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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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DIZZY - DODO
The dodo, which lived in Mauritius,
Was placid, and not at all vicious;
Then hunters got busy
And made it feel dizzy.
The urge to control is pernicious.
CENTRAL - CEREMONIAL
Last edited by A C Bowden; 08/16/2018 12:51 PM.
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Pooh-Bah
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The Queen's coronation was grand;
The central events were well planned.
Ceremonial skill
And punctilious drill
Are old royal strengths in this land.
SHIPWRECK - SHORTLY
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"We will shortly observe", said the guide,
"The rock where a hundred men died.
The shipwreck was tragic,
But claims of black magic
Have always been hotly denied."
LUBRICATE - LUNCHTIME
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Aha! Clearly the theme will be three martinis…
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Pooh-Bah
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LUBRICATE - LUNCHTIME
At lunchtime, I find milky tea
Sufficient to lubricate me.
My friends enjoy wine
Or gin when they dine -
One guy likes a blend of all three.
WEEPING - WELLINGTON
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When Wellington won Waterloo
By vanquishing Bonaparte's crew,
The weeping was drowned
By a great cheering sound.
They made him Prime Minister too.
RHAPSODY - RIBBONS
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I saw Liberace once play
A rhapsody based on My Way.
He wore a gold suit,
With ribbons so cute
That they shook when he reached to top A.
CUMBERSOME - CUPOLA
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There are some architectural styles
That many a critic reviles,
Like a cupola built
At a ten-degree tilt,
Or a cumbersome slab seen for miles.
ASHLAR - ASPHALT
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Continual urbanization
Has spoiled this once peaceful location.
There are few things so drab
As a fake ashlar slab
Or asphalt, in my estimation.
DUBBED - DUMMY
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Ventriloquists 'speak from their tummy'
(Or so the word means), while their dummy
Moves his or her lips
To make merry quips.
One pair were dubbed 'Jock and the Brummie'.
LUG - LUMINOUS
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Carpal Tunnel
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I will lug to the top of the mount
My scope's equatorial mount
To catalog Mars
And the luminous stars
But I fear they're too many to count.
SECRETARY - SERGEANT
[If needed, refer to Iolanthe, Finale, Act I, for a guide to pronunciation.]
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The Queen's secretary confessed:
"These protocol points make me stressed.
If, near the equator,
Some sergeant-dictator
Takes power, how's the bastard addressed?"
TOPPLE - TORPOR
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Louis XIV and XVI of France
Tried their wives' private lives to enhance
As they ditched the two Lous
In two loos in Toulouse
To avoid being looked at askance
(With four “to”s and four “loo”s to use I just couldn’t resist)
((Even without the key words))
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TOPPLE - TORPOR
The French like a good revolution,
To topple an old constitution.
The conservative British
Regard this as skittish;
Their torpor prevents that solution.
CYNOSURE - DACHSHUND
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There were many fine dogs at the show,
But the true cynosure – le plus beau –
Was a dachshund, whose mien
Was so proud and serene
It impressed the most jaded old pro.
STRATHSPEY - STRIDENT
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Though pipers will happily play
A strident Scots reel or strathspey,
They're often less keen
On God Save the Queen,
But Flower of Scotland's OK.
COWSLIPS – CULVERT
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...but with the understanding that Spa is a town in Belgium, I offer
Hergé's comic's in French up in Spa
Where they laugh "Hé-hé-hé!" not "Ha-Ha!"
Might be plain or be fanthy -
Or mock Iolanthe
(Brass band playing Tin-Tin-ta-ra!)
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From a culvert where it was concealed,
A Spa stream emerged in a field
Where cowslips were found
And Francophones clowned.
Now the source of their mirth is revealed.
MODEST – MODULATION
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Musicians of modest ability
Admire great composers' facility
For smooth modulation,
Refined orchestration,
And feats of melodic agility.
ENCROACH – ENERGETIC
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Some cities are most energetic;
Their development pace is frenetic.
But such an approach
May sadly encroach
On the peace of a monkish ascetic.
RAVINE – REACT
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RAVINE – REACT
In lands where conditions are mean,
You risk falling down a ravine.
They only extract
The folk who react;
The rest they just leave at the scene.
WHALE – WHET
Last edited by A C Bowden; 04/23/2019 4:43 AM.
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Old-timers, when hunting a whale,
Would aim at its head, not its tail.
They found it a boon
To whet each harpoon
On a rough block of sandstone or shale.
HIDALGO – HIGHLY
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A Spanish hidalgo or knight
Was highly averse to a slight.
If touched, he would rave:
"You insult me, you knave!
My honour demands that we fight!"
PUZZLE – QUARTET
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We're quite an ill-balanced quartet –
Three flutes and a bass clarinet.
For want of a fiddle
To strengthen the middle,
We've not solved this puzzle quite yet.
UNIQUE – UNLUCKY
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I have taken the liberty of using 'uniquely' rather than 'unique'...
The Liverpool players were plucky
But finished uniquely unlucky,
For Manchester City
Proved even more gritty.
My Scouse friend said "Life's a bitch, ducky".
RIDDLE – RISING
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The weatherman said: "It's surprising
That with pressure persistently rising
The wind has such speed.
A riddle, indeed –
Or maybe this map needs revising".
LORE – LOUCHE
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Old London lore tells of a pub
Where they served dodgy liquor and grub.
Its louche clientele
Called it manna from hell
And founded the Basse Cuisine club.
SLEET – SLENDER
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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There was sleet in the streets of Khartoum.
Slender lass took a lad to her room.
"But," she said, "you must know
If it works out...just so...
Then my father will threaten your doom..."
INGRATE - INSIPID
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I once had a brief altercation
With a beggar at Waterloo station,
Because the ingrate
Sneered: "Insipid stuff, mate!"
At my cold cappuccino oblation.
PSYCHOKINETIC – PULL
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He claimed to be psychokinetic,
But I found his performance pathetic.
He used a thin string
To pull everything!
Mind-power remains theoretic.
CARNATION – CARTWHEELS
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CARNATION – CARTWHEELS
Small plants suffer much from the moves
Of tractors and cartwheels and hooves.
A poor wild carnation
Risks disintegration
If caught in vehicular grooves.
EFFORT – EKE
Last edited by A C Bowden; 06/23/2019 2:17 AM.
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While making great effort to eke
Their food rations out every week,
Stout folk in all nations
Cursed wartime privations
Which slimmed down their ample physique.
RULER – RUNNER
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A runner exclaimed: "I object!
The length of this track's incorrect!"
His coach, who was cooler,
Said: "Check with a ruler.
It's just your poor sight, I expect".
LEMONADE – LETTERS
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I recently bought lemonade,
Then checked to see where it was made.
RHODESIA, it said
In letters of red.
No wonder the stuff had decayed.
HOSE – HOSTILITY
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Two neighbours, with flagrant hostility,
Made taunts of outrageous scurrility.
When one aimed his hose
At the other man's nose,
He ruled out all hope of civility.
DISTINGUISH – DIVERT
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A pilot, when forced to divert
In the course of a safety alert,
Could not, going one way,
Distinguish the runway.
He turned around, crashed, and got hurt.
SEIZING – SERMON
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It was during a sermon on sin
That iconoclasts forced their way in.
The priest, seizing one,
Said: "When you're all done,
Can you put the smashed glass in a bin".
COLLECT – COLONEL
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My grandfather used to collect
Toy soldiers, and he would inspect
His precious assortment
For dress and deportment,
Then bark, like a colonel, "Correct!"
TEMPESTUOUS – TEND
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In Rome, Carthage, Persia and Greece
The wars tended never to cease,
And people's tempestuous
(Often incestuous)
Passions allowed them no peace.
OPACITY – OPINION
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Pooh-Bah
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Some German philosophers write
Dense tomes that give students a fright.
Their opacity muddies
Their meaning in studies
(Which, in my opinion, is slight).
LOCATION – LOG
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