/22/2001 4:01 AM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Help meeee.... help meeeeeeee...Ah, no flies on you, then! 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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#26687
04/30/2001 12:48 PM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609 |
I came across this old (November 97) but absolutely true example in our office from my archived humour file. I'll leave you to guess the real word Rachel meant to use.
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From: Rachel ******** IGNAS OPERATIONS
Hello
This evening at 5pm Procord will start work on bringing
in a duck from the corridor into the print room.
Please be aware this will make quite a lot of noise.
Thanks, Rachel
====================================================
Rod
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#26688
04/30/2001 1:02 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Dear Rod,
I guess this memo has been inducted into your humor
hall of fame, she quacked. Ducts relieve miasma...
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#26689
04/30/2001 1:34 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear Rod: was the "duck" going to be wrapped with "duck tape"?
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#26690
04/30/2001 1:59 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
On a recent foray to the hardware store (another place I shouldn't be allowed free rein) I noticed that a savvy entrepreneur has marketed "Duck Tape" with a comic picture of a duck on the package. The "Duck Tape" is actually duct tape.
Duct tape -- for those not familiar with the product -is silver color on one side and has black sticky stuff on the other. Excellent not merely for its original purpose of sealing duct seams but also for repairing skis in an emergency, repairing a tear in a wet suit, securely wrapping packages, etc., etc. Also easy to tear off a strip without a knife or scissors.
Comparing prices and tape lengths, the regular old duct tape is much less $$ than the cleverly packaged "Duck Tape."
So, it appears the uninitiated in the mysteries of hardware spend twice what necesary because of a slip in pronunciation.
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#26691
04/30/2001 3:03 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
There now is a brand of duct tape in the US that is called duck tape–
I thought one of the most frightening scenes in the movie Apollo 13– was when they had the task of jury rigging the CO2 filter– and the instructions included using duct tape– the universal fix it tool... But wait a minute– these men were millions of miles from earth– and they where sent into outer space– with duct tape? Duct tape was a standard tool? And men got into a space ship that came equipped with duct tape as fix. Those guys were braver than I had imagined!
(And that reminds me of duck tape joke)
There was a young lad, walking down a country road– he passes a house, and the old cracker on the porch says hello, and asks him what he is about.
The lad replies –"I have me some duck tape. I'm a going duck hunting to get me some money, I aim to have a good time come Saturday, at the county fair."
The old cracker looks at the spool of duck tape, and says, "Wait just a minute.. Your doing it all wrong.. You can't catch ducks with duck tape"
But the lad pays no attention, and goes on his way. The old man shakes his head.
A few hour later, the boy passes the way again.. With dozens of ducks stuck fast to the duck tape. The old man sits wide eyed in wonder, the boy tips his hat.
The next day the boy is seen coming down the road again, with some chicken wire..
And when asked, he replies, "I'm gonna catch me some chickens, and sell um, I want to have enough money to have me a real good time at the county fair .."
And the man shakes his head, and says "Wait just a minute, you can't hunt chickens with chicken wire.. It just won't work" But the lad, smiles, and nods his head, and continues down the road.. And the old man thinks.– "hunting chickens with chicken wire! Like that would work..."
But a few hours later, the boy passes again, and caught in chicken wire are a dozen or more chickens..
Now, you could have knocked the old man over with a feather.. Chickens! chickens caught with chicken wire..
A day or two passes, and the lad is not seen. But Saturday afternoon, all washed and slicked up, he comes down the road again– with a bunch of pussy willow. And the old man looks at him, and his pussy willow, and asks "what you doing hunting now.. And what are you hunting for with pussy willow?" and the lad says–" I got me some money, and I aim to have a real good time to night at the country fair..."
and the old man says "Wait just a minute...I need to get my cap, I'm coming with you!"
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#26692
05/02/2001 11:56 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Sets me in a whole new train of thought about the traditional song that has the refrain, "All round my hat I will wear a green willow - - -".
What would you catch with that?
(No medical details, pulease !!!)
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