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Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
PASSENGER - PASTEL
A passenger survey once found
That the tension of waiting around
Could be somewhat allayed
If stations displayed
Pink text on a pastel blue ground.
REJOIN - REMEDIAL
Last edited by A C Bowden; 01/10/2018 1:31 AM.
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Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
Some sailors, ashore for some pleasure,
Got a message curtailing their leisure:
"Rejoin your ship now!
There's a crack in the bow,
And we need some remedial measure".
UNIT - UNLEASH
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
The unit of rocket-ship payload
Is more than a bale or a hayload.
Unleashed Falcon to Mars
And we send Tesla cars
(Should have been not a red but a grey load).
APPLE - APPLICATION
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
Good health needs the strict application
Of sensible alimentation.
"An apple a day
Keeps the doctor away"
Is a very sound recommendation.
ROBUST - ROLLER
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
The printers were really nonplussed
When a roller collapsed due to rust.
Their boss said: "It seems
That to shift all these reams
We need something much more robust".
ANOMALY - ANTENNA
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Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
I thought I detected anomaly
When the preacher delivered his homily
My antenna perked up -
Sanctimonious pup
Had ignored all the values of family
BUTTE - CALAMITY
(Don't laugh - the previous page goes from BUM to BUTT...honest.!)
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
There was a young army recruit
To whom the instructor said: "Shoot!"
Calamity struck,
And he died through bad luck
When his shot ricocheted off a butte.
ENDING - ENHARMONIC
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
Be sharp and see more than platonic
In a lover who's not catatonic
Pick a musical school
And I guarantee you'll
Have a marriage that's most enharmonic !
SCROLL - SECRET
(I'll ignore an earlier page which - really - goes from "mentis gratissimus error" to "meum et teum" !)
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
Try again.
Be sharp and see more than platonic
With a lover who's not catatonic
Actions chanteusical
Lead to a musical
Ending that's most enharmonic.
SCROLL - SECRET
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A scroll from an old hypogeum
Beneath an austere mausoleum
Had secret inscriptions
Whose clever encryptions
Were solved at the British Museum.
NIGHTLY - NITROGEN
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
“It’s not easy to laugh,” he said brightly,
“So I practice it just about nightly.
I bring my boat dockside,
Breathe nitrogen oxide.
Here, try some!” he offered politely.
AMBIENT - APERTURE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
One aperture may not suffice
To empty a can in a trice.
If the ambient air
Keeps the liquid in there,
The can must be pierced at least twice.
MERMAID - METHOD
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A mermaid can swim like a fish;
Her tail makes a powerful swish.
But her method of movement
Is quite an improvement -
Her arms can be flexed at her wish.
MARGRAVE - MARZIPAN
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
A female Margrave (and Dutchess)
Sought post-prandial sweets to eat, such as
Some chocolate brandy
Or marzipan candy.
You're Danish? Stay out of her clutches!
POINTLESS - PORCELAIN
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
That is to say, a Margravine... And here's one I did earlier today:A margrave declared to a lackey: I'll eat something novel and snacky". "This marzipan, Sire, Is what you require", Said the cook; "it's exotic and wacky".
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
Quite similar in spirit, aren't they.
A (very) brief peek via Google reveals that the post of Margrave was generally
restricted to males. Ah well - chalk it up to Authors' License.
And I didn't realize until after posting that the rhyme was inspired by G&S -
"...In short, if you'd kindle/The spark of a swindle..." from Gondoliers.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
POINTLESS - PORCELAIN
A well-known antiques connoisseur
Remarked with an expert's hauteur:
"Your porcelain bowl
Has this pointless small hole -
A quirk that was once de rigueur".
DRAINED - DRIFTED
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A few hundred yards still remained,
And both sets of oarsmen felt drained.
They drifted so wide
They were disqualified.
"Void race!" cried the ref, looking pained.
EDIFY - EFFUSIVE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
If you're eager to edify sinners
Or people who beg for hot dinners,
Be warm and effusive -
Say "Joy is elusive,
But Jesus loves losers, not winners".
ROGUISH - ROOF
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
If you wish in this world to advance
Your merits you're bound to enhance
You must stir it and stump it
And blow your own trumpet
Or trust me you haven't a chance!
(--You-know-who)
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
(...and as long as I'm recycling other people's lines)
We knew roguish René was aloof,
Took a mugful of ale to the roof.
"Will you chug the whole lot?"
When he said, "I think not!"
Why, he vanished away with a Pouf!
OVERWHELMED - PALATE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
At first I was rather suspicious -
I thought your cuisine too ambitious.
But every small bite
Gave my palate delight.
I'm quite overwhelmed. It's delicious!
LORDSHIP - LOUDSPEAKER
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
Loudspeakers on battlements blared:
"His Lordship the Duke has declared
That he's now indisposed,
So this castle is closed".
Some tourists' annoyance was aired.
CRASS - CREVASSE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
Eight ill-prepared climbers, en masse,
Fell down an uncharted crevasse.
To say "Serves them right!",
On hearing their plight,
Would sound unforgivably crass.
ORBITAL - OUTLAST
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,074 Likes: 2 |
Oops! He spilled his solution of sorbitol
And the sponge somehow wouldn't absorb it all.
Now all science he nixes
Small Engines he fixes
'Cuz not all mechanics are orbital!
Oops - no OUTLAST in that one. Let's do it again:
At NASA they had a big fight
About satellites' orbital height.
Then they'd argue - and drink -
And raise a big stink
About who'd outlast whom in a fight.
LULLABY - MAGAZINE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A lullaby might be too mild
For a loud, hyperactive young child,
But something by Queen
From a rock magazine
May prove more acceptably wild.
GAMING - GARRULOUS
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
In gaming, success isn't free;
Intense concentration is key.
A garrulous boozer
Is always a loser,
As any observer can see.
DIAGRAM - DIFFICULT
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
The diagram drawn to explain
The work flow was dense and arcane.
Achieving a pass
In that difficult class
Drove management students insane.
BITTEREST - BLANK
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A physicist born in Darjeeling
Now lived in west London, in Ealing.
When he studied Max Planck
His mind went a blank,
Which gave him the bitterest feeling.
TECHNICAL - TENACIOUSLY
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Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Two thumbs up: been there done that. 
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
TECHNICAL - TENACIOUSLY
Tenaciously, and with aplomb,
A sapper defused a large bomb.
His technical skill
And firmness of will
Caused watchers to mutter: "Quel homme!"
GRAPPLE - GRIFFIN
Last edited by A C Bowden; 07/05/2018 4:14 AM.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A questing knight errant's advance
Was checked when a griffin, by chance,
Appeared near a pit;
They grappled a bit,
Then the knight slew the beast with his lance.
PANIC - PARAGRAPH
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Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
A writer chap nearly got fired
For a paragraph more than inspired:
He’d a cuppa so tannic
It engendered near panic
In prose that was too hot for Wired.
CHROMOSOME – CIAO
Ick! I’m so rusty!
Last edited by Tromboniator; 07/17/2018 5:35 AM.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A rogue chromosome that I've got
Has made me a real xenoglot.
I'll be talking, then bingo!
Out comes some strange lingo,
Like 'ciao', 'entre nous', and such rot.
FRAGMENT - FROG
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
A writer chap nearly got fired
For a paragraph more than inspired:
He’d a cuppa so tannic
It engendered near panic
In prose that was too hot for Wired.
CHROMOSOME – CIAO
Ick! I’m so rusty! Still much better than I can do.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
A rogue chromosome that I've got
Has made me a real xenoglot.
I'll be talking, then bingo!
Out comes some strange lingo,
Like 'ciao', 'entre nous', and such rot.
FRAGMENT - FROG Me too, probably because we spend so much time on this site and others trying to master PIE.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
Archaeologist posted his blog:
“Found a fragment of text in a bog.”
Years of stymied translation
Led to his revelation
That it’s really the corpse of a frog.
BELITTLE-BEND
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
I try to bend spoons with my mind,
But people are often unkind:
"Your psychokinetic
Attempts are pathetic!"
I'm often belittled, I find.
GRAVEL - GREENGAGE
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
An inn near the end of our travel
On byways of grass, mud and gravel
Served dry, tasteless ham
And sour greengage jam,
But we were too hungry to cavil.
REINS - RELIANT
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,457 Likes: 10 |
A highwayman rode over plains
With his takings secured to the reins.
Reliant on speed,
He goaded his steed
Till it threw him and trampled his brains.
DIZZY - DODO
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