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Usage/Ukage/Ausage is an attempt to share information on differences between all the different versions of English (Sorry CK, I couldn't quite see how to fit Zild or others into the pattern). This board throws up examples all the time of words in local use, but I was wondering about words and phrases which have opposite meanings, or meanings so different as to cause embarrassment (and therefore amusing to the onlooker  ). I know of a few, but would like to hear of more. My understanding of the below may be incorrect so please correct me if I am wrong. I am also interested to know which side of the divide any bystanders may fall. moot point: US: A point not worth discussing UK: An important and undecided point table a motion: US: to put an agenda item aside for (much) later discussion (in UK this would be to "shelve a motion". UK: to bring the agenda item before the committee. Durex: UK: As Hover=Vacuum cleaner so Durex=condom Aus: Durex = Sellotape (Uk) = Scotchtape (US) (visions of Australians asking for a reel of Durex in UK, or pomms in Sydney having to "roll their own" ) Rubber: UK: An eraser US: Condom My wife's elderly aunt claims she was in a stationers in US and called out across the shop to her daughter already at the till "Wait, I've just found the pencils I was looking for, with the rubbers on the end in the shape of Mickey Mouse and Pluto" Others? Corrections? Rod
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Carpal Tunnel
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RE: with the rubbers on the end in the shape of Mickey Mouse and Pluto"
I heard in the past, that an alternate word for condoms in the UK was a "french cap"-- and the french called condoms --(no attempt here to put it into french) "english letters"
So what do the french call "french tickers" --( Not mickymouse rubbers I suspect)
On a more serious note-- "Its Greek to me" (for something total incomprehendable) becomes "Its Hewbrew to me" in (french i think) but in what is incomprehendable changes for language to language .... its Chinese... ( can we do a series?)
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Carpal Tunnel
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To fix a flat:
US To repair a flat t(i,y)re UK ? To rent an apartment ?
To knock someone up:
US To get someone pregnant UK ? To visit someone ? To come by and pick someone up ?
Not sure of the UKages but I'm sure we can get a clarification.
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fix a flat Faldage, I don't believe you would speak in the UK of "fixing" a flat of any kind. I believe it's only we USers who use "fix" to mean "repair". Verification/correction anyone?
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Carpal Tunnel
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Sorry CK, I couldn't quite see how to fit Zild or others into the pattern).
Zildages.
The interesting thing (from my perspective, anyway) is that ALL of the meanings attributed to the words above hold good here.
In NZ, rubber = eraser = condom, etc., depending on context.
Tabling a motion or an agenda item, however, only means putting it before the meeting. This is probably because you wouldn't be able to sort out what it meant from the context.
I have NEVER heard sellotape called Durex in Australia. I do stand to be corrected by our Ozzish neighbours, however.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Carpal Tunnel
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I believe it's only we USers who use "fix" to mean "repair". Zild uses "fix" for "repair" all the time. We would rent a flat, or an apartment, and if it needed maintenance work, we would fix it. Using "flat" for a rented residence gives the wonderfully useful verbal construction "flatting", which would be much more awkward if translated to "apartmenting". Unlike CK I have heard people outside of Lewisveal talk of fixing breakfast, which I must do now. 
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Carpal Tunnel
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fix... repair
Yes, I would be with you again Max - I would find it pretty natural to talk about "fixing a leak" or "fixing a tool" meaning mending it. But maybe this is a USnism that's crept into my lex - what about other Brits?
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Carpal Tunnel
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Rubber: UK: An eraser US: Condom...ahem... far, oh so very far, be it for me to be prudish, but... "rubbers" are equvalent to "galoshes" (I might be the only one (my age (whatever that is)) left on this side of the pond to wear them  ) I want my word back!!! 
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Dear musick: to me rubbers are only high enough to protect shoes, and galoshes go over shoes and come up ten inches or better and so have to be loose enough that four or more buckles are needed to close them. Back in the twenties girls who wore them unbuckled were called "flappers". Hardly anybody wears either these days. When weather was really wet, and slush or mud was a problem, I much preferred L.L. Bean's Maine hunting boots, with rubber bottoms and leather tops.
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"Wait, I've just found the pencils I was looking for, with the rubbers on the end in the shape of Mickey Mouse and Pluto"
to take the mickey out of him
UK: To put someone down (?) US:
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