If I want to make a complaint about something I never swear. I will e-n-u-c-i-a-t-e very carefully (to make sure the person understands every word), in a tone that makes it clear that they DO NOT want to make me mad. I am also told that I usually sport a beatific smile that makes it that much more scary.

Can you teach me how to do it? Please? I'm usually able to hold it together for a bit, but if they continue to stonewall me (last time this happened I was talking to the administrators of my health insurance) I really lose it. I mean, not to the swearing point. But I do get personal. And I agree -- not the best way to handle these things.

You're my hero.