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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Our teacher, though openly gay,
Had an authoritarian way.
He'd mince down an aisle
With a menacing smile,
And none of us dared disobey.
LEAFY – LEVEL
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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If you're used to a nice leafy view,
You're likely to get in a stew
When builders come round
And level the ground
Where flowers and shrubbery grew.
GRIEVANCE – GRIPPING
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A grievance, if zealously nursed,
Can motivate murder at worst.
The most gripping plays
Examine the ways
Such vengeance is planned and rehearsed.
UNCOMMON – UNCONCERNED
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Our ancestors feared to espy
Uncommon events in the sky.
From all that we've learned,
We are now unconcerned;
We pass such phenomena by.
TANKARD – TAPESTRY
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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I went for a tankard of ale
In a picturesque pub in a vale.
A tapestry showed
The Yellow Brick Road,
Which was nice, but the food was all stale.
LIQUID – LITIGATION
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The lawyer began his oration:
"The subject of this litigation
Is liquid from cans
That ignites frying-pans.
My client demands compensation".
MADAM – MAGICIAN
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Pooh-Bah
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"Now, madam", exclaimed the magician,
"Please lie in a supine position.
I'll cut you in half,
And then, for a laugh,
I'll saw off your head in addition".
HAMPER – HANDY
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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There was an old fellow called Andy
Who reckoned that jogging was dandy,
But ocular blight
Could hamper his sight,
So he found a strong crash helmet handy.
KETCH – KIPLING
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Pooh-Bah
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He sat in his ketch reading Kipling
And watching the calm waters rippling.
As a speedboat went past,
He exclaimed "Life's too fast!"
And pulled out a can for some tippling.
SECRETARIAL – SHAME
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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When she did secretarial work,
Her boss was a lecher who'd lurk
With no sense of shame
And call out her name
In a lewd tone of voice. What a jerk!
DISPLAY – DISQUIET
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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When prisoners threatened to riot,
The governor showed some disquiet.
To prevent an affray
Or aggressive display,
He imposed a low-energy diet.
RHETORICAL – RICE
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Pooh-Bah
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A rhetorical question is nice
As a resonant verbal device.
A speaker may shrill:
"Do you all have free will,
Or are you inert grains of rice?"
LOCK – LONDON
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Pooh-Bah
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In cities like London, thank heaven,
Some stores don't lock up until seven.
It's a far better scene
Than in Covid-19
Or the riots of 2011.
BLINKERED – BLISSFUL
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Pooh-Bah
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If you live with a blinkered perspective
And your outlook on life is subjective,
You can blot out bad news
And contrary views,
And be blissful – if that's your objective.
THANKFUL – TIARA
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Pooh-Bah
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There was a rich countess called Clara
Who stumbled and trashed her tiara.
She kept a cool head –
"I'm thankful", she said,
"I haven't messed up my mascara".
ILLUSTRATE – IMBALANCE
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Pooh-Bah
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A bar chart can illustrate trends,
Like how much a government spends,
The imbalance in wealth
Or schooling or health,
And the sums that it borrows and lends.
VIGNETTE – VITAL
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Pooh-Bah
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When a star has a vital vignette
In a movie, they're likely to get
A few words to learn,
From which they can earn
A fortune without breaking sweat.
MARKETPLACE – MASK
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The police had the difficult task
Of finding a thief in a mask
In a marketplace packed
With people – in fact,
It proved an impossible ask.
GIN – GIVING
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Pooh-Bah
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If life makes you feel you can't win,
Just pour a large brandy or gin
And quaff it with verve –
You'll recover your nerve,
And you won't contemplate giving in.
ORBIT – ORGANIZE
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It may be too far to the stars,
But pleasure-craft orbits of Mars
Will be offered by firms
On generous terms,
With organized quizzes and bars.
PREPOSTEROUS – PREVAIL
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Pooh-Bah
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PREPOSTEROUS – PREVAIL
Preposterous sporting mismatches
May upset the odds in some patches,
But the form-book prevails
When England plays Wales
At rugby, with just a few scratches.
THERMOMETER – THIGH
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Pooh-Bah
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I asked my friend: "Why do you tie
A thermometer round your left thigh?"
The answer I got
Was simply "Why not?"
Which I thought an unhelpful reply.
IDENTITY – IDOLIZE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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As recent experience shows,
Some folk tend to idolize those
Whose online identity
Masks a nonentity,
Striking a populist pose.
GRADUAL – GRANDEUR
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Pooh-Bah
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A gradual change, by mutations
Selected through past generations,
Is mainly the key
To the forms that we see
And the grandeur of life's variations.
DISGUISE – DISMAL
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Pooh-Bah
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No wonder the play was a flop
And after three nights got the chop.
The plot involved spies
In dismal disguise;
The audience wished it would stop.
UGLY – UNDAUNTED
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Pooh-Bah
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The old mythological knights
Were always undaunted in fights
With ravenous creatures
Whose wild, ugly features
Could decimate troops with their bites.
MANAGE – MANDATE
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When given a mandate to rule,
A government needs to keep cool,
To swiftly enact
What voters have backed,
And manage despite ridicule.
CRAZE – CREEPY
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The way that irrational crazes
Can propagate always amazes.
It's creepy how viral
They get, and they spiral
Till people grow tired of such phases.
PENETRATE – PERCEIVE
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Pooh-Bah
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Some people refuse to believe
What they can distinctly perceive.
To penetrate minds
That pull down the blinds
Is awfully hard to achieve.
ASPECT – ASSOCIATE
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Pooh-Bah
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We associate England with tea
And France with soft cheeses like Brie.
Their national mood
Is evinced by their food –
The aspect we most often see.
REFINE – REHASH
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Pooh-Bah
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REFINE – REHASH
Good authors are keen to refine
Their writing, to make their prose shine.
They never rehash
Their juvenile trash,
But carefully polish each line.
CLAMBER – CLOGGED
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Pooh-Bah
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In winter, when wheels may be clogged
And tractors on farms can get bogged,
You'll see people clamber
Past lights flashing amber
Up steep icy roads that are fogged.
OFFERING – ONEROUS
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An offering tendered with piety
To the gods of some ancient society
Made an onerous rite
But assuaged divine spite
And conformed to religious propriety.
TICKING – TILTED
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If you've just set your metronome ticking
And it keeps changing rhythm or sticking,
The base might be tilted
Or inner parts silted,
So don't simply give it a kicking.
NORMAL – NOTEPAD
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Pooh-Bah
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If there's something not normal I spot,
I take out my notepad and jot
Its time and location
And more information.
The world's full of wonders, eh what?
TRADING – TRAMPOLINE
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Pooh-Bah
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Inspectors are constantly raiding
The dens of unauthorised trading.
They seize dud machines
And bent trampolines –
It's squalid and pretty degrading.
SENIOR – SEPARATE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The senior staff in some firms
Still think in hierarchical terms.
Their separate space
Is a sanitised place
Away from the proles and their germs.
CHIEFLY – CHUCKED
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It's chiefly drunk members who flout
Decorum, so be in no doubt:
This club will take action
Against such infraction –
Those louts will be swiftly chucked out.
RESTRAIN – RETREAT
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Zelensky is keen to defeat
The Russians, or make them retreat.
If he can restrain
Their ruthless campaign,
He'll show the US he's not beat.
TRANSIT – TRAVAILS
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Pooh-Bah
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In war, when a cargo ship sails,
Its transit is full of travails.
A torpedo or bomb
That is aimed with aplomb
May cause it to sink, as may gales.
UNLIT – UNNATURAL
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