As a change from limericks, I offer a nonsense poem:

I saw a griffin and a unicorn
Pick scarlet lemons with a weaver's horn.
They glided through the humming barley field
Where last year's eggs lay dismally congealed,
And left their loaded wagons by a church
While rabbits sang upon a muddy perch.
A peasant girl, who wore an actor's mask,
Came by in haste to carry out her task,
And all the priest's unshaven acolytes,
In formal dress, with gloves and woollen tights,
Marched through a spinney to salute the sun,
Observed by an applauding Spanish nun.
A water-nymph reclined upon a stone,
Coquettishly conversing on her phone,
But near the riverbank two former saints
Rued their disgrace with loud, heartrending plaints,
And starlings on a sweet potato tree
Arranged old tunes in a discordant key.
I had a quarrel with a jeering wren,
And shot it with my loaded cartridge pen.
Besmirched with snow, and dazzled by the fog,
I galloped hither on my trusty dog.
The kings of old would send the geese away,
But such an act might irk the Pope today.
Why pour synthetic custard on our bread
When angels cook with vinegar instead?
As Adam joked to Eve upon their fall:
"That's life, my dear – you cannot win them all".

CONDITIONAL – CONTRIBUTION