In reply to:

so does this mean i'm not the only one in the world with a habit of reading the labels on my shampoo bottles as i wait the requisite 60 seconds for my conditioner to take effect?? do any of you go so far as to say the words in your head, quickly, to see if you can make it all the way down the list without stumbling?

No, no. The proper way to read a shampoo bottle is to see if each letter of the alphabet appears at least once. I thought everybody knew that .