re: use of spoons for other purposes, gutter police lookout!
A guy dining in a restaurant spoke to a waiter; "Why does each waiter and waitress have a knife, fork, and spoon, in their breast pocket?" The waiter answered, "A time and motion study found that diners were often dropping cutlery, and the waitpeople were spending time fetching new ones. Now we can immediately hand a clean item to the diner and pick up a new one on our next trip past the rack." "And why do all the waiters have a black thread protruding from their flies?" "Well, the same time and motion study found that we were spending a lot of time washing our hands after using the toilets. This way we can pull out the member without using our hands, thus saving more time" "I can see that works for getting it out, but what about putting it away?" "Well, I don't know about the other waiters, but I use the spoon" Apologies, but it does fit the topic, Rod
Thinking about never accepting a spoon in those circumstances I remembered an old superstition "Stir with a knife, stir for strife." Anyone have any other cutlery superstitions.... oh! oh! and dropping a spoon means "a new baby" and dropping a knife "a man will come to your door." Do you all know those or similar? Or are they new-to-you? wow
re cutlery superstitions. The only one that come to mind is that you must never give a knife as a present, presumably because if they cut themselves it will be your fault. So they must give you at least a penny for the knife; and then when they chop their fingers off, you have a clear conscience. Never did understand that one. Or can someone provide a better reason. Rod
All things that "cut" and things in pairs are taboo for Japanese wedding gifts-- the idea of "cutting" being the opposite of "joining"-- and things are given in odd numbers too-- not easy to divide--so by their nature- joined together. Household sets of dishes, glasses, and flatware (cutlery) are sold in sets of 5, or 10, not 4 and 8 as in common in US.
Things are given in odd numbers too-- not easy to divide--so by their nature- joined together... Household sets...are sold in sets of 5, or 10, not 4 and 8 as in common in US.
yeah, dividing ten by two always gives me problems.
but don't you know... here in CA the division of the estate after a divorce is simple: The wife gets the stuff, the husband gets the bills.
~Wife#2
edit: how funny, it only just now occurred to me that my husband did somehow wind up with exactly one (1) bowl, one (1) knife and one (1) spoon from his previous marital pot, and i only recently realized the source of these odd pieces and returned them to Wife#1, who was delighted to once again have a complete set. bet they got those knives for a wedding gift... *EG*
well as a #1 wife, I can't say I am all that well off-- but I did get the best of the bargain--I got rid of him-- Poor wife#2-- she is married to him!
(this of course is a personal view-- my divorce was rather ugly-- but in the end I was finally divorced! now that kid are independent and not an issue-- i never really have to have any dealings with him -- truly divorced!)
the division of the estate after a divorce is simple: The wife gets the stuff, the husband gets the bills
which leads to the story about the guy buying a Barbie doll for his daughter. The assistant explained that they had all sorts, Barbie on the Beach, Barbie the trial lawyer, Barbie the Supermodel, all the same price except Barbie the new divorcee, which was 5 times the price, because she came complete with Ken's convertible, Ken's house, Ken's Luxury camper van, etc.
And back on Knives as presents. The reason you shouldn't give them as WEDDING presents is because you might get charged as an accessory when the marriage turns a little sour.
Which segues onto a mixed metaphore I heard recently refring to a favoured project: "Now the honeymoon period is over. it's about time we started learning the facts of life"
well as a #1 wife, I can't say I am all that well off-- but I did get the best of the bargain--I got rid of him-- Poor wife#2-- she is married to him!
Hmmmm..... When I hear post-matrimony acrimony I wonder why the bitter one thought it a good idea to marry in the first place!
There's a country song that says something to the effect that every few years (the singer) finds a woman whom he passionately hates, and he buys her a house!
"Divorces are made in heaven." Oscar Wilde
"Zsa Zsa Gabor is an excellent housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house." Henny Youngman
It has been said that a woman marries a man thinking, "I can change him." A man marries a woman thinking, "She'll always be just as she is." They're both wrong. Attribution unknown, but spot-on!
A number of years ago, I worked with a couple who were in the process of divorce. The divorce went through and they held a party in a local pub on the strength of the decree nisi.
Nothing seemed to change, however. They still sat together in the lunch room, had the usual kind of in-jokes that couples do, and the woman dropped the guy off at his flat on the way home. They did date other people, but there was no evidence of seriousness.
Nine months later (after a pregnant pause?) they remarried. To my knowledge they're still together.
It makes you wonder. Maybe acrimony is the only way to have a good divorce! And maybe it's no coincidence that acrimony and alimony share so many letters ...
-- i never really have to have any dealings with him -- Me too. Marriage gave me debt, 2 great girls, and a bunch of cool 'sort of' relatives. With divorce the problem (him) out of not only my life, but has also walked (ran) away from, girls and his sibling and their families. Hopefully they'll all reconnect someday, but his walking away has my life easier.
Someone not to long ago tried to tell that marriage is all about luck if that is true that I'm lucky that ones is over.
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you naughty boy! But, re your joke :
And maybe it's no coincidence that acrimony and alimony share so many letters ...
