|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
UNLIT – UNNATURAL
At night, on a street that's unlit,
Pedestrians fear they'll get hit.
Unnatural sights
Like UFO lights
May also scare walkers a bit.
DIALOGUE – DIET
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
When the poor lack an adequate diet,
Their hunger will cause much disquiet.
Their dialogue may
Incite an affray
Or even a fully-fledged riot.
LIBATION – LIGHTWEIGHT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
Some priests make a solemn libation
Then humbly beg God for salvation.
For others, a prayer
Is a lightweight affair,
With clapping and hoots of elation.
HOVER – HUMAN
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
The angels can hover and sing
Without even flapping a wing.
No human device
Is so clever and nice –
They're quite a miraculous thing.
REGARDING – REGURGITATE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
If they can regurgitate facts
Regarding past cases and Acts,
Exam-taking students
Will learn jurisprudence,
Unless carnal pleasure distracts.
BEFRIEND – BENEFIT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
The Bible says we should befriend
Society's outcasts, and spend
Our cash on the needy
And never be greedy.
Our souls benefit in the end.
OGRE – ONESELF
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
It's easy to defend oneself
Against a goblin, gnome or elf,
But ogres can be really scary,
Though their size and strength may vary.
EFFACE – EJECTION
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
On losing a crucial election,
A government faces ejection.
When taking its place,
The next will efface
Its laws, and reverse its direction.
POPULAR – POSE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
Though President Trump likes to pose
As a scourge of America's foes,
Most voters abhor
Perpetual war,
So popular discontent grows.
SAGACIOUS – SALVO
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
When faced with a salvo of jeers,
Of partisan catcalls and sneers,
A sagacious PM
Will reply, with great phlegm:
"Well, nobody's perfect, my dears".
DRAINPIPE – DREAM
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
DRAINPIPE – DREAM
A patient claimed "I had a dream
Where my drainpipe emitted red steam".
The psychiatrist said:
"Just go back to bed,
And if it recurs, give a scream".
ROBED – ROLLING
Last edited by A C Bowden; 04/26/2026 3:08 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
I saw some robed men near a mill
Who were rolling large stones down a hill.
They quickly dispersed
When the mill owner cursed:
"**** off, or I'll call the Old Bill!"
NEARBY – NERVOUS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
If you see some ball lightning nearby,
Or an uncanny glow in the sky,
Don't run from the place
With a nervous grimace –
Keep going, and never say die.
PLATITUDE – PLEASED
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
When a speech contains nothing but platitude,
It aggravates listeners' attitude.
The speaker gets teased,
And he isn't best pleased.
He cries "I deplore your ingratitude!"
DECISION – DECREASE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,295 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,295 Likes: 2 |
Limericku
There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim’ricks all
Looked like haiku. He
Said with a laugh, “I
Cut them in half; the pay is
Much better for two.”
Anonymous, via Paul B., on Facebook, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
DECISION – DECREASE
As your altitude starts to decrease,
You may fly near a flock of wild geese.
A lack of decision
Can risk a collision
And cause your untimely decease.
DISCORDANT – DISGRACE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,531 Likes: 12 |
As a change from limericks, I offer a nonsense poem:
I saw a griffin and a unicorn
Pick scarlet lemons with a weaver's horn.
They glided through the humming barley field
Where last year's eggs lay dismally congealed,
And left their loaded wagons by a church
While rabbits sang upon a muddy perch.
A peasant girl, who wore an actor's mask,
Came by in haste to carry out her task,
And all the priest's unshaven acolytes,
In formal dress, with gloves and woollen tights,
Marched through a spinney to salute the sun,
Observed by an applauding Spanish nun.
A water-nymph reclined upon a stone,
Coquettishly conversing on her phone,
But near the riverbank two former saints
Rued their disgrace with loud, heartrending plaints,
And starlings on a sweet potato tree
Arranged old tunes in a discordant key.
I had a quarrel with a jeering wren,
And shot it with my loaded cartridge pen.
Besmirched with snow, and dazzled by the fog,
I galloped hither on my trusty dog.
The kings of old would send the geese away,
But such an act might irk the Pope today.
Why pour synthetic custard on our bread
When angels cook with vinegar instead?
As Adam joked to Eve upon their fall:
"That's life, my dear – you cannot win them all".
CONDITIONAL – CONTRIBUTION
|
|
|
|
Forums16
Topics13,916
Posts230,495
Members9,211
| |
Most Online17,319
Apr 8th, 2026
|
|
|
|
