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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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PLEASURE – PLENARY
The Borough's Committee for Leisure
Proposes a Garden of Pleasure
With cheap plastic greenery.
Let's hope the plenary
Council approves such a measure.
('Leisure' pronounced the British way.)
EMOTIVE – ENCOURAGE
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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There was a rogue preacher called Wyatt
Whose sermons aroused much disquiet.
Emotive and loud,
He encouraged his crowd
To dress as crusaders and riot.
POCKET – POKY
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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I knew a disgraced City gent
Who lived in a poky old tent.
He'd reach in his pocket
And pull out a docket
To check how much money he'd spent.
DIRECTION – DISAGREE
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A maestro's ill-founded 'correction'
Irked players within the brass section.
They all disagreed
With his notion of speed,
And brazenly mocked his direction.
TENDENCY – TENURE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Most powerful men have a tendency
To seek to prolong their ascendancy.
Their tenure of might,
Which they see as their right,
Can quickly become a dependency.
LIKELY – LINEN
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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In the bad old days, women would stand
And wash their soiled linen by hand.
Now washing machines
Are the most likely means,
And harmful abrasives are banned.
ANNOUNCE – ANOMALY
Last edited by A C Bowden; 12/26/2024 3:47 PM.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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The bishop announced: "In my see,
Unorthodox views should be free".
He then preached a homily
With an anomaly:
God was referred to as 'she'.
TALENT – TANGLED
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
His sermon thus artfully angled
Displayed his beliefs so newfangled.
But to shore up his pronouns
He tried using no nouns
And soon became hopelessly tangled.
HUTCH - HYMN
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
Our perception of temporal flow
Is such that time seems to run slow
When we anxiously wait
For events running late,
As tests with a pendulum show. - 1/8/2024, above See "Exhalation," in the book Exhalation by Ted Chiang, a Borzoi book published by Alfred A Knopf, 2019, for a story on precisely this theme
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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His sermon thus artfully angled
Displayed his beliefs so newfangled.
But to shore up his pronouns
He tried using no nouns
And soon became hopelessly tangled.
HUTCH - HYMN My nephew is learning the cello, But no-one would call his tone mellow. Though I try to be gallant And say he has talent, His fingers get tangled, poor fellow. HUTCH – HYMN
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
His sermon thus artfully angled
Displayed his beliefs so newfangled.
But to shore up his pronouns
He tried using no nouns
And soon became hopelessly tangled.
OK, let's try this:
Despite being artfully angled
His thoughts were just hopelessly tangled.
With talent thus lacking
He soon was sent packing;
A lesser position he's wangled.
HUTCH - HYMN
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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As the flock has become very small,
We now use the tiny church hall.
They call it the Hutch,
As it doesn't hold much –
Three chairs and some hymn books, that's all.
MIRACLE – MISCELLANEOUS
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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I have miscellaneous skills,
But a miracle cure for all ills
I have not yet perfected.
Now don't get dejected –
Try some of my happiness pills.
RATE – RAVENOUS
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A posh English golfer called Brian
Encountered a ravenous lion.
He withdrew at a rate
That was fairly sedate,
While swinging his club (a four-iron).
CHAMBER – CHANDELIER
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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I like chamber music that calms,
Especially Schubert and Brahms,
In a warm atmosphere
With a fine chandelier
And other such sensual balms.
HELICOPTER – HELVETIC
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A police helicopter was sent
To a Helvetic skiing event.
The cops reached a slope,
Descended a rope,
And cornered their man in a tent.
DEADLOCK – DECENT
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The statesman looked slightly askance
When asked if a half-decent chance
Of peace now existed.
The deadlock persisted,
He said; there was still no advance.
TRANSMIT – TRAVERSE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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When I sit at my desk to transmit
My pearls of poetical wit
And set them in motion
Traversing the ocean,
I must say it awes me a bit.
SAUCER – SCARCELY
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A real flying-saucer fanatic
Is apt to be overdramatic.
I can scarcely refrain
From replying "Insane!"
Or another word just as emphatic.
BREADTH – BRIEFING
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1 member likes this:
wofahulicodoc |
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The breadth of the minister's role
Was starting to take quite a toll.
He wouldn't stop beefing
At each lengthy briefing;
The paperwork made his eyes roll.
IMMUNE – INAPPROPRIATE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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IMMUNE – INAPPROPRIATE
Just one inappropriate word
That a member of staff may have heard
Can get you the sack
And you'll never come back,
For no-one's immune. It's absurd!
MEMORY – MENINGITIS
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A patient who had tonsillitis
Went on to develop bronchitis.
When his memory failed,
The Grim Reaper prevailed,
And he died of acute meningitis.
TEAMMATE – TEDIOUS
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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Some kids just like keeping the ball;
They won't pass to teammates at all.
They only want goals,
Not tedious roles
Where the chances of scoring are small.
SCAMPER – SCATTER
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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If your dog likes to scamper around
And scatter small toys on the ground,
Adopt a brisk tone
And throw it a bone.
It's very effective, I've found.
PREDOMINATE – PREFIXED
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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Americans tend to abominate
Prefixed feudal titles to nominate
Great people (like 'Sir'),
Which in Britain occur
A lot, as traditions predominate.
NIGHTMARISH – NINTH
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The ninth of a cat's alleged lives
Must be nightmarish when it arrives.
For its future is brief,
And it purrs with relief
On each further day it survives.
DEPEND – DEPRESSION
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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If you have a demanding profession,
Your work can become an obsession.
You depend on the stress,
And if it grows less
You're likely to suffer depression.
REFRAIN – REIN
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The choirboys must rein in their voice
Until the injunction "Rejoice!"
In the lusty refrain
Makes it hard to restrain.
At least, that's the choirmaster's choice.
ODD – OFFICIAL
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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If a despot, or some top official,
Decrees something extrajudicial,
We don't find it odd,
For they tell us that God
Assents when they sign their initial.
CRUDE – CUCKOO
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The nightingale's song is exquisite
And makes its haunts well worth a visit.
The cuckoo's is crude,
But it has a bright mood,
Which is not a bad attribute, is it?
RASCAL – RATING
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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An index of congressmen, stating
Their party and honesty rating,
Would focus complaints
On the rascals, not saints,
But the list would need constant updating.
LOCOMOTION – LONGING
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A snail's locomotion is slow;
It's probably longing to go
At a much faster rate,
But you can't defy Fate,
As any failed athlete will know.
WATERFALL – WEALTHY
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A folly, a grand waterfall,
And a fountain a hundred feet tall
Will show that you're wealthy,
But pride is unhealthy.
Be modest, and build something small.
ALTERNATIVE – ALWAYS
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The key to investment success
Is always to make a shrewd guess
And then hold your nerve,
But to keep in reserve
An alternative you can finesse.
FELLOW – FERMENT
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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There was a young fellow from Kent,
Who sold apple pies from a tent.
They were topped with a cherry
And made people merry,
For the yeast in them made them ferment.
MIMIC – MINORITY
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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When they get to the age of majority,
Some folk like to challenge authority.
They mimic the speech
Of their elders who preach,
But the rebels are just a minority.
PEREGRINATION – PERIOD
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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If you make a long peregrination
In search of divine inspiration,
Like knights, monks or lamas
In period dramas,
I hope that your soul finds salvation.
VALIUM – VARIED
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A good varied diet, with allium
(Like garlic) will wean you off Valium.
Take note: if you fret,
So bad can you get
That you jump off a cliff, or take thallium.
HERRING – HEWN
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A caveman decided to make
A spear to catch herring and hake.
This wooden harpoon
Was carefully hewn,
But turned out to be a mistake.
STANDARD – STEADFAST
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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The infantry soldiers were meant
To be steadfast, and never relent.
But sometimes the standard
Was dropped, or meandered,
Or even got left in a tent.
MENACING – MINCE
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