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The judge had a turgid preamble
Which started off: "Crime is a gamble..."
And talked of the gallows,
Hellfire and All Hallows –
The barristers yawned through his ramble.

TECHNICAL – TEDDY

A C Bowden #232926 05/16/24 02:42 PM
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When living conditions were rough,
A plain teddy bear was enough
To comfort a child.
Now play has gone wild,
And they want all the technical stuff.

PARTING – PASCHAL

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We sell many cards in this store,
For birthdays and weddings galore,
For partings, bereavements,
Retirements, achievements,
'Get well's, Paschal greetings, and more.

TOGETHER – TOMBSTONE

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A C Bowden #232955 05/26/24 01:09 AM
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The couple lie mutely together,
Interred beneath daisies and heather.
Their tombstone records
That they often crossed swords
And quarrelled like hell in bad weather.

ANTIQUE – APATHY

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The apathy shown in this town
Gets local antique dealers down.
To attract passers-by,
They frequently cry:
"Brass bedsteads for just half a crown!"

LIMITATION – LINKING

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When making a grand peroration,
Good speakers find no limitation
In linking ideas
Of hopes, dreams and fears
In a way that receives an ovation.

QUACKERY – QUART

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When I've finished two-thirds of a quart
My satirical efforts fall short
Of absolute quackery
(No Makepeace Thackeray
I) but I do it for sport.

DILATORY - DISCHARGE

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A soldier will not achieve glory
If his actions are too dilatory.
When the foe is at large,
If he's slow to discharge
A weapon, his end may be gory.

SOLID – SONGSMITH

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...when I read your verse, my brain - and ears - instantly go to Penzance:

If he’s telling a terrible story
He shall die by a death that is gory,
Yes, one of the cruellest slaughters
That ever were known in these waters;
It is easy, in elegant diction,
To call it an innocent fiction;
But it comes in the same category
As telling a regular terrible story....

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Very philosophical... smirk


SOLID – SONGSMITH

What songsmiths require nowadays
Is one solid, repeatable phrase.
Then they might as well stop
If they write modern pop,
For mantra-like songs are the craze.

PERSIST – PERVERSE

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