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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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CUSHION – CUTTER
A cushion firm purchased a cutter Which sliced through tough fabrics like butter. Alas, it broke down – On my last trip to town, I saw the machine in a gutter.
PINEAPPLE – PIONEER
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7 |
Said one old Transvaal pioneer: "There's no place for luxuries here. You can't load your cart With pineapple tart Or fill it with kegs of Dutch beer".
SPIRE – SPRINGTIME
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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In springtime, we sang in a choir. The church had a picturesque spire And statues of martyrs In breeches and garters. Alas, the acoustics were dire.
KICKER – KNOW
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7 |
The coach grabbed some charts and unrolled them, Then gathered his players and told them: "I know, a good kicker Would help us score quicker. I had some great guys, but I sold them!"
DRAWBACK – DRENCHED
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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I didn't stay here and complain About being drenched yet again. I flew off to Crete, But the blistering heat Was a drawback — I yearned for some rain.
OBSESSED – OBTAINED
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A student of mine was obsessed With finishing top in a test. But having obtained Full marks, she complained: "I still feel profoundly depressed".
TEMPLE – TENNIS
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A young British tourist called Dennis Encountered a temple near Venice. Between two brick walls The priests batted balls In a rite that resembled Real tennis.
UNLUCKY – UNMISTAKABLE
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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That dull, unmistakable sound Is a jump jockey hitting the ground. All riders are plucky, But some are unlucky And find themselves hospital-bound.
REVISION – REX
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A school board approved a revision Of history, with its decision To use the word 'Rex' Regardless of sex In textbooks. This caused much derision.
PENTHOUSE – PERCOLATE
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,255 Likes: 7 |
My well-dressed conservative friend Insisted: "The money I spend Will percolate down To the paupers in town From my penthouse in London's West End".
ALDERMAN – ALIVE
Last edited by A C Bowden; 10/04/21 12:44 AM.
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